want custody of my daughter

[jazminesdaddy]

sry

[jazminesdaddy]

we lived in VA. we were married about 2 years and have a beautiful daughter. we seperated, i kicked her out of our home becasue she wouldn't get a jub, she constantly did drugs, and she couldnt keep the house clean and i was sick of it.
so after she had moves out, 6 months later she had a restaining order on me and it applied to the address on her license and she had me removed from my home, we signed note that she would take over all household responsibility
i was backed into a corner when she had me kicked out of our home and moved back to cali with my parents. my soon to be ex wife, hid from me with our daughter for apprx. 2 years. 1/2 year i knew they lived in our home but she changed the phone number and i wasnt able to call.
i spoke with her parents on a regular basis and they always refused to give me the number to contact my child at the house. they moved out of the house which was forclosed on because she made no house payment and didnt do a trasnfer of title so i am stuck with the bill,
 and the two payments she did make, she actually stole out of my mothers account and i have the police report, they didnt press charges because the $ was returned and it wasnt worth bringing her to CA for charges) thats a whole nother story.
 and then when i found her, i found out that she had moved across state line (nc). there was an order that she would retain temporary custody pending a custody hearing and it stated that she would notify me and the court if she moved, especially out of state.
 which of course she never did. she hasnt had a stable home since she left. and i got the proof off the internet i found 5 lists of addresses for her in the past 2 years. juristiction still resides in VA.
she has been with her boyfriend since before we split. he moved into my home with her when she took over the house.
he has a criminal record, i have one from false charges they filed against me( while i was still living there and had visitation on the weekends, she missed a dropoff time so i went to her house to see what happened, they were high and he held a gun to my head, then they collaberated a fake story,
 this is when the restarianing order was signed and i was kicked out of my hoime) and i stupidly took the advice from the lawyer i had at the time. my daughter calls the boyfriend daddy.
i have the papers my ex filled out to put Jazmine in pre school and she stated that if you ask my daughter her name she'll tell you her first name and the boyfriends last name.
she also stated that i and my family are "red flagged" and we are not aloud to pick her up from school.!!(not that i would, i live in CA and i would notify her if i wanted too). and that i dont have custody, when our most recent papers besides the new ones state that we share custody.

and keep in mind that i always paid my child support even when she hid from me. i was behind once, but caught up immediately. i squashed the child support order because why pay supprot for a kid you cant speak with and you dont know where she even is.
so i found out that she set up a date to go to court and see what happened to her child support. you know she came out of the woodworks when she no longer recieved money from me.
my mother and i flew out there to surprise her. the moment she saw us she started to cry and scream that i was going to take her child away from her. she looked horrible.
she looked like she was still on drugs. i had a visit that weekened i was there and she was 4 hours late. and i saw my daughter for the first time in 2 1/2 yeras. the first thing she said to me, and it continued for an hour or so, "you hit me and mommy" "you don't love us". it broke my heart.
she also stated in the school papers that the boyfriend was in the process of adopting jazmine. she also stated that i "abused her in every way possible, physically and emotionally. the boyfriend signed the papers as her father!!
we have a custody hearing in a bout a week. i'm asking for custody because i believe i can give my child a better life, i will encourage a healthy ongoing relationship with her mother, as she does not with me. i have a stable home and jazmine has a 1 year old brother here and soon to be step mother as soon as i can get divorced.
 i have been clean and sober since before we split. she has more family here then she does there. my ex uses our daughter as a meal ticket and it discusts me. by the way my fiancee had a convesation with the ex and the ex told my fiancee
 " he beat the crap out of me and my daughter and he'll do it to you" and then said "i'll never divorce him, you'll never marry him if i have something to do with it" i am supposed to have liberal telephone contact. she never answers the phone.
 i call on a calling card i use to call there, so i have every single phone call i have made to her on paper. i finally did have a visit this last christmas and my daughter told me some disturbing thigs.
 like the boyfriends son who lives with them" hit her alot and drank out of her cups "so they put him in a boys home! she syas she" sleeps in the boys room while he is gone because "there is yucky dog poop everywhere in her room". and she refers to my ex by her first name, not mommy.
the ex doesnt keep the house clean. she "doesnt have a vacuum "and "doesnt care about the floor"when she came to visit on xmas, the ex told me that jaz was sick and had croup so i took her to my sons pediatrician and he informed us that jaz had asthma, and prescribed her meds and inhalers.
when i told the ex ,she said when jaz got back home she would take her to a specialist. when i talked to the ex she said she took her and the docter said i was full of shit. i have the papers from when jaz went to this docter i called and requested her medical history.
it stated when she went for the check on her asthma that she wasnt on any medication. when i dropped jaz off with her mom i thouroughly explained the meds and told her she should finish the whole treatment. well she threw it out so by the time she got jaz to the docter she showed no symptoms.
 ive called the police 2 times to check on the welfare of my daughter because i havent been able to speak woth her. ive called social services beacuse of the things jaz told me and i wanted them checked out. i was denied both times. i have both reports from police and social services.

