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Author Topic: I haven't cried since I was a kid  (Read 7331 times)

homewrecked

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Your advice is accepted with much thanks
« Reply #10 on: Jan 29, 2004, 12:00:04 PM »
You're absolutely right.  I should have known better.  But she used to look at me like no other girl has.  I was so in love with this woman.  Even up to that fateful night, I think that if she had come and apologized and said she wanted to work it out, I probably would have tried.

That just proves your point.  I either couldn't or just refused to see her true colors...  God, I'm pathetic.

Well, your words of encouragement do mean alot to me, and I thank you for sharing a little of your own experience.  I have always said that no matter how tough a spot you are in, somebaody else has it worse.  It does help (a little) to know that I am not alone.


sweetnsad

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Well...
« Reply #11 on: Jan 29, 2004, 12:01:06 PM »
My Gosh, you should know that you are definitely not alone here...there are literally thousands of men out there going through the same thing...and I think it's despicable...using sex to get what you want...downright disgusting.

I am so sorry that this is happening to you, but you came to the right place for some guidance and ears to listen....I hope you can muster up enough strength for the fight of your life.  If you think this is bad, I'm certain she will get worse.  Don't turn your back for a second.  That knife really hurts.

My STB husband kind of went through the same thing, only she charged him with assault...it still absolutely AMAZES me how many women use assault, sex, rape, etc. to get what they want...so many bogus charges are filed against innocent men for the purpose of gaining custody, money, etc..How does this continue to happen?

Take care and God Bless you while you fight for those babies...obviously this woman has serious mental problems...and to think, she works on the other side of the law???  (shaking my head)...

sweetnsad

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RE: Your advice is accepted with much thanks
« Reply #12 on: Jan 29, 2004, 12:04:06 PM »
Let me tell you, you have NOT failed those kids...she has...and the older they get, the more they will realize this...

"Holding your head high" is good advice...you have done nothing wrong, so don't hang your head in shame....Fight.  And continue to be the best Daddy possible for those babies...they'll need you sooner than you think.

homewrecked

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These are good suggestions... I'll use them.
« Reply #13 on: Jan 29, 2004, 12:08:00 PM »
I have a freind in her area.  That's how I know she's been leaving the kids with the boyfreinds, but like you said, I need someone I can trust with my life  -  no... with the lives of my children.  I don't have that freind.  I am alone in this.  My parents are offering all the support they can, but that's pretty limited.

I guess that's why I'm at this site.  I don't even know any of you, but I fell like calling you all good freinds.  I will come back often. I will be here every day if I can.  Who knows...  maybe someday I will be afforded the opportunity to offer some encouraging words to some poor schmuck that finds himself in a similar situation.

homewrecked

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Thank you, for sharing my pain
« Reply #14 on: Jan 29, 2004, 12:21:08 PM »
I have been researching the avenues of pursuing criminal and civil action against her for filing false reports.  Unfortunately, three of the four allegations have mysteriously vanished.  There is no record of them.  These are the three that happened in that small town where they all realize that she is full of shit.  They know that it can all be used against her, and that she is a whore and a liar.  I can't understand how some stupid code between officers can take precedence over the lives of two children.

I will be able to sue her for intentional infliction of emotional distress (got that word from a lwyer... sounds bitchin) after the charges against me are dropped.  The bad news there is that they have three years (statute of limitations) that they are allowed to keep the case open.  Until then, I'm guilty.

Thank you this and all the other insight in your message, and I will be coming back to keep you all updated.



homewrecked

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Praying for that strength....
« Reply #15 on: Jan 29, 2004, 12:51:03 PM »
I'm not a big guy, but I have never have a problem taking care of myself or my family.  Call it machoism or whatever you want, but what is killing me the most is my helplessness to defend my babies.  

I don't care about my rights.  I've been called bad things before. (never a rapist mind you)  I can handle that petty crap.  But MY GOD! How can I call myself a dad, and watch as they are being hurled into such a harmful situation, While I spend the whole time sobbing in bed instead of rushing to their rescue?

