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Author Topic: Relinquishment of Parental Rights  (Read 6246 times)

kathy

  • Guest
RE: Lil Dude
« Reply #20 on: Feb 26, 2004, 12:34:12 PM »
My understanding on this issue it that you can relinquish your rights if you are not involved with the child, neglect the child and/or the bio parent is an addict with drugs or alcohol, at least hear in California.

So let me get this straight....

Biodad signed his rights away but will still comes around and takes lil dude or spend time w/ him?? So why terminate his rights.... I don't think I understand correctly.


Indigo Mom

  • Guest
RE: Lil Dude
« Reply #21 on: Feb 26, 2004, 01:02:41 PM »
If you've never had any rights to begin with, there's nothing to terminate.

My hub is lil dudes father.  Biodad knows this.  Biodad is ok with this.  Biodad knows he is "unable" to BE the father to this child.  Biodad has no problem with lil dude calling my hub "daddy" because biodad knows it's "right".  

Biodad will always have a place in lil dudes life, should he choose to be in it...but when it comes to those "rights and responsibilities"...those are going to my hub.  Biodad will NEVER be responsible for child support, medical, anything...those are going to be given to my hub.

It may sound all types of crazy...but here I have a biofather who can't be a father...and I have a hub who can.  I have a biofather who isn't around "too" often...but when he is, it's great.  I have the duty (in my opinion) to do what's right for lil dude...and telling him he can't see his biodad isn't right.  

My son has been nagging the GAL for a year now to have his last name changed from my maiden to our married.  He loves hub, hub loves him.  I do believe he loves his biodad, but it's not "happening"...ya know? Giving this child to the only man who's ever really been dad...my hub...well, that's too cool for words.  And...biodad is ok with it all.  

Besides, this whole biodad/stepdad thing is intertwined with the most nightmarish case on earth (again, my opinion) with a horrible "interested 3rd party"...and if you knew all the facts of the case, including what went down in court last month...you'd understand why sometimes...things HAVE to happen whether they make sense or not at the present moment.






kathy

  • Guest
RE: Lil Dude
« Reply #22 on: Feb 26, 2004, 02:53:41 PM »
I understand clearly where you're coming from. I could understand your hub's feelings for this child. I too have a step-daughter who I love. She's my only daughter and I have two boys also. I applaud your hub because it's not easy to except someone elses child.

You said  "If you've never had any rights to begin with, there's nothing to terminate". If he's the biodad automatically at birth he has rights. Right??? Don't get me wrong I fully understand just that you make it seem as if it's that easy to just relinquish your rights with out a good motive just because biodad does not have $$$$$$ (you said it yourself) I have a biofather who isn't around "too" often...but when he is, it's great.

Who's to say in a few years from now your hub and yourself split up, is hub going to be charged child support to help you with lil dude or is your new hub going to be stepping in and becoming lil dude's new daddy???

And another question you mentioned that "you'd understand why sometimes...things HAVE to happen whether they make sense or not at the present moment" But to be honest with you when you make decisions like that, you set yourself up for making more mistakes.

JUST MY THOUGHTS TO YOU.

Indigo Mom

  • Guest
RE: wow...
« Reply #23 on: Feb 26, 2004, 05:43:12 PM »
I'm impressed with your Judgement of me.  Not only is it OFF, it's so far off in outerspace it ain't even funny, darlin.  But, just to clear a few things up for ya...

#1 My sons biological father has never been in court with me.  WE don't have a case together...for custody, parenting time, child support.  WE will never have that.  We were a 1 night stand, not a marriage, not even a relationship.  We worked together, that's about how "well" we knew each other.  Because he didn't want to be a father, we went our separate ways.  I never filed anything on him...to me, it was pointless.  (I don't believe in forcing someone to be a parent after they've stated they're not interested in it) He came around when lil dude was 6 years old.  Still, no court orders.  It was a trust thing.  For a year, he trusted me that I'd give lil dude up when he called.  Worked well.  Ask any guy here...an unmarried man has no rights unless he petitions the court.  biodad didn't have to do that...he got to pick lil dude up whenever he could.  

#2 Because nothing was ever established in court, there are no rights to relinquish.  No one was ever determined to be my sons legal father.  

