Any additional advice?

[DecentDad]

Soc,

Okay, my supplemental declaration was served today.

Child had third meeting with psych today.  While in the waiting room, I could hear child mimicking in a loud voice the brief debate biomom and I had when biomom ignored orders, "EVERY MONDAY, EVERY OTHER MONDAY, ETC"

Psych pulled me in at the end to say that child wanted psych to discuss things with biomom and I, but child didn't want to be present.  Psych said she'll arrange a conference call with us (which I imagine will be a fiasco because two prior co-parenting therapists couldn't keep biomom calm long enough to have any resolution-focused discussion).

I asked psych if she's had any contact with GAL.  She said no.  I asked if she wouldn't mind writing a summary and fax to all parties, given that June 6 is the review.  She said okay, but first wants the conference call with parents.

Child volunteered in car ride home that she told psych about the "fight" between her mom and I (i.e., neither one of us had raised voices, but we argued for 30 seconds).  I validated that it must have been upsetting to her (we had previously discussed it, and I never assigned blame).

Child said that psych told her that biomom was right.  Child asked me who I told.  All I could do was tell her that biomom and psych are wrong.  I told her the school now knows the right "rule" about Mondays, and they'll remind whichever parent makes a mistake, so she doesn't have to worry about it happening again.

I left psych a voicemail, saying what child claimed psych said, wanting to discuss; because if true, it debilitates child's ability to trust what I say.  And I want her suggestion on how to resolve child's confusion.

I sent her a fax a few minutes ago, showing letter from the school stating intent to enforce the orders (contradictory to mom), showing OC's own draft of these orders (contradictory to mom), and page from hearing transcript (contradictory to mom).

Psych left voicemail back, saying that while she validating child's feelings of despair about the arguing, she never told child that either parent was right.


1.  It's now Wednesday.  Hearing is on Tuesday.  GAL hasn't spoken to psych, hasn't talked with me.  I sent him a fax on Monday, advising that child's last psych appt is today (Wed) and that I'm still available to meet, per his initial thoughts.  Anything else I can do?

2.  How to fight a continuance on Tuesday, if it's raised?

[socrateaser]

>1.  It's now Wednesday.  Hearing is on Tuesday.  GAL hasn't
>spoken to psych, hasn't talked with me.  I sent him a fax on
>Monday, advising that child's last psych appt is today (Wed)
>and that I'm still available to meet, per his initial
>thoughts.  Anything else I can do?

I think it was a mistake to offer your conclusions to the therapist as to what effect the therapist's questions or comments may have had on the child. It "feels" to me like you're trying to control the outcome of the therapy, and that feeling will not be lost on the therapist, in my opinion.

This isn't to say that I think that the therapist is incapable of making inappropriate comments or leading the child during therapy. But, you can't really control that. You can, however, control your own input to the therapist to minimize his ability to draw any adverse conclusions from your own behavior.

Anyway, you did what you believed you should do, and it's done. Now we will just have to wait and see how it affects the therapist's summary.

>2.  How to fight a continuance on Tuesday, if it's raised?

You will offer all the correspondence you've sent to the various parties trying to make certain that the hearing would not be delayed, and the suggest that any delay in the absence of some credible evidence of harm to the child caused by you, unjustly injures your parenting rights, and that if a continuance is permitted, that the court set aside its temporary restrictions on your exercise of parenting.