S.P.A.R.C.

Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center
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Cancel? cancel what? he never commits to anything...
he has had the same job and although his 2 days off may vary, he always has Sunday off which is his visitation day and if he doesn't have Sunday, he has Saturday.
He has no other kids he needs to spend time with
he just is not quite there I guess
I told him that we had an IEP meeting. He said "I work at that time". i work too but I attended. I said "I can't spend any more money on a Math tutor. he said "I will work with him". he said tat on a Thursday and he was talking about meeting on Saturday or Sunday. Then he changed it to possibly the following week or the week after. C'mon....kids has a need NOW...not whenever he wants
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Visitation Issues / Re: how do you learn to deal with NCP's inconsistent contact?
« Last post by ocean on Oct 20, 2020, 03:06:54 PM »
What does the NCP say when you ask if he is coming to get child lately? Maybe offer once a month schedule? First Saturday of each month....can he commit to that? Really have to find out the reasons, back to work? Do not tell child he will be coming each visit so his hopes are not up that he will show up. Tell NCP that if he needs to cancel any visit , you need xx hours unless emergency so you are not talking up the vist, only for him not to show.
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Visitation Issues / how do you learn to deal with NCP's inconsistent contact?
« Last post by balleros on Oct 18, 2020, 01:12:33 PM »
My son is 9 and his biological father was 100% absent until he was 8. Then with Covid 19, he started to see him on frequent basis. he was seeing him weekly which is what our visitation agreement say. From March to September, they had started to connect.There was a dead in his family at the end of September and that's when his father stopped visits and contact. I respected his need for space at the beginning. Then I started to get pissed. Anyway, besides therapy, has anyone found a solution to not caring about inconsistent visits?
I mean this is not good for my son but I am in two minds between closing the door and allowing these inconsitencies
tips? ideas?

thanks
4
Virginia State Forum / Being punished for being mentally ill
« Last post by babydiamond1 on Sep 27, 2020, 06:15:28 PM »
I am new to VA from NJ. I have been driving over 350 miles each way for the past 3 years on supervised visits because I was hospitalized 3 times within that timeframe. I have never abused nor neglected my children but my sister now claims that she is afraid of me so the children can't come to my apt in VA. I have never done anything to her since we had an altercation that she started  4 years ago and reported it as domestic violence in order to relocate my children 1 year after the event. She dropped the restraining order after she was awarded the relocation but I am wondering now will I ever get unsupervised parenting time especially since I was just hospitalized in late July- August 10, 2020.
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Father's Issues / Baby nail clippers
« Last post by kimimiles on Sep 25, 2020, 11:45:41 AM »
Looking for advice on how to use baby nail clippers?
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Dear Socrateaser / Re: Can Reunification Therapy help stop Parental Alienation
« Last post by Waylon on Sep 21, 2020, 02:30:25 PM »
I brought this issue to the GAL and she told me that I need reunification therapy and she gave me a list of reunification therapists in my area (WA). I spoke with a couple of them and they say that they can’t stop my ex from alienating. They said they will be able to help me to have a relationship with my kids only by therapeutic support to me and my ex.
That's essentially it- you can't stop her behavior (usually) but you can offset it with therapy and positive reinforcement. PA is bad stuff, though.

I'd definitely recommend the book "Divorce Poison" by Dr. Richard Warshak, which has a lot of good info on Parental Alienation.
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Dear Socrateaser / Can Reunification Therapy help stop Parental Alienation
« Last post by maybenut on Sep 19, 2020, 08:37:40 AM »
I have two kids 2 and 3. After 2 years of not being able to see my boys at all, I was finally able to start seeing them after GAL got involved. Last few visits, my 3 year old has said some pretty disturbing things to me during supervised visits such as:
“Don’t touch me!” While saying this he clinched his little fists and said it with conviction.
“I’m just going to play by myself.” He said this at the beginning of a visit, as soon as he saw me.
“You’re a bad man! I will kill you!”
While eating breakfast, in the beginning of a visit, he said to his mom: “I’m going to get to work, and we'll keep pressure.”
“No need to touch me” You’re bad” “You hurt my mommy!”
"You’re not my dad, my grandpa is my dad.”
“It’s possible to only love mommy!” after I told him that I’m his dad.

I brought this issue to the GAL and she told me that I need reunification therapy and she gave me a list of reunification therapists in my area (WA). I spoke with a couple of them and they say that they can’t stop my ex from alienating. They said they will be able to help me to have a relationship with my kids only by therapeutic support to me and my ex.
I want to follow GAL’s recommendations, since she’s supposed to be an advocate for the kids and I’m assuming she’s recommending what’s best for them. My lawyer says reunification therapy is expensive and I shouldn’t try it, for now.
Has anyone had experience with something similar?
All suggestions and thoughts will be appreciated.
Thanks guys!
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Chit Chat / Re: SPARC Suggested Reading List
« Last post by maybenut on Sep 19, 2020, 08:06:30 AM »
Yeah, so I thought! My lawyer recently told me that the first case decided solely based upon PAS in my state (WA) was 2 months ago. If you are right, then I guess WA is behind on keeping themselves updated
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Chit Chat / Re: SPARC Suggested Reading List
« Last post by Waylon on Sep 19, 2020, 07:24:02 AM »
PAS has been recognized for quite a while now. The material in the reading lists should still valid and useful, if a bit dated.
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Chit Chat / SPARC Suggested Reading List
« Last post by maybenut on Sep 19, 2020, 07:22:37 AM »
Anyone know when the suggested reading list was last updated?

I’m dealing with PAS and need latest information. PAS is a relatively new issue that is more and more recognized in family courts. Looks like things are changing all the time in regards to this issue.
Thanks!
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