BM making false claim of domestic violence in Discovery

[dadinva2006]

BM finally turned in her discovery and I received it yesterday. I couldn't beleive what I was reading. Her main claim as to why she should receive custody is because I was "Physically abusive to her in front of our daughter" and I am "aggressive". This is completley false!

She was extremely physically and verbally abusive in our relationship. She would scratch me, pinch me, kick me, spit in my face and hit me. I never layed a hand on her except to push her off of me when I was being attacked. She has even physically attacked my mother and my younger sister when she was living with me. I can't beleive she is trying to turn this abuse around on me.

She is also claiming that I hit my current wife and under the section for witnesses she is bringing her best friend who claims she has seen me hit my wife. This is so ridiculous and stressful. Her "friend" has seen me and my wife together twice (once at my daughters birthday party, and once recently when I dropped my daughter off with her mom) both for a period of 5 minutes. She also stated that her friend received phone calls from her (BM) when we were together of her crying as I hit her and she has seen the bruises. I can't beleive her friend would lie like this.

BM stated she has no reason to believe I am abusive towards our daughter but she worries that as our daughter gets older and more independent I may abuse her because I am "too possesive". There are several other lies as well, but this is the one of main concern because it is a serious false accusation.

1. What can I do to prove these allegations false since she is bringing a "witness" who is going to lie about seeing this?

2. Will my wife testifying that I have never lied a hand on her help?

3. Will my family testfying that she was in fact the aggressor help at all?

4. How else can I prove these allegations false?

[socrateaser]

>1. What can I do to prove these allegations false since she is
>bringing a "witness" who is going to lie about seeing this?

Submit to a polygraph exam on each and every negative allegation and offer it into evidence. The other party must agree to allow it into evidence, and if opposing counsel objects, ask to put your spouse on the witness stand and inquire directly as to what she knows about polygraphs and why she would seek to keep out relevant evidence on a legal technicality.

>
>2. Will my wife testifying that I have never lied a hand on
>her help?

Probably not. You need a third party witness with no stake in the proceedings. On the other hand, if your spouse brings a witness who's her friend to testify, then that witness' testimony is also suspect, because of her relationship to your spouse. It just means that your attorney needs to do a good cross exam and expose the witness' biases.

>
>3. Will my family testfying that she was in fact the aggressor
>help at all?

If you have no one else, then you have little to lose in trying to rebut the testimony. However, the polygraph gambit is more powerful. Judges know that no one can beat the machine, so a refusal to admit an exam into evidence generally means that the person refusing is probably falsifying allegations.

>
>4. How else can I prove these allegations false?
>
See above. You could also ask that the court appoint a therapist to determine if the child believes that she has witnessed any of the alleged events, and whether or not it has had any effect on the child.

The goal of these sorts of abuse allegations is to get you emotionally torn up so you can't think straight about your case. Sometimes, just your testifying in court, like this: "I'm really saddened by my spouse's characterizing me as a monster, and I regard her allegations as blatent lies. However, I hope that the court investigates thoroughly, and if it finds any truth in these allegations, then I would want the court to do what's necessary to protect my child. On the other hand, if the court finds the allegations without merit, I hope that the court severely sanctions my spouse for her bad behavior."

The point is that most judges expect spouse's to lie about everything, and they further expect that the parents will try to use the children as bargaining chips. So, you need to remove that motivation from the other parent's arsenal of weapons, by showing that you are NOT interested in your own welfare, and that all you care about is the child's.

Obviously, if the other parent is an abuser, then you should want the court to investigate this, too. But, remember, if you cannot prove something with objective credible evidence, then it doesn't really matter whether you allege it or testify to it, because the court's not gonna consider it. Same goes for your opponent.

So, if you want to allege abuse by the other parent, then the best thing is to also request that the court appoint experts to try to determine the reliability of the allegations of both parties, and once again, scientifically, when there really aren't any good witnesses, a polygraph can determine truth from fiction better than any witness. It's just not admissible as a matter of law unless both parties agree to it -- but sometimes, the refusal by a party to admit a polygraph or to submit to an exam, is just as damaging as the exam results -- even though the finding won't necessarily show up in the court record.

[dadinva2006]

Thank you for your response. Am I worrying about this claim more than I should? If the only "evidence" she has is her best friend's false testimony I would think that would be kind of suspect. I am interested to see when and where her friend is going to claim I was "abusing" my wife since she has only seen us together twice and for a few minutes each time in public places. You said I would need a "third party with no stake" in the proceedings, but wouldn't my family fall on the same level as her best friend as far as objectiveness?

I love the idea of a polygraph, but unfortunatly I don't have thousands of dollars to spend on that. My pockets are already emptyfrom attorney's fees.

I am waiting for her lawyer to send me discovery so I can answer similar questions.

[socrateaser]

>Thank you for your response. Am I worrying about this claim
>more than I should?

Probably. The allegations are designed to cause you to take your eye off the ball. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that this is anything more than just business. Repeat it to yourself in the shower: "It's just busness." If you do, you'll feel better, and it will allow you to rise above the emotion of the moment, which in the end will make you better able to survive the ordeal.

>If the only "evidence" she has is her best
>friend's false testimony I would think that would be kind of
>suspect. I am interested to see when and where her friend is
>going to claim I was "abusing" my wife since she has only seen
>us together twice and for a few minutes each time in public
>places. You said I would need a "third party with no stake" in
>the proceedings, but wouldn't my family fall on the same level
>as her best friend as far as objectiveness?

Yep. From the judge's perspective, everyone's full of crap, unless they have no stake in the outcome.

>
>I love the idea of a polygraph, but unfortunatly I don't have
>thousands of dollars to spend on that. My pockets are already
>emptyfrom attorney's fees.

No one said divorce is cheap. It's probably the single most emotionally and financially expensive thing that will ever happen to you. General advice: don't get married, unless your spouse has at least twice your assets, and the amount is more than one million dollars.

That way, if you must divorce again, at least there will be enough money to make fighting worth the emotional strain.

Nevertheless, if you want to wreck your opponent's case, then the polygraph is the way to go.

[dadinva2006]

Thank you for the advice. Just as a side note, BM and I were never married. We split up when my daughter (now 4) was 18 months. She was living with me primarily until her mother moved out of state January of this year with our daughter and refused to let me see her which is why I filed the custody case. I got married back in May of last year to a wonderful supportive woman who is stuck by my side through all this bs with BM.
BM's "witness" is claiming I not only abused BM, but she has also seen me abuse my current wife. Both complete lies.