Sparring over doctor appointments

[dipper]

Soc,

We are in Virginia.  June of this year I was given primary custody of my 14 year old son.  We share joint legal with absolutely NO Specifics given on this...simply says joint legal.  IN fact, I previously asked ex to agree to some specifications and she ignored my request.

Since I took custody, I have found out that my ex was not taking son to counseling appts and that his case had been closed due to that.   Also, she did not take son to dentist in two years - even though he complained of chipped teeth for months.  (I could not do this on weekends as none are open).

I work a job that is 4 days a week, 10 hours a day....attendance is rather strictly enforced.  Any appts for son I can make on Friday - I make.  I have signed a limited power of attorney for my spouse so that she may take son to appts that I would otherwise need to take off for.  My spouse has a job with numerous personal and sick days as well as being on the same time schedule as the children.

Son has lots of appts between dental, counseling, health related, probation officer, and appts out of state to burn hospital.  

Son hurt his hand a couple of days ago - swoll in one area near thumb.  School nurse called my wife and told her that it did not appear broken, but an x-ray would be best.  Wife made appt locally and took son.  No bones were broken, soft tissue damage, and put in a brace for a week.

Today son called bm and told her about his hand.  She called me tonight to fuss that she was not notified IMMEDIATELY and to fuss about my wife taking him.   She said that if I cannot do so, then she is to be notified to drive two hours here to take him as he is OUR son....not wife's.

BM also told son that she will pick him up from school for his check-up on hand next week and take him herself.  

BM appears to be very jealous of my wife.  Son's counselor has told bm that my wife does have a place in son's life during ex's rant about my wife.    

BM's motives are NOT for son's welfare but simply to keep wife from taking any part.  

Son's check-up appt is during the week - when bm does not have visitation.  Also, we are paying all copays up to $250.

Soc, I do not want to keep her out of his appts as she has done to me.  I simply do not see the need in letting her dictate to us who can and cannot take son to doctor.  She is welcome to attend appts, but as she has a history of not telling me things, I feel uncomfortable with letting her be the one to take him to appts alone.  As he lives with us, I feel we need to know everything going on.

The focus should be on son's health needs are being met, in my opinion.

Legally, can bm keep my wife out of appts though wife has a signed power of attorney from me and we are paying bills?


If BM makes a scene, what can we seek to have her kept away from further appts as this would be the fourth time atleast she has made a public scene?

[socrateaser]

>Legally, can bm keep my wife out of appts though wife has a
>signed power of attorney from me and we are paying bills?

No. Your POA delegates your custodial authority to wife, which puts her on an even playing field with bm, unless you overrule wife, who must act in you and your child's best interests.

>
>
>If BM makes a scene, what can we seek to have her kept away
>from further appts as this would be the fourth time atleast
>she has made a public scene?

Yes, but, not without a court order. Voluntary cooperation between parties would be preferable (obviously).