Spreading spite to others

[dipper]

Soc,

We are in VA.  Son has been court ordered to perform community service.  I an CP.  I requested bm (ncp) to allow son to do a few hours of community service on her time.  At first she balked, but then agreed.

Last Saturday, I had arranged for son to do service and she agreed to bring him for it.  It rained heavily the night before and there wasnt much he could do.  She did not want to pick son up in two hours, so man in charge told her that he would check into giving son two hours for showing up.

Son said that bm stated to him and her boyfriend that this was not right.  She did not say anything to man in charge.

Yesterday, probation officer got a call from bm telling her that man had said he would give son 8 hours time though he worked none.   We were not home until late, po did try to call us.

Man told us about it today....saying that he never gave son anytime for that day as he would have to ask po permission to put even two hours down for showing up.

now, man is older and while he had hours correct, he had gotten off on his dates that son worked for him.  We had kept our own record.

BM says she 'turned him in' because son needs to be held responsible for his court problems and perform his community service.  I feel that if she was telling the truth, she could have held him accountable by telling the man not to put down anything........

In my opinion it is an attempt to have son's service disqualified to get us all in trouble and reflect back on me ultimately.

Soc, I was not there but I believe son and the man in what was said.  He has not offered this to me at any time and this was the first time he ever met her.  He has done this for years and never had anyone say this before.

Should we try to show po what we believe are bm's true motive - spitefulness or would that be considered too defensive?

Would it be appropriate to ask PO to contact counselor as he feels bm is the source of son's issues and could give insight into the type of person she is?

[socrateaser]

>Should we try to show po what we believe are bm's true motive
>- spitefulness or would that be considered too defensive?

I think you should just let it go. I also think that your son should actually do the community service -- two hours for showing up may be appropriate for a real world work environment, where you're offerred a job for pay and the employer screws up. But this is not employment, it's punishment, and the kid needs to know that there are consequences for actions that violate the law.

[dipper]

Soc,

Son is not getting the two hours.  Man was going to ask po before doing so....and bm could have just told him not to even do that.  After all, she was the parent with son.

As for letting it go, I will be prepared for PO appointment, but I will not bring anything up myself.