#3 As for "good motive"...well, that's where you'll never understand.  I have a "case" for my son with a 3rd party.  Don't know how long you've been on SPARC, but that's the one I refer to as "monster"...because he truly is.  Good motive?  I HAVE good motive, so does my sons biofather.  WE have good motive.  

#4 Where in my post did I ever say the biofather didn't have money?  He works!  He has a place to live, he has a car payment...in fact, he's got more money than hub and I.  Please, point out WHERE I said my sons biofather didn't have money, and that THAT is the reason to "terminate" his rights?  I dare you to scroll through EVERY post of mine and find where I said my sons biofather is having his rights terminated because he's broke.  

#5 Now, this CRAP about my husband and I splitting up in a few years, and your insinuation that I'd go after child support.  There are exactly THREE people on this board I've talked to about this...and all 3 can tell you my feelings on that.  Also, those three people can tell you I never ONCE brought up child support should there be a break up.  (before something as "final" as an adoption, one must go through all the scenarios)bThey brought it up, and I poopoo'd it away, because I wouldn't GO after child support.  You're assuming a few things about me, that...well, they're making YOU look like an ass.  I'm not all about money.  I have none, I get none.  Money doesn't make the world go round, darlin....nor is it a way to control others.

#6 What's this about my "new" husband?  I've been with my husband for 5 years, married 4 1/2.   What kind of insane shit is this you're coming out with?  LMAO!!!  Are you for real?  

-----But to be honest with you when you make decisions like that, you set yourself up for making more mistakes.-----

After you pull your foot out of your mouth after all those "assumptions" about me...why don't you consider NOT doing that...it "could" make a person pretty angry.

-----JUST MY THOUGHTS TO YOU-----

And?  Your point?  I have a thought for you.  Learn to comprehend the posts you are replying to.  


kathy

  • Guest
RE: wow...
« Reply #24 on: Feb 27, 2004, 08:25:07 AM »





#1
......We were a 1 night stand, not a marriage, not even a relationship. We worked together, that's about how "well" we knew each other.......

 Clearly you really don't know the biodad.

......He came around when lil dude was 6 years old. Still, no court orders. It was a trust thing.

  We've establish the fact that you don't him very well, and he left for 6 years and he comes back & you trust him? (I seriously don't understand)

......an unmarried man has no rights unless he petitions the court......
   What state do you live in??




#4
My statement was (you said it yourself) I have a biofather who isn't around "too" often...but when he is, it's great. Not that he didn't have money, the statement about $$$$$ was that there are you can't relinquish your rights away because you lack $$$$. I never said you were in it for $$$$. As a matter of fact, I applauded your hub for what you both are doing. Now if you're in the offensive side of it that's perhaps because I pinched a nerve!!


#5
....Now, this CRAP about my husband and I splitting up in a few years...

    People could never be sure of any relationship to last a life time. The statistics have shown that 9 out of 10 marriages end in divorce. So my question to you was that if your relationship does not last, what will happen to hub and lil dude since he is assuming the rights as a father? Your reading too much into just questions. Like you said I don't know the whole story but as I mentioned on my last post "My Thoughts" nothing more.

.....You're assuming a few things about me, that...well, they're making YOU look like an ass.....

    Once again i'm not assuming anything i'm asking questions.!!!! How am I looking like your comment if I'm not the one who's getting upset and aggressive about somebody asking a few things about a post you decided to share to many?????


....After you pull your foot out of your mouth after all those "assumptions" about me...why don't you consider NOT doing that...it "could" make a person pretty angry......

Obviously you have issues you need to deal with. I suggest you Don't put your 2 cents in and simply read what other people have to say.



JUST MY THOUGHTS TO YOU , Good Luck!!




Indigo Mom

  • Guest
RE: wow...
« Reply #25 on: Feb 27, 2004, 10:09:37 AM »
-----Clearly you really don't know the biodad.-----

Um...YA...I believe I stated that when I wrote the words "1 night stand".  

-----We've establish the fact that you don't him very well, and he left for 6 years and he comes back & you trust him? (I seriously don't understand)-----

Yep.  You read right.  We established a relationship built on trust for lil dude. (It was VERY hard in the beginning, I will say that) Is there really something wrong with that?  Are you saying I shouldn't have trusted him?  That he shouldn't have trusted me? Why not?  Would you prefer me to be the typical PBFH and deny him "anything" just because legally, I "can"?  Would you prefer me to tell this guy, who's already been legally f*cked over by monster...that he's getting f*cked over by me, too???  Ain't gonna happen.  Contrary to what many people may believe...I do have a heart somewhere in me.  