i also record all the conversations when they actually answer the phone and i always tell them its being recorded and they say"thats fine i dont care, you cant use it anyways" and i have 1 where i'm talking to the boyfriend and the ex is screaming in the backround how she's gonna pulle me in and out of court until jazmine is 18. and the start of the conversations are always, where the money . you owe me money.
 this last bout of support ive paid with cashiers checks and have retained the copies when she cashes them. she signs them all over to her boyfrien like she always has.
then she lied to her lawyer and the child support division in N. C. and told them that i havent paid her since sept last year when i have the proof.
and heres what she says she has going for her in the custody hearing. we faught a couple times. this one time she wouldnt stop and leave me alone. i went to other rooms to get away from her, she hit me for like an hour. she was provoking me so i finally did slap her with an open hand and she fell to the floor crying n stuff.
well she has some pictures that her father took. these pictures are from 5 or 6 years ago. shse never called the cops, never filed any reports. never left, and never feared for her life.we made up and continued with the marriage for another year and a half. and knowing she had these pictures kinda points out to me that she has had this all planned. you know.
well there is tons of other crap that goes along with this story. but im ssure your tired of reading by now. i have a new lawyer who has an excellent reputation. i paid her an arm and a leg to do this custody and then after that the divorce. she told me after getting my hopes up that i dont stand a chance of getting custody even with the evidence i have.

she told me that my ex can be a lying adultress mudering prostitute and still retain custody of our daughter. this really isnt fair and i dont see how i could at least have a good chance.
i belive my ex doesnt have a leg to stand on and all she has is that our daughter has resided with her for the last 2 years. there was no custody papers at the time of my daughters visit on xmas and i found out that the court likes to play the posession is 9/10's of the law game, so i could have kept my daughter and not sent her home, but i didnt.
so i guess i just want to ask you, what do you think? do you think i have a leg to stand on in court?
 i'm trying to be fair although my ex is not. i don't want to stoop to her level and play dirty like she does, but i feel i might have to.

the court obviously sides with the mother 99% of the time. i always here that the courts are not fair to dads and it doesnt matter how many show of causes i do it wont persuade the judge into modifying custody.

thanks in advance.

[socrateaser]

Hi. Thanks for trying to reformat your post. You still need to separate the paragraphs with blank lines in the future.

That being said, you are telling me lots of disorganized stuff, and I think it's important that you understand that the legal system requires a litigant to make the point and describe the evidence in a manner that can be digested easily. Failure to do this, will cause you to lose your case, no matter how good your case may be, because neither your attorney or the judge will want to sift through a pile of disorganized facts to try to find the elements necessary to prevail.

Now, to directly answer your question, I could rehash all the things that you have done, which have likely caused you to have a low probability of prevailing in a custody action, but that's all in the past, so it really doesn't matter now.

The blunt reality is that unless you can clearly and convincingly demonstrate that the other parent is affirmatively placing the child in harm's way, or the child is in severe emotional or phyisical distress, then you are probably wasting your time. It doesn't matter whether what you say is true or not -- what matters is what you can PROVE to the judge with credible independent and objective evidence.