I realize that this is going to be a marathon as opposed to a sprint, but I won't be able to live with myself if something happens to either of them before Feruary 17.  Yes, it will have been her fault, but can I be held blameless for not doing WHATEVER is necessary to protect my babies?  I think not.

Please help me pray for strength as well as sanity, because I'm close... I'm so close to losing it.

FatherTime

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RE: Praying for that strength....
« Reply #16 on: Jan 29, 2004, 01:39:14 PM »
You said:
"I don't care about my rights. "

You should care because your rights have a direct correlation to your children's rights.  Your children have no rights, so your's rights are important to them.

Don't have any contact without witnesses.  We all make mistakes.  I made a mistake of trusting my daughter's mother, and she used my compassion against me.  Show this woman no compassion.  She is a trickster and a liar.  Show her no mercy.  She will see it as weakness and use it against you.  Do not fool yourself in thinking that she is having some sort of change of heart.  

DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT

This will become very important for you.  If you can keep all of her statements from early on and keep them organized, you will find where she forgets her lies.  She will contradict herself and you can show her inconsistencies.  

Pathological liars are usually found out in this manner.  Pathological liars can play the part to anyone at any point in time, until someone points out their lies with proof of prior statements.  Find the proof in her own statements.  That's were I've found my proof in my own case.  If you can discredit her with her own statements and show how she is not honest...then her testimony in court will lose value.


an aside....

Do you remember that mother who drowned her kids in the car about a decade ago?  She was the one who said that some black man stole her car with her kids inside and she cried on national tv.  She was found out by the public scrutiny...and the fake crying.  I was just thinking about how your ex would hold up under public scrutiny.  Just a thought.



homewrecked

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Wow, I never would have considered that perspective
« Reply #17 on: Jan 29, 2004, 01:52:35 PM »
My kids are all that matters to me... and your're right when you say that in order to help them I must defend my rights.  I thank you for shedding some light on this for me.

I do remember the cas you mentioned about that horrible woman.  Maybe someone has a suggestion as to a good way to expose this travesty to the public...

Thank you father time, and please... please keep me in your prayers.

MYSONSDAD

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RE: These are good suggestions... I'll use them.
« Reply #18 on: Jan 29, 2004, 02:01:19 PM »
Just a thought...

I am really tight on the money end, but the best money I spent was on a PI. A good one will get a sh*t load in about a day. Weekends are the best bet.

I would also get the names of the people who are helping her and see if they have any kind of record.

Does she have the children in a different county? Check your state statutes. If you were residing in a different county, you might be able to get this away from the people that are helping her. At least from the point were the children are concerned. I would also find a damned good attorney out of that area. Some attorneys offer free consultation for the first visit. Start going on this NOW.

If her so called friends start stalking or harrassing you, get a RO on them. Do not let her push you around. Find out your rights and go with it.

You have nothing to be ashamed of. All of us make mistakes. Hind sight is great. But learning from the mistakes is what really matters. Just keep those babies in the fore front. If I had a nickel for every screw up, I'd be rich!

Peanutsdad

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RE: Wow, I never would have considered that perspective
« Reply #19 on: Jan 29, 2004, 02:03:51 PM »
Hmmm, I dont know which is worse,, the false allegations so many of us go thru,,or the brakeline my ex cut on my car,, made for a hellova ride thru downtown Dallas LOL.

Broken,, you have got a long road ahead. Keep the faith, do everything "by the book", always, ALWAYS take the high road in word and deed.

Document, DOCUMENT DOCUMENT. Did I say document?

Begin a journal,, no emotion to it, just the facts. Keep it daily. Label across the top of each page, Confidential, to my attrny XXX.

One of ya'll Ca folks,, tell him if he can record calls ,,if you can,, do it. One other thing, any Ca folks,, due to her involvement with law enforcement in her area, any chance of his getting a change of venue?

 

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