-----......an unmarried man has no rights unless he petitions the court......
What state do you live in??-----

I could live in ANY of the 50 states, and it's the same.  An unmarried father must petition the court for a paternity action.  At this hearing, he must either "swear paternity" or request a DNA test to "prove" he is the father, or "exclude" him from being the biological father of the child.  Ask any unmarried guy here.....is it fair?  No...it makes any unmarried man an automatic NCP.

-----I have a biofather who isn't around "too" often...but when he is, it's great. Not that he didn't have money, the statement about $$$$$ was that there are you can't relinquish your rights away because you lack $$$$. I never said you were in it for $$$$. As a matter of fact, I applauded your hub for what you both are doing. Now if you're in the offensive side of it that's perhaps because I pinched a nerve!!-----

First of all, you couldn't "pinch a nerve" if you were sitting right next to me.  I have thicker skin than that.  So please, don't start patting yourself on the back now.  But you did say this...

-----Don't get me wrong I fully understand just that you make it seem as if it's that easy to just relinquish your rights with out a good motive just because biodad does not have $$$$$$ -----

Maybe I "took" it wrong, but you insinuated that the "good motive" is that the biodad doesn't have money.  Don't dollar signs stand for "money"?  The biofather isn't "relinquishing" anything.  He KNOWS he has no rights (thanks to "3rd party")....he also KNOWS that lil dude being adopted by hub is the best thing.  Nothing to do with who has money.  He knows he is unable to BE a father, he knows he can't be what lil dude needs, and lil dude NEEDS a 100% father.  It's not "always" about money.  Sometimes...and I know this "might" be a bit hard for you to understand...but sometimes, you'll meet a person (or in this case 3 people) who only care about the child and "what's best".  You act as though i'm "ripping" lil dude from his biofather for "no good reason"...but you fail to understand, that if biodad was here...he'd tell you the same things.  The best thing about this?  He can still come around...that's something you'll just 'never' understand.  He will never be overwhelmed with the "responsibilities" part of being a parent.

-----So my question to you was that if your relationship does not last, what will happen to hub and lil dude since he is assuming the rights as a father? ------

No, you said this.....

-----Who's to say in a few years from now your hub and yourself split up, is hub going to be charged child support to help you with lil dude or is your new hub going to be stepping in and becoming lil dude's new daddy???-----

That's a FAR cry from "oh my, what's going to happen to your husband should you two split up"  The fact that you mentioned "new hub" becoming lil dudes "daddy" says it all.  You were being antagonistic with that statement, and you know it!  THIS is why you got attitude from me.  

Here's how it works.  When a person legally adopts a child, that person BECOMES the parent.  With that comes rights and responsibilities.  (do I need to explain those to you?)  When a person IS the parent, they have the right to petition the court for custody and child support...so if you look at the "big" picture, legally, if there's a split, hub can petition the court to have lil dude LIVE with him, give me parenting time, and also receive child support from me.  But you didn't think of "that" scenario, did you?  It goes both ways when there are two "legal" parents.  It's not about me getting child support out of him, because he could just as easily get it out of me.  Please, don't think for a minute he and I haven't discussed all this crap...because we have.  As for "new hubby"...let's not even go there.  I "could" understand that one if I've only been married for a month or two....but that's not the case.  

-----Your reading too much into just questions. -----

I believe I read your "questions" (insinuations) just fine.  Thankyouverymuch.

-----Once again i'm not assuming anything i'm asking questions.!!!! How am I looking like your comment if I'm not the one who's getting upset and aggressive about somebody asking a few things about a post you decided to share to many????? -----

Ask a question, get an answer...assume something, after it's been explained to you, and you'll get attitude.  Aggressive?  Me?  Neveeeeeeer...I showed you that you were wrong...got a problem with it?  Deal, lady.  There really "are" people who care about the kids more than themselves.  And speaking of that, IF your stepdaughter chose to "live with you"...tell me...would you then petition the courts for child support from BOTH bioparents?  Would be very "profitable" for you...wouldn't it? You see...it doesn't "feel" nice when someone assumes something and asks a question like that...does it?  