At the moment, everything that you are claiming in your post is just your word against the other parent. This simply won't cut it. The court will not disturb the "status quo" of the child's living conditions unless there is compelling proof that the child is in harm's way or severe distress, and that is all there is to it.

This is not a conspiracy of the court being for mom's or against dad's. It's simply an acknowledgement that the court won't get involved until it's obvious that something is seriously wrong with the child's circumstances.

The parents' circumstances -- whether yours or the other parent -- is irrelevant unless the child is directly effected. And, at the moment, I find no evidence that would convince a court of what you claim to be true, therefore you will lose a custody action.

Moreover, by your moving 3,000 miles away, regardless of the reason(s), you have sabotaged your ability to gain any confidence from the court that the child's interests are you primary concern. So, if you want to get more custody/visitation/parenting, the first thing you must do is move back to where the child lives.

Otherwise, in my opinion, you're just wasting your time and money, because the court will view your actions as merely an attempt to reduce your child support obligations, rather than one intended to improve the child's emotional life or guidance.

Sorry to agree with your attorney, but unless you come up with a smoking gun, I think you're sunk.

[jazminesdaddy]

 
i

[jazminesdaddy]

i

[socrateaser]

>
>
>i printed out all the phone calls i have made to my daughter
>from
>
>february to now and i've called 91 times. i've spoken
>
>to my daughter 2 times.

The fact that you have evidence of calling doesn't prove you haven't talked to the child. The other parent could simply state that you were abusive on the phone so she terminated the call.

>
>i want to request that she and her boytoy, if possible, be
>drug tested.

You have to have evidence that they are habitual drug abusers, before the court will grant this request of your ex. The court has no authority to grant the request concerning the "boytoy," because he is not a party to this case.

>
>what about a polygraph

Polygraph is inadmissible unless both parties agree to its admission. Obviously, there's no reason for the other parent to agree, thus it's inadmissible.

>
>what about the cohabitation law in NC

I don't know this law, so I can't comment.

>
>what about all the recorded conversations i have of them
>telling me i dont have a right or paperwork "you dont have crap to be
>able to talk to your daughter" and if i want to talk to her i need to call
>my lawyer. i shouldn't need anything to talk to my daughter. and i have
>that recorded!

I don't know what your court order says about your right to communicate with the child, so I can't comment. As for what you "should" be able to do, you need to get over the idea that what you believe is right and wrong, has anything to do with what is lawful/unlawful.

Your rights in this matter are what the court grants you -- no more and no less. So, stand up like a man and deal with the reality of your circumstances, because if you don't, it will destroy you.

>i should just be able to talk to her PERIOD!!!!

In some parallel universe, perhaps so, but in this universe, what you believe you "should" be able to do is completely irrelevant. What matters is what the court says you "can" do. Nothing else.

>she is in harms way emotionally!! the way they make her
>believe all the crap they talk about me

This is merely your opinion. The other parent will have a different opinion. If you want to win in court, you need more than your opinion -- you need objective credible evidence.

>she is violating court order still by not letting me talk to
>our daughter.

I've not seen the court order so I can't comment. But, if she's violating the order and you have admissible recorded evidence, then file a motion for contempt and prove your case.

>still! its like she's the judge and what she says goes.

Venting is a waste of energy. I'm not a therapist and if you continue to vent on this board I will delete your posts without reading them. I don't like whiners and you are whining at me.

>and she violated it by moving across state line

If so, then file a contempt motion and prove your case.

>she basically kidnapped our daughter. i was a day away from
>reporting her missing when the other lawyer called and told me she
>was going to show up to court.

There is no "basically" kidnapping. Kidnapping is the (1) intentional (2)moving of another person (3) without consent or legal privilege. If the mother has legal custody, then she has the legal privilege to move the child. So, no kidnapping. Just annoying.

>she's been lying to our daughter and telling her that her
>boyfriend is her father!!

