Court outcome today okay, maybe my expectations were too high

[DecentDad]

Hi Soc,

Our hearing went almost an hour today, as judge really wanted to get into it.

GAL wasn't as favorable to me as he indicated.  He essentially said both parents are great, they just need help getting along.  He emphasized that child is not suicidal nor depressed, per psych's report.  He suggested easing back into overnights in my home.  GAL said that dad could list off plenty of good things about biomom, but biomom couldn't come up with anything good about dad.

OC was still on the warpath with overnights, my parenting, and all my supposed problems.

I didn't get much of a word in edgewise for the first half hour, as judge, GAL, and OC debated.  Judge kept telling me to hold off.

Judge lectured biomom and me to quit fighting, though all evidence shows that it has been HER doing it for the past year.

Judge felt that OC and GAL's desire to slowly re-introduce overnights are essentially penalizing Dad, who it turns out has done nothing wrong over the past couple months.

Judge said that monsters in closet is a parenting issue, not a matter for litigation.  He said that most kids have monsters in closets at one time or another.

Judge agreed with GAL and psych (as reported by GAL) that a huge part of the problem is that child still sleeps with biomom.

I asked judge if we could go to a 50/50 today, per evaluator's recommendation for summer 2006, and given that everything seems okay.

Judge said that he feels expanding child's time in father's home is likely and ultimately best for her, but it's not going to happen today.

I said that I can't comprehend how a parent can come into court and declare that a 6 year old is about to kill herself, causing all this chaos for a month, and that nothing happens when it's found to be false.  Judge said that's why I'll get some make-up time, but never came down on biomom for it.

So, we got the following orders today:

A) Child must sleep in own bed in both homes.

B) Child continues with the new psychologist (GAL and I agreed, OC didn't want this person).

C) We immediately return to previous parenting plan in full.

D) Parents go to another "try to get along" parenting course, specifically the one GAL recommends.

E) Dad gets an additional week of summer vacation.

F) GAL stays on to help act as intermediary between parents, if needed.

G) Dad picks up at school during weekdays, rather than 5pm.



I guess I was setting some higher expectations, but I walked out feeling disappointed-- that no one seems to recognize that biomom is the one who caused this whole thing, and NOTHING happened to her.

1.  Your thoughts on it?  I always appreciate your objective perspective.

[socrateaser]

>1.  Your thoughts on it?  I always appreciate your objective
>perspective.

OK, now just read what you wrote me and pretend it was some other poster who wrote it. You would say to yourself: "The judge told the mom that she's getting less than what she had, for coming into court with nothing. Mom's got to do more counseling, get the kid s separate bed, keep the kid in counseling, dad gets more summer more time during the week -- and the DAD IS COMPLAINING THAT HE DIDN"T GET MOM'S HEAD ON A PLATTER?"

The other posters are probably wondering why they can't get as good an outcome from their court.

So, you didn't get what you wanted. Consider what you would have written me had the judge sided with mom today.

You won, man (and you did it without hiring a lawyer, and against a represented opponent), so be happy about it.

[DecentDad]

.

[nala_mia8]

I just wanted to add something real quick... VERY FEW people leave court feeling like they "won", but once you take a step back, let the dust settle for a couple of days, you'll probably see that you did just fine.

DH had the same thing happen to him and he was told, "Family court isn't in the business of slamming one parent to the ground and punishing them like they do in other courts. They are in the business of keeping the peace." That made a lot of sense to me even though it was still hard to swallow the fact that BM basically got off scott free for her blatant illegal actions.

I've been following all your posts and I think you did fine.  :)

[Sherry1]

you represented yourself!  Get your head up and pat yourself on the back!

[Detter D]

I for one, appreciate your feelings about BM.

I am going through the same thing with BM and her doing
illegal stuff, but she never gets repromanded for it.....she
can do exactly what she wants and nobody seems to care
if it is true, or not....

I am pleased to see you did so well in court.....The court
in my case said we have to 'revisit' GAL, and that's ok,
but I do hope it ends up as good as yours did....

I won't go into my case, but am pleased to see you did well,
and wish you all the luck in the world,,,,,stay connected...
and as for my future with my children,,,,I will never give up

You are an inspiration to me and all the Fathers that love their children
and want full visitation with them.....