Questions on contempt and visitation

[kevkermit]

16 yr old son had STAR program yesterday.

When son notified me about the program and explained he needed to deal with his dad on it because it fell during his time.  ( I have been told numerous times to take myself out of the equation with out son being 16 and allow him to deal with dad)

Son talked with his dad about program 3 weeks ago and dad told him he could attend the program.

Son attended program yesterday and the teacher informed him that his dad had called and said he would not be attending the program.  Not only that but dad drove right past the school after picking up our daughter knowing that is where our son was at for the program and could have easily stopped and picked him up if the visitation was that big of a deal and he wasn't playing games.

I then called my ex and he claims he never told our son he could attend however both my children claim that he did.  

Have an order which specifies kids can be in extracurriculars and ex gets make up time on his alternate Sunday till 8:00

I feel ex is going to file contempt because our son attended his star program.

1) Is it likely that I will be at fault for this?

2) Is it reasonable to allow 16 yr old to deal with dad on the issues that interfere with his parenting time?

3) If son and his dad make an agreement how is the best way to handle that so that ex can't change his story and try and hold me in contempt after agreeing to something with our son?

Thanks in advance

[socrateaser]

>1) Is it likely that I will be at fault for this?

No, your order anticipates and permits make up time for extracurricular activities, so no worries.

>
>2) Is it reasonable to allow 16 yr old to deal with dad on the
>issues that interfere with his parenting time?

Practically yes, legally maybe not. If you are not closely monitoring your son's decisions before consenting, then you are not really acting in his best interests.

>
>3) If son and his dad make an agreement how is the best way to
>handle that so that ex can't change his story and try and hold
>me in contempt after agreeing to something with our son?

Send a confirmation letter immediately when you discover the agreement, or get it in writing in advance.

Although, I don't see anything in your posts that gives the ex an opportunity to withhold consent for the activities, so I'm not sure why this is an issue, except for cooperation's sake.

If there is express text that requires the other parent's consent, then that would change my entire analysis.