-----Obviously you have issues you need to deal with. I suggest you Don't put your 2 cents in and simply read what other people have to say.-----

Oh, I have plenty of issues, no doubt about that.  I WILL put my 2 cents in to correct the insane insinuations (or as you call em..."questions") of someone who clearly doesn't know me and flat out refuses to "get" what she's read.  











kathy

  • Guest
RE: wow...
« Reply #26 on: Feb 27, 2004, 11:38:05 AM »
You have not shown me that you are right! I read a couple of the comments you posted earlier and if "MONSTER" put you through hell and back, what are you exposin your son to?

As far as your comment about .... There really "are" people who care about the kids more than themselves"....

Let me tell you something, DARLIN. I am involved with a Non-Profit Organization and we are in the middle of buying a ranch here in California. We will help many children whom are in DISFUNCTIONAL HOMES!!!!!  and try to salvage their hopes and visions. We will have couselors assisting them 24/7. We will also prepare them to be productive members of society. The ranch has stables and we are looking into also purchasing horses. So PLEASEEEEE don't sermon me about caring for children more than yourself. Or did you mean There really "are" people who care about THEIR kids more than themselves??? So what have you done to care for kids????????

....And speaking of that, IF your stepdaughter chose to "live with you"...tell me...would you then petition the courts for child support from BOTH bioparents? Would be very "profitable" for you...wouldn't it? You see...it doesn't "feel" nice when someone assumes something and asks a question like that...does it?.....

  Ahhhhh, i'm glad you said that, Now you will know a little about me. You see, I have been married for 11 years. And trying to get custody of my daughter (step) with my husband (stbx) upon doing to I will adopt my daughter and my husband will sign a Power of Attorney to me while the adoption is in process. We just filed our modification of child custody. My daughters biomom does not know this but, biodad and myself have been seperated for 4 years (Yes, 4 years) and before you ask any questions the reason we separated was that in 1998 we filed to get custdoy of her. He felt we would get custody without a lawyer (boy was he ever wrong) I felt he did not try harder in court her. I was not allowed to be inside the court room to speak my mind. Judge said stepparents are not important in their eyes. I guess that built resentment towards him and little by little I lost the love. After he left I thought about my children and their future. that's when I came up with "When you make decisions like that, you set yourself up for making more mistakes" So I decided that my children did not ask for this. So why should they end up paying the price. I decided from that moment on that if I truly love my kids I WOULD DEDICATE MYSELF TO ONLY THEM! My life is my children. I don't go out unless it's with them. I travel many places and my children come with me. I don't go to nightclubs or bar. Don't get me wrong I'm not bad looking and I weigh 120 lbs. I gon't received child support from my husband (not a cent) and he does see them everyday. I make good money where I can provide for my children enough to them away for the weekend to Catalina Island or San Francisco. In school my kids are in a class for gifted children. You know why?? .. because I devote all my time when i'm not working to them. "I WON'T GET INVOLVED IN ANY RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE THAT WILL TAKE TIME AWAY FROM MY KIDS" My daughter wants to be a Doctor, my oldest son a paleontologist and my youngest a forensic scientist. I guarantee it that if I did not give them ALL of my attention to them, these would not be their goals. My childrens ages are 14, 10 and 8. Tell me how many kids you know fit this criteria?? As far as asking for child support from both bioparents...... Naaaaa as I said earlier I make very good money. I wouldn't mind paying them child support just to have her live w/ me for ever.

.......Aggressive? Me? Neveeeeeeer...I showed you that you were wrong...got a problem with it? Deal, lady.......

Well, I haven't been shown i'm wrong yet, atleast by you. I take it back not Aggressive but Angry. I did read other posts.
QUESTION , ONLY QUESTION OKAY!!!! Do you use foul language when you write or speak??

A Lady always remembers to remain a Lady what ever the circumstances may be..... Grace Kelly (1963)






Indigo Mom

  • Guest
RE: wow...
« Reply #27 on: Feb 27, 2004, 12:48:42 PM »
----- You have not shown me that you are right! I read a couple of the comments you posted earlier and if "MONSTER" put you through hell and back, what are you exposin your son to?-----

monster and biofather are 2 completely different people.  