Prove it to the judge and ask for a restraining order to have the mother stop this behavior. Until you do, your complaints are useless except to raise your blood pressure.

>if that isnt mental anguish then just kill me now.

Homicide is not part of the services provided on this board. However, if the price is right, I can introduce you to someone named Georgio, who will be happy to give you an "accomodation." Making a deal with the devil is usually not advisable -- the devil usually wins.

>the ex got into a car accident, the car rolled over and she
>was seriously hurt. she told me our daughter wasnt in the car and our
>daughter piped up and said "yes i was, dont you remember mommie"

Prove it to the court. Your saying so is not credible evidence. If what you say occured, then there should have been an accident report from the police and that report would show that the child was in the car. But, the question is whether the accident was the mother's fault. If it wasn't, then that's not a reason to change custody, because accident's happen to everyone.

>she doesnt promote a healthy relationship between myself and
>our daughter.

This is your opinion. You need more than opinion to move the court.

>i understand that there about 9 things that a judge looks for
>that determine custody. i believe i fully qualify and have a shot.

I see. Well, as you have decided not to share them here, I would prefer it in the future if you would post in some other forum, because this forum is designed to help people win cases, not to provide a place for whining.

>i guess the long shot is that i deal with what i have now,
>summer and christmas visits, and then hope and pray that by the time
>jazmine turns 10 or so she realizes what kind of a person her mom is
>and wants to come live with me.

Hope springs eternal. But, in family court, a 10 year old will not be permitted to determine with which parent she will reside.

>i just want to cry. its so not fair

Life is not fair. Crying will not change this. If you want to have any sort of meaningful relationship with the child, then you need to move back to NC. That is your best shot and everything else is meaningless by comparison.

[jazminesdaddy]

your right about that. life isnt fair. bad things happen to good people,

and good things happen to bad people. good, honest people  get

the crappy end of the stick. can i write to like a lobbyist for fathers

rights in VA and complain about there system? i feel like i wanna call the

president and tell him how unfair the system is. she basically has kept

our child from me and she will get away with it and not be punished. all i

can regretfully hope for is that she dies or goes to jail. I shouldn't have

to move to be able to talk to my child. my fault for picking such a

childish girl. she changed the day after we married. i was in the navy

out there,

and i now understand that she had this planned the whole time. she was

even with this guy while i was out on 6 month trips. but i can't prove

that.

well thanks again socrateaser, (what a name), i will write to you when

we get back and tell you what happened. my daughter will accompany

us back home for her summer visit, hopefully coming home for good. i

pray every night for this.

[jazminesdaddy]

i got this and improvised from SPARC, is this legal? for me to send to her?

i plan on mailing these out tomorrow.

thanks again





From: Luc*
  To: *
  Date: July 11 2006

Re: Denial Of telephone Visitation

Dear ,

I'm sure you realize that I consider my time with Jazmine to be extremely special and valuable beyond measure. She is a part of my family, and these visits are an important part of all of our lives. It is unspeakable, the crime you have committed by withholding our daughter from me for 2 years. ANd then moving accross state lines with out notifying me, or the Portsmouth court. You will be held accountable for these actions and you will also be held accountable if you do not comply with court orders.

In our last hearing on this matter, visitation was ordered by the courts on this schedule:

reasonable and liberal telephone contact visitation.
We agreed on 3 times per week.Jazmine's bedtime is apprx. 8 pm, every night. And i am not to call to talk to Jazmine after this time.

