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Custody Issues / Re: Is this a Material Change is Circumstance?
« Last post by Justabovewater on Feb 14, 2019, 01:21:48 PM »
Im in Kansas so 18 is the Legal age to become an adult. The Custody order says after Graduation is when child support is suppose to cease. She is also trying to get the Child Support ordered changes. He graduates in May, It will be well after that before we can get a court date. The child support is very little so I dont have a problem with letting her keep that. 

The 13 Year old is doing great is school, She does not want to go live with her mom because of friends in school and so forth. The children are very close so this may be enough to change her mind, and Mother has been putting stuff in her head as well.
Custody Issues / Re: Is this a Material Change is Circumstance?
« Last post by ocean on Feb 14, 2019, 01:14:59 PM »
What is your state say about child support ages? NY is to 21 so he mom could ask for child support for him (but you have the other child so....depending on salaries can negate child support). If you are in state that is 18, I agree with you , try to dismiss the case as son is now emancipated due to his age (but some states say 18 or graduate high school). Is he is school at mom's?  The 13 year old is in school and adjusted so as long as 13 doesn't start asking to go live with mom it should be fine. Around 13 is when judges MAY ask for their opinion. Does 13 yr old want to go with mom?
Custody Issues / Is this a Material Change is Circumstance?
« Last post by Justabovewater on Feb 14, 2019, 12:59:55 PM »
My son Turned 18 in November. He decided he wanted to go live with his Mother because I Grounded him for having bad grades his Senior year of High School. I am rather Strict on Grades but when he is a Senior and Failing, I feel like it is my responsibility as a Parent to get him Graduated. Anyway, We also have a 13 Year old Daughter that I have custody of. The Mother had her Attorney Contact my Attorney and request a Modification for the 13 year old to live with her Because the Children to to be in the same home. 1) When a Child turn 18 he becomes and Adult, It was his Choice to move out and I dont think this has anything to do with the 13 year old.  2) Him turning 18 and Moving was part of the Plan from Birth, IF he is 21, Married with Children, Would she still want them to be together? 3) I dont think him Turning 18 is a Material Change in Circumstance for a Change in Custody. Whats your thoughts?
How long has she been in NY? Go see a lawyer in your state and see if you can bring the divorce back to you. What county in NY is this case?

NY child support is to 21. NY you need grounds for divorce. Due to the boys ages and she sent them back to you willingly the courts here will prob not make the boys come back to NY. But there will be visitation and should be visitation when all the kids are together too so they get to see each other. Has she allowed you to see younger two since she left?

Best and first shot is to dismiss case in NY and move it to you. If it stays in NY, post again I am not a lawyer but have many years dealing with NY family court.
Have a look at these articles to help plan how to respond and what to do:

I'll make it quick. Wife left our home state our 4 kids born and lived in for 15 yrs with 4 kids. After 2 weeks at her mom's house in New state her mom verbally abuse our older boys 11-13 wife asked me to get boys as she knew mom would get worse. Entire time wife said she didn't want divorce but soon as she got residency I got divorce papers last week. She wants all 4 kids. Our boys are residents in my state. Can her state take the boys from my state. I'm calling an attorney in the other state tomorrow.
Parenting Issues / Re: when communication from NCP is nothing but annoying
« Last post by ocean on Jan 01, 2019, 11:21:51 AM »
This site is has quieted down and you only have to post on one board. Most of the regulars are just people who have been through many years through the family court system and help each other. I responded to your other post but...1. Merry Christmas- could have been for your son.2. Present- nope, he gets gifts for his son but from your other post maybe step mom is not allowing gifts and he was trying to go through you?3. Until he starts using his visits, limit the amount of communication until he makes an effort to come and see him. Maybe offer to meet him at a public place between the two of you so child can see dad...fun kid place maybe and you can go read a book and let them have a few hours together, especially since step mom seems to be controlling the amount of time away from him.
Visitation Issues / Re: help with boundaries with NCP:communication issues
« Last post by ocean on Jan 01, 2019, 11:16:13 AM »
Do not answer any communication unless it is a direct question concerning your child. Text ex that you will answer questions regarding child only. Friendly communication is fine and if he wants to see child without new step-mom so be it. Stay out of it.
Is he now seeing child? Encourage communication and visits and how dad wants to use his visitation is up to him (bringing him home or out to public places instead). It is actually good that son gets 1:1 time with dad and not thrown into a mixed family. Maybe in time things will change.
Keep texting dad about son's activities/school functions as you are co-parenting with him.Good luck!
Visitation Issues / help with boundaries with NCP:communication issues
« Last post by balleros on Dec 26, 2018, 08:22:33 AM »
I am posting this here because all NCP has is visitation. But this really belong in the "immature" forum.
My son's father was a ghost for YEARS and within the last 2 months he started contact with me. My son is 7, he doesnt have a phone so all contact has to go through me.
He first texted me through a number that I didn't have on my contact lists and he said "don't use my other number".
I figured he had changed it.
One day I accidentally called the old number and I got to his voicemail so I guess his phone was active. A few days after that, his sister visited us and I she confirmed that the old number was active. I figured he has created a google number or skype number so that his wife would not have access to texts or calls he places. yeah he got married about 5 years ago and I got a letter from her attorney stating that my son can never visit his home. So clearly she knows he has a son. The biggest issue I had with the texts were most of the time non son related such as "have a great day", "good morning" etc.
Anyway, I sent NCP an email saying that we do not accept anymore calls from X number and he can contact me from his regular phone number. It was not a problem for him. He started sending the same type of messages by email and then he started calling but through Facetime which he turns off the video function when we pickup. So obviously, he is still trying to keep his phone activity at hidden level. Does this bother me? of course ! If he can't be mature enough to be open about having a son, why would I even expose my son to it?

NCP is almost 50. This type of behavior is unacceptable.
Am I wrong for wanting proper communication?
If my son can't get the respect he deserves, why bother?

Is there anything I can do about this?

Parenting Issues / when communication from NCP is nothing but annoying
« Last post by balleros on Dec 25, 2018, 05:39:18 PM »
My son is 7 years old and he has been raised solely by me .His father has ONLY visitation on Sundays that he never served. As we finish the 7th year, he started contact again but it is more annoying that beneficial. I mean how can he actually build a bond with the type of communication he establishes?

What do I call annoying?
sending me an email that does not address my son at all. Here is his message:

"Merry Christmas.  Hope u have a good day".

Also, on Saturday he sent mean email asking me to pick up a toy for my son at a Target near me.I am trying to be nice so I said "I don't mind picking it up but it might be better if I save it and you give it to him when you see ". He responded and he said he was going to let me know. I told him to let me know before 11 pm on Dec 24 as I was going to put all presents by the tree. He never did.

He only lives 58 miles away and yes, I don't expect me to make a complete change but what he is doing is not that positive either

any thoughts into this ?

I don't want to close the door but ...
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