As for the rest of your post.  I hate to break it to ya...but making your children "your life" and all that other jazz you bragged about doing with them?  That's what you're SUPPOSED to do.  Most parents don't "brag" about things they are obligated to do. It doesn't make you "great", it doesn't make you "awesome", it doesn't make you "better" than anyone else...it makes you a parent.  That's IT.

-----So PLEASEEEEE don't sermon me about caring for children more than yourself. Or did you mean There really "are" people who care about THEIR kids more than themselves??? So what have you done to care for kids????????-----

hmmmm...clearly I mean the "or" part...and I haven't done kaka (is that word allowed?) for kids.  I think I've made that clear, too...by the way...where in the hoohah (that allowed?) are those rugrats anyway??? oh well...mebbe some stranger will take care of them.  

-----Do you use foul language when you write or speak?? -----

Obviously.  Would you like the number to the nearest CPS?  I can call them if you'd like.  Holy moly, Indy said the "S" word (and because you're "clearly" a swear word virgin, that stands for shit) ...oh my...Indy said the A word.  Indy is a bad bad parent because she said a wirdy dird while her kids are in school.  WHOA...take those kiddo's away!!!!  Call 911!  Call the President!  Hang ol Indy from the gallows!!!!  

Get real..  You're just mad because of my 1st post to you, where I said that even when my hub adopts my child...his biofather will always be in his life.  I see nothing wrong with that...but clearly you do.  Must be another difference you and I have...

*****He was like the cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow - George Eliot*****










kathy

  • Guest
RE: wow...
« Reply #28 on: Feb 27, 2004, 03:13:42 PM »
It's not bragging, im merely telling you my experience and how I care for my children! THAT'S ALL. YOUR READING TOO MUCH INTO IT AGAIN

I know you only care about yours. Why do you think a brought out that comment! Duhh Hello!!!!
What rugrats are you referring to? If you are referring to the kids who will be in the ranch, I did mention "IT'S  IN  THE  PROCESS."

 
 
...Get real.. You're just mad because of my 1st post to you, where I said that even when my hub adopts my child...his biofather will always be in his life.....

Okay, you got me. You Win I throw my white flag. HA-HA PLEASEEEEE get off you high horse.

....Obviously. Would you like the number to the nearest CPS? I can call them if you'd like. Holy moly, Indy said the "S" word

No, just shows me that you are a ghetto, vulgar woman. I see clearly your morals and values because people who do apply them everyday. Don't worry I won't dare step to your level. Colorados finest I suppose.


(and because you're "clearly" a swear word virgin, that stands for shit) ...


I stand plenty. Thank you:) I still have not forgotten that I AM A LADY. You could never even be half the woman that I and several other decent women are. I And that's so sad.
BITTER INDY- BITTER INDY



And even though you and I don't agree IN SEVERAL THINGS..... I still applaud once more for your hubs part. And wish you PLENTY of LUCK in raising your lil dude to be a productive member in society. I hope that perhaps in a couple of years I may run into you and check again how your life and lil dudes has turned out to be......

Indigo Mom

  • Guest
RE: Gee...
« Reply #29 on: Feb 28, 2004, 07:51:19 AM »
If being a "lady" means I'd be as deceptive as you are when it comes to your 4 year separation from your husband....lying to the courts AND to the biomother about it...just so you can "steal" this child that is NOT yours (and I say "steal" because it's fraud)....well, I'll take being a "vulgar, ghetto woman" ANY day.  Because, if nothing else...I'm not going to lie and deceive to get what "I" want.  Me, a little vulgar, ghetto woman...knows it's not about me, but rather the child.  You could learn alot from the 'hood, "lady"....but you're too stuck on yourself to "get" it.  

You wouldn't know sarcasm if it smacked you upside that overinflated head of yours.  Contrary to what "you" believe, what others write isn't "always" about you. (the rugrat thing?  Wasn't about your center) When I posted a response to you, I was being honest...in the next few responses...I was still being honest.  Then you had to start your ego crap and now look what you've done.  You've turned this thread about relinquishing parental rights into a battle of the "egos"...however, you're the only one battling, and being nasty as all get out.  Who's a lady?  Not you.


Done showing your "true colors" yet?  Mine have always been showing....I don't "hide" who I am.  I'm done with you and your ramblings about nothing but...well...how much better you are than everyone else...simply because you do what any parent does.

Bubye!


 

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