In practice, however, you have failed to comply with this schedule and have put your own undue restrictions on it that are not in compliance with the court order. To demonstrate,I've included all days and times in the month of june 2006 and the beginning of July 2006 that I have called and which days you don't answer and the few times that you (actually your live in boyfriend,  * have answered:

*note- add 3 hours to get the current time in north carolina

June 4- called at 12:28 P.M., no answer
June 4- called at 12:30 P.M., no answer
June 11- called at 1:13 P.M., no answer
June 11- called at 2:16 P.M., no answer
June 13- called at 4:08 P.M., no answer
June 13- called at 4:10 P.M., no answer
JUne 18- called at 8:37 A.M., no answer
June 21- called several times as it was obvious that you were avoiding my phone calls
5:42 pm, 5:43 pm, 5:44 pm, 5:45 pm, 5:46 pm, 5:47 pm, 5:48 pm. all no answers.
June 21- called at 7:49 pm to speak with you regarding our daughter, no answer
June 21- called at 7:50 pm "                                                   "
June 22- called at 5:40 pm, no answer
June 22- called at 5:41 pm, answered and said you and Jazmine were up the street at your friends house. It was 8:41 pm north carolina time and you insisted to me before that Jazmine never stayed up past her bed time but i found  when i call and the few times *answers he says your up the street and it's always past Jazmine's bedtime.
June 23- called at 6:56 pm, no answer
June 24- called at 7:25 pm, no answer
June 24 - called at 7:26 pm, no answer
June 24- called at 7:33 pm, no answer
June 25- called at 8:39 am, no answer
June 26 is my birthday. I did't get to speak with my daughter on my bday
June 28- called at 6:39 am, no answer
June 28- called at 6:41 am, no answer
July 1- called at 10:49 am, no answer
July 1- called at 1:26 pm, no answer
July 4- called at 8:58 am, no answer
July 8- called at 7:32 am, no answer
July 8- called at 1:32 pm, no answer
July 8- called at 1:33 pm, no answer
July 9- called at 7:55 am, *answered and said you and Jazmine had spent the night at a friend's house, he stated he had 3 acres to mow and i could call back later in the day. the conversation was recorded, as all of them are. *sounded incoharent as usual.

Assuming that i was able to speak to my daughter for 15 min a day 3 times a week

Total time missed:  3 hours  

Reminder: Just as i have always told you when we speak, or i speak to your live in spouse at the time(including *THE CONVERSATION IS BEING RECORDED. ANd i will use it against you in a court of law, if applicable.

**** Your signature or your live in spouse's signature for the signed reciept of this letter and/or the copy signed reciept from your lawyer, * office,of this same letter, is an acknowledgment that you, your live in spouse, *, and Mr *8understand  that any/all conversations i hold with you or your live in spouse will be recorded.if at the time of any conversation i hold with you or your live in spouse at the time, i forget to verbally tell you or your live in spouse at the time, that the conversation is being recorded, you should automatically assume it is and everything you or your live in spouse at the time say can be used against you in a court of law.

 Because of your actions, I've had far less than my allotted telephone time with Jazmine.Your intentional failure to answer the telephone  makes it difficult on Jazmine, as she looks forward to speaking with me and i with her.

The conditions and restrictions you have placed on these telephone visits violate the court ordered schedule and are not acceptable. You have 30/31 days a  month to schedule activities for Jazmine as you see fit, please allow me to do the same with my telephone visitation days with Jazmine.

I'm willing to be flexible with the schedule (for example, when special events occur), but I expect reasonable advance notice and compensatory time every year during Jazmine's summer or christmas visits, which ever we can agree upon according to my documentation for each telephone call missed until Jazmine turns 18,(assuming i remain the NCP) . I also reserve the "right of refusal" on all such changes in the court ordered schedule. I hope that we can reach agreement on these issues without involving a third party, but understand that I will do whatever is necessary so I can spend my parenting time with Jazmine.


      Respectfully,

      Luca*


CC: Mar* my lawyer
CC: Bar* her lawyer
CC: Cyn * **circut county clerk of the court
     
 

[socrateaser]

>what about filing an ex parte. is it already too late for
>that. jazmine has
>
>already been taken out of the commonwealth.
>
>how come my ex isnt in trouble for moving across state lines
>without
>
>notifying me or the court?

If she's restrained from moving the child from VA, then you have a case for contempt. Otherwise, you don't.

