Visitations

[misslisa1017]

Hi,

My son and his ex had a baby about 4 months ago. She pretty much has refused him any time with his son till a paternity test was done, and he sent her a certified letter requesting such.

He's now seen his son twice, but always with her there. She told him the other day unsupervised visits won't be allowed by her until the baby is over a year old.

First time she came over it was with her mom, it wasn't too bad a visit, second time she showed up with her new bf and he was very verbally abusive to my son.

My son did send her a certified letter again, this time requesting unsupervised visits with his son, and let her know the bf acted very inappropriate and that his presence is no longer allowed in our home.
She told him no, the visits will always be supervised by me. I'm not comfortable with you being alone with the baby.


What he's concerned about is that now that he's allowing the visits to be supervised,  

1.will they remain supervised once he goes to court and asks for unsupervised visitation at the custody and visitation hearing?

He did ask his own lawyer this and she said that being he wasn't in the baby's life the first four months, even though it wasn't his fault that the court would want to have supervised visits in the beginning. Just to ease the childs comfort level.

But by the time he gets to court for the visitation, she could request unsupervised, being he's doing supervised now.

Thanks for your time.

[socrateaser]

>1.will they remain supervised once he goes to court and asks
>for unsupervised visitation at the custody and visitation
>hearing?

You should ask the court for a plan that starts with supervised visitation by a THIRD PARTY -- not the mother, so that the supervisor can make an unbiased report to the court and then move to unsupervised visitation.

This is all typical mommy control instinct at work. You can't take it personally, or it will drive you nuts. The court isn't going to just let you take the kid until you show that you can behave like a proper parent, because if something bad happens, the judge will get splattered all over the media and will lose his/her seat in the next election.

If you want to grovel and beg the mom, so that she may break down her defenses and agree to allow unsupervised parenting, then go for it. You've got nothing to lose but some temporary self esteem.

Just don't let it go to your head, because ultimately the object is to maximize custodial time and minimize child support payments.

[misslisa1017]

I have to be honest with you, my sons ultimate object is to just spend time with his son in the least hostile environment possible.  His dad wasn't around much so he knows how terrible that feels.

Her family usually = a hostile environment. But he's willing to deal with that for now if that's what is expected.

 I'll let him know about asking about a third party for supervision. Would this have to be someone court appointed?

His lawyer was going to go with having me as supervising because my son still lives at home.

Thanks for answering my questions.

[socrateaser]

>I have to be honest with you, my sons ultimate object is to
>just spend time with his son in the least hostile environment
>possible.  His dad wasn't around much so he knows how terrible
>that feels.
>
>Her family usually = a hostile environment. But he's willing
>to deal with that for now if that's what is expected.
>
> I'll let him know about asking about a third party for
>supervision. Would this have to be someone court appointed?

No, the parties can agree on a supervisor. There are private companies that do this in some jurisdictions. In others, the government may have something set up. But, you need the court to order it, if you want it to be mandatory so that the other parent can't change her mind whenever she pleases.