show cause for C/S

[Mamacass]

Court ordered me to pay c/s starting 04/03.  In 05/04 my ex and I came to an agreement outside of court that we would share joint custody, with the child spending 2 weeks with us then 2 wks with her.  We also agreed that neither party would request child support to the other and she agreed to cease the request for child support.  
She said she didn't want to go through the courts, and I was afraid that if I pushed the issue she would change her mind.  Instead, we made a contract which we eached signed and we had it notarized.  She also acknowledged the arrangement in a letter she wrote to me 11/05.
Now I have filed for (and won) custody, and in turn she has filed a show cause for c/s in arrears since 5/04.  

1.  How much weight does the notarized agreement carry with the court?  (Is it enough to have the show cause dismissed?)

2.  If the court orders me to pay back c/s, can it be adjusted since it was calculated to include child care, which she hasn't paid since around 5/04?

3.  Will the courts subtract for expenses I have paid?  (I have some receipts for clothes I purchased for my son for my house and for her house.  Also, my son has attended daycare since 5/04, but I paid the bill.)

[socrateaser]

>1.  How much weight does the notarized agreement carry with
>the court?  (Is it enough to have the show cause dismissed?)

Parents cannot bargain away their child's right to support. Because A contract which bargains for the parties' minor child's right to support is unenforceable as against public policy. You and your ex entered into exactly such a bargain, thus you cannot enforce her agreement to waive child support, and you are now in arrears for all unpaid child support since 05/04.

However, because you relied to your detriment on your ex's voluntary relinquihment of the child into your care, your ex can be equitably estopped from enforcing the judgment to the extent that you actually supported the child in her absence (assuming you can prove the amount of actual support she relinquished).

The net result is that your arrears will be reduced to the amount of support that you would have owed, had the original order been based on the terms of the contract.

Unfortunately, that will still likely leave you with a substantial arrearrage.

>2.  If the court orders me to pay back c/s, can it be adjusted
>since it was calculated to include child care, which she
>hasn't paid since around 5/04?

See below...

>
>3.  Will the courts subtract for expenses I have paid?  (I
>have some receipts for clothes I purchased for my son for my
>house and for her house.  Also, my son has attended daycare
>since 5/04, but I paid the bill.)

If you can prove that you paid the child care directly, then your ex can be equitably estopped from enforcing the judgment for these amounts, because you relied to your deteriment on her placing the child in your care, causing you to pay the daycare support directly, rather than to your ex.

As for the amounts that you paid for the child's necessities, to the extent that you could show that, but for your reliance on your ex's relinquishment of the child into your care, that you would not have had to pay for those necessities, then you can estop your ex from enforcing the judgment in these amounts as well.

This will be a lot more difficult to prove, however.

In sum, you're still probably gonna be stuck with a pretty awful bill. But, you can ask the court to offset your arrears against your ex's new support obligation, which hopefully you will request that the court order against her.

[mistoffolees]

Your suggestion of tallying up what he actually spent in child support certainly seems reasonable. 

Is there, however, another alternative? Could he effectively say to the court "we changed the custody arrangements in 04. Given the new custody arrangements, the court ordered child support SHOULD HAVE been xxxx (might be particularly valid in the states which used fixed methods of calculating support). If his income is similar to the wife's, it might come out fairly neutral. 

If they could do this, it might be much better for him than actually trying to tally grocery expenses, etc. It would certainly be more fair (to whatever extent justice actually enters the equation).

I realize that courts don't like to do anything retroactively, but they were acting on the basis of shared custody, so maybe it's not completely impossible?

[williaer]

And now it becomes crystal clear why she "didn;t want to do it through the courts"....always something, right?

[socrateaser]

>I realize that courts don't like to do anything retroactively,
>but they were acting on the basis of shared custody, so maybe
>it's not completely impossible?

Retroactive modification of a child support obligation prior to the date of filing of the motion to modify or order to show cause is prohibited by federal law.

My suggestions are based on what the court is permitted to do within the confines of due process and federal law. There are no other alternatives.

[socrateaser]

>And now it becomes crystal clear why she "didn;t want to do
>it through the courts"....always something, right?

Yes, the obligee parent apparently knew what the law requires and the obligor did not. Ordinarily this would be the sort of fraud that would invalidate a contract. Unfortunately, the contract is already invalid and that fact doesn't help the obligor parent.

Where family law is concerned, ya hafta have the court involved -- there is just no way around it.

[mistoffolees]

I guess that's why people are taking advice from you and not me....

I wasn't aware of that obviously. Thanks for the information.