>
>these are what a judge looks for in determing custody
>
>its off of  the code of virginia website
>
>1. The age and physical and mental condition of the child,
>giving due
>
>consideration to the child's changing developmental needs;
>
>---uh, well she needs her father in her life, a healthy male
>figure, not
>
>the drugged out loser she's calling daddy right now. she needs
>a mother
>
>who will get off her butt. Jazmine is so used to thier
>lifestyle she doesn't
>
>know any different, then laying around watching tv and playing
>video
>
>games. It's really sad, and not in any way the life i had
>planned on
>
>giving her.

All of your "facts" are just your opinion and none of them go to the factor that the court must consider here, which is the "child's" physical and mental state.


>
>2. The age and physical and mental condition of each parent;
>
>--she's still on drugs! you can tell by looking at her. her
>wieght has
>
>fluctuated every time i see her, she's fat, then skinny,then
>
>she has orange hair.always in and out of the hospital.
>everytime i talk to
>
>her its something new and she tells me shes on "heavy
>medication".
>
>while we were married she told me she was a manic depressive.
>in
>
>jazmines school papers she stated that she can't work because
>she's
>
>disabled. so i guess between child support and disability she
>doesn't
>
>have to work.

Unless you can prove that the mother has a history of drug abuse, you can't get the court to order her tested. Just "looking" at her will not cut it.

>
>3. The relationship existing between each parent and each
>child, giving
>
>due consideration to the positive involvement with the child's
>life, the
>
>ability to accurately assess and meet the emotional,
>intellectual and
>
>physical needs of the child;
>
>my ex bought her a game cube-jazmine was 4  at the time.
>jazmine
>
>also has a tv in her room!! she says that her mother never
>plays with
>
>her. and she never reads to her

Your word against the mothers. The court will disregard all of this. What the court will NOT disregard is the fact that the child's father moved 3,000 miles away. You lose this one, hands down.

>4. The needs of the child, giving due consideration to other
>important
>
>relationships of the child, including but not limited to
>siblings, peers and
>
>extended family members;
>
>--she has more family here, a brother, an aunt and uncle and 2
>cousins
>
>1 her age, and her great grandmother.on my exes side she has
>one
>
>uncle that is 16 and dropped out of high school. he told me
>this like 6
>
>months ago, and my ex mother and father in law.

The child's most important relationships are mother, father and friends. Family members are not important unless they are actively in the child's life. As they all live 3,000 miles distant, they cannot be active. You lose this one also, because you are too far away to be active in the child's life.


>
>5. The role that each parent has played and will play in the
>future, in the
>
>upbringing and care of the child;
>
>--my ex still doesnt work. she can't hold down a job. she
>depends on
>
>my child support, which she isnt supposed to. i'm the one that
>financially
>
>supports our daughter.  but i will be working if she lived
>with me. but
>
>she's ready to start kindergarden this coming year, so that
>shouldnt be
>
>a problem. while she was here i taught her to tie her shoes,
>how to ride
>
>a bike, and how to spell her name, and she memorized her home
>
>
>number and my home number. and we read every day. she's so
>smart.
>
>jazmine told me that she goes to the babysitters every day.
>even when
>
>her mother is home.

The facts you present do not tend to prove that you play a more significant role in the child's life than does the mother. You lose this one.


>
>6. The propensity of each parent to actively support the
>child's contact
>
>and relationship with the other parent, including whether a
>parent has
>
>unreasonably denied the other parent access to or visitation
>with the
>
>child;
>
>-----well this is a no brainer, yes she has unreasonably
>denied me
>
>access and visitation for the last two years.

I can't argue with this. You win this one.

>
>7. The relative willingness and demonstrated ability of each
>parent to
>
>maintain a close and continuing relationship with the child,
>and the
>
>ability of each parent to cooperate in and resolve disputes
>regarding
>
>matters affecting the child;
>
>---while jazmine was here visiting we always called her mom
>when she
>
>asked to call her. although my ex never answered the phone.
>and my
>
>ex only called 2 times to talk to jazmine while she was here.
>my ex
>
>keeps me in the dark about everything, from school to docters
>appt's
>
>she can't even have a civil conversation without her bringing
>up
>
>something that has nothing to do with talking about jazmine.
>she has no
>
>interest in letting me even be apart of jazmines life.

