Advice

[adrastea]

I live in South Carolina.My question is in reguards to a court order from family court.I have custody of my daughter.My ex wife has twice a month supervised visits.I was ordered to have a psychological evaluation along with my ex wife my new wife and my child.

My ex has to pay for hers only and I have to pay for the other 3.I asked my lawyer  if he could postphone a october hearing because i can not finacially afford the cost.i was given a mere 2 months to come up with the total cost.$2000.

The evaluations were only ordered because my ex is claiming a change of circumstances and wants unsupervised visits.She was ordered to be supervised based on a earlier evaluation when CPS took the child from her.This was the 2nd time they removed my daughter from her.


The first time she was sent back to her Mom saying CPS didnt follow protocal.CPS went back and took her from my ex less then 4 months later.I was awarded full custody.

My lawyer is refusing to file for a extension saying Pack her up and bring her back then if you cant afford it.How can a Judge order expensive evaluations knowing that I cant afford it and am I in contempt because I cant afford them?


What are my options?

[socrateaser]

>What are my options?

Well your first option is to not include your new spouse in the evaluation process. You can say that your spouse has refused to submit to an eval, because she doesn't want to absorb the undue burden or expense, and as she is not a party to the case between you and your ex spouse, your new spouse cannot be court ordered to submit to the evaluation.

So, that should save you $666, assuming a three way split of your costs.

Seriously though, you have full custody now and your ex spouse will be ordered to pay support. I don't know if you'll ever actually get any support, but at least she will be ordered to pay.

Get out your credit card and take a cash advance; borrow or pawn something or make arrangements for payments to the evaluator if possible. But don't screw up this opportunity because you will be kicking yourself in the ass later if you end up having to send the child back to the other parent.

[adrastea]

i need to explain somethings my ex wife has accused my new wife of alot of things from drug use to harrassment.She has even acused my Mother of harrassment. The people that supervise the vists are friends of my ex wife.

They all go to church together and are paying my ex wifes legal fees.Her Lawyer told the  Judge this.A different Judge one not familer with this case ordered the evals.My cost is 750 for mine 750 for my new wife and 450 for my child.

My new wife has 2 children that i support fully their father is not in their lives.I dont have credit cards a bank account or any way to get a loan.This custody battle has been going on for 3 yrs.I had a eval before and it only stated that my daughter needed to be returned to me ASAP.

My ex wife's eval was a whole different story.The eval Stated she needed extensive  therapy anger management  different meds ect ect.It also stated that in the evals opinion that the child should never be alone with her.

My daughter is in counsling and even on meds.They say she is borderlined post tramatic stress and she suffers from anxiety related to the visits with her mom.They stated that overnights needed to be stopped but the GAL didnt agree.

The GAL  has been to my ex wifes home has even dropped in on her visits with notice to my ex before a visit.He refuses to come to our home or even sit in on a counsling session.He will not meet with her teachers or doctor.

The last evals we all summited to are a little over a yr old.My ex does not pay support .i do recieve a very small SSI check of 135 a month.My ex is dissabled and doesnt draw much for herself.

I am paying for daughters medical expenses with a payment plan.I had to get a different vehicle because of the extensive trips out of town for court and visits.I am ordered to provide transportation for 1 visits.The court and juristiction for my case is 4 hrs away in the same state. The GAL is 5 hrs away.

My expenses sometimes far exceed my income.I told my lawyer i could not afford in the alloted time frame of 6 weeks to come up with the type of money I need for the evals.I could have it if I stop paying rent let them repo the vehicle which is almost paid for remove my BD from counsling ect ect.

I have sold every non essential need from our home from earlier hearings to pay legal bills.All I need is more time but my lawyer is refusing to ask for it.He says we need to remain the good guys in this.I have done everything and everything he states to me

I have given my ex more time during a visit extra visits even offering to bring my ex here for school thingsI get repaid with a cussing out over the phone.I have done both visits in a month bent over backwards to rearrange work and schedules to accomidate my ex .I even bought BD a whole wardrobe to have at her Moms because BM refused to let her wear the clothes i sent.

Its not that we dont want to do the evals I just need more time to be able to afford them and post phoneing 1 hearing and rescheduling it after the holidays doesnt seem like a lot to ask for considering what my ex has asked for in the past.

I am already kicking my self in the ass for returning her to her Mom when we originally seperated and I had my daughter for 5 months,kicking myself in the ass for returning her the 2nd time because a judge said CPS didnt follow protocal.CPS followed it a few short months later when they took my daughter with a ex parte order and she spent 5 months in 4 different foster homes.

[socrateaser]

I think maybe you're misunderstanding me. You don't need to defend your position in this forum. You need to find the money to pay to defend your position in court.

You say a group of church members has raised money for your ex spouse's legal fees. Go to your church and ask for similar help. Use what is happening for your ex as a rationale to justify why your church should help you.

Or, go to her church and address the entire congregation and tell them that you think it highly unfair that they are dedicating their funds to supporting one parent's case in preference to the other.

Tell them, "God doesn't take sides where an innocent child's interests are at stake." If you don't have the courage to confront your opponent, you will be vanquished. That is the way of the world since time began.

I realize that this is difficult, but it doesn't matter. We've all been in similar shoes as yours. That's why we're here.

You can complain that you don't have the money, or you can find it somewhere. The goal is to win, and you must do whatever you can do legally to accomplish the goal.

BTW, I am serious when I say that the court cannot order your current spouse to submit to an eval. She can refuse, because she's not a party to the case. Certainly the court may consider the refusal in making any final custody orders, but regardless, you can buy some money by conducting the eval on yourself and your child, and then waiting until someone complains that there's no report on your spouse.

If your spouse refuses to cooperate, no one can do anything to force her.