You live 3,000 miles away. You lose this one, because you cannot maintain a relationship from that distance.

>
>8. The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems
>the child to
>
>be of reasonable intelligence, understanding, age and
>experience to
>
>express such a preference;
>
>well i know she would be scared to leave her mom. but i also
>know what
>
>my ex has told her to purposely make Jazmine scared of me and
>every
>
>time i talk to her or see her the first while is spent on
>telling her how
>
>much i love her and miss her. and i hate having to convince my
>own
>
>child to like me. but i can't help but do it, sometimes i just
>ignore the
>
>little remarks she makes because i know its her mom talking,
>not her.
>
>and she's probably will be found to be to young to make such a
>hard
>
>desicion. she shouldnt have to make that kind of desicion.
>sometimes i
>
>think it would be best if i just left her alone and let her
>turn into her
>
>mother.

The child is far too young to be able to form an opinion about where to live. The court will ignore this factor.


>
>9. Any history of family abuse as that term is defined in §
>16.1-228. If
>
>the court finds such a history, the court may disregard the
>factors in
>
>subdivision 6; and
>
>well i know she's going to base alot on those pictures she has
>of a black
>
>eye. but it'll make her credibility look worthless when she
>says that she didn't
>
>leave, she never feared for her life or our daughter's(i had
>visitation
>
>when i was still there until i moved, she never kept her from
>me besides
>
>the time she didnt show up for the drop off, and she sent
>jazmine out to
>
>visit me in california) and she never filed a police report or
>even called
>
>the police for that matter.
>
>me, she wouldnt have if she were "so scared of me", ya know.

It's common for abused spouses to not leave the relationship. Your facts do not support the existence or nonexistence of an abusive relationship. The court will likely ignore this factor unless there is some other evidence.

>10. Such other factors as the court deems necessary and proper
>to the
>
>determination.
>
>well i know she's a thief and lyer and i have the police
>report to prove it.
>
>no she wasn't charged, but if she ever steps foot in CA dirt
>she can be
>
>arrested on a "re-activated" warrent.
>
>so what do you think? do i have some hope now? i mean i won';t
>feel
>
>any better about my daughters emotion health and living
>situation until i
>
>at least give it a try. and i've been waiting 2 years for july
>20th, i had to
>
>hire a second attorney becasue the first one couldnt do it he
>was so
>
>dam lazy.
>
>California has better weather, better schools, our crime rate
>here is  
>
>pretty low.
>
>i am going to start a college fund for my daughter. i am
>positive that wont
>
>even be on my exes mind until shes ready to graduate high
>school. and
>
>she's probably counting on me or her boyfriend to foot the
>bill anyways
>
>i can control legal costs in the courts by actually abiding by
>the rules and
>
>making sure she has healthy ongoing relationships with all her
>mom and
>
>her family.  does any of this even matter? i am just wasting
>my time
>
>probably. i'll stop here. thanks again in advance

These facts are mostly irrelevant. The court simply will not upset the status quo of the child's life without great weight of evidence against the other parent, demonstrating that the child is in harm's way or physical/emotional distress.

If the child has not been in counseling and neither parent has had a home study with a report to the court on the evalulator's opinion as to the relative abilities of the parents as daily caretakers, then my friend, unless some really juicy evidence surfaces prior to trial, you are toast, in my opinion.

I simply don't see a case here for you to receive primary custody.

[socrateaser]

Is it legal? I don't know what you mean. It doesn't provide you with any useful evidence or authority, if that's what you're thinking.

I suggest that you don't send it, because the way you word it, makes you appare quite hostile and courts hate hostile and vindictive parents. You would be FAR better off to show the court that you are only interested in the child's best interests, even if you never see the child again. That is the sort of selfless behavior that will get the judge's attention.

Anyone can be angry. Few can be altruistic.