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Author Topic: few questions regarding standard possession  (Read 8741 times)

abby14

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Re: few questions regarding standard possession
« Reply #10 on: Jun 12, 2013, 10:38:43 AM »
Well we were the ones that moved. not her and yes this really needs to get revised. But i suppose she is right, since i am to have them this weekend, being HER weekend and its fathers day weekend, i do have to bring them so i minus well just bring them in sunday because i don't want to spend fathers day without them.  Its me again, throwing in the towel just to make her happy.  Its all starting to make sense talking to yall.  Its been really helpful.  My wife has been boggling her mind going through the papers trying to get this worked out.

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Papers say June 15th, 6pm. This falls on fathers day weekend. Both mom and I are in a disagreement about how the kids should get to her.  she says i have to drop them off at her house because the 15th falls on fathers day weekend. Papers state that on fathers day weekend I am suppose to pick them up from her and drop them back off, BUT the papers also say that during the start of her possession periods, she is to pick them up from me.

Here's how I see this -- not that it makes logistical sense...ok?
 
She is to pick up the children on June 15th at 6 pm -- and she'll take them 200 miles back to her place.
 
You pick up the children on June 16th Father's Day -- spend the day with them and then return them that evening.
 
Does it give a start time for Father's Day?
 
Since she moved -- this year, it logistically doesn't make sense anymore.....
 
So I agree with the suggestion to offer to meet her half way on Father's Day -- since you all have been sticking to the normal 1/3/5 weekend plan.
 
ALSO -- I'm wondering -- in Texas, for a long distance plan, HOW does that change weekends every month?


MixedBag

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Re: few questions regarding standard possession
« Reply #11 on: Jun 12, 2013, 06:02:33 PM »
ok....many of us here are/were NCPs....
 
SO....as an NCP, you as the CP already have tons of time with the child so yep, I expect you to be the one to give "more" than the NCP.  Every time as the NCP, when I'm asked or the perception was created that I had to GIVE UP time with my son -- that stung.
 
NOW, I respect that you are the CP for a very valid reason....  I was also a CP for my two girls.  And once I became the NCP, In many senses I learned to be more flexible with my girls with their father where I was the CP....
 
There's some anger lingering still -- and be very careful about how that helps you make decisions for the kids.
 
Valid anger considering how they were born, but please be careful.
 
I had to learn that "Mother's Day" was just another day -- it wasn't even SPECIFIED in my order....nor was Father's Day....
 
I had to learn New Year's Day was just another day -- another Holiday not specified, Halloween, his birthday, my birthday....  so we adjusted and life went on.
 
If you moved -- you could get "stuck" with all the transportation -- yep, happened to me, but I managed to get a CS offset for many of those years (I was military, so moving was part of my career).   
 
Post away.....vent away....we'll do our best to help

Kitty C.

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Re: few questions regarding standard possession
« Reply #12 on: Jun 13, 2013, 08:30:16 AM »
MB makes a point....is there anything in your order that specifies holidays and, if so, is Father's Day included?  If it does, does it say anything about holidays taking precedence over regular visitation or vacation time?  If it does, then technically you don't have to give the kids to her until Sunday evening.  As far as who drives (and there's no clear-cut answer), the standard rule of thumb is 'he who wants, fetches'...meaning if she wants them, she comes to get them and then you pick them up when it's your time.  And you're still splitting the cost of transportation that way.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

MixedBag

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Re: few questions regarding standard possession
« Reply #13 on: Jun 13, 2013, 09:09:52 AM »
Kitty...yes, BUT HE moved away and made the distance so much bigger....HE created the driving problem....KWIM? 
 
I also wonder if there's something in the TX State code that give guidance and directions about moving away over 100 miles...and did he follow that?
 
 

MixedBag

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Re: few questions regarding standard possession
« Reply #14 on: Jun 13, 2013, 09:13:09 AM »
BTW -- not trying to start an argument....just a healthy discussion because you'd rather have the discussion here than with an EX who might explode in your face and then not be able to think clearly.
 
And I promise to be polite....you might not like my opinion, but it's just that -- an opinion and we all have one of those right?  Just like "butt holes!"  smile!!!! :D


Kitty C.

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Re: few questions regarding standard possession
« Reply #15 on: Jun 13, 2013, 11:59:43 AM »
No argument here, MB!  Just having a 'senior moment', LOL!   ;D   If I had read a little more carefully, I would have known that!
 
But I think the issue of who has the children on Father's Day is still a legitimate issue.  I know that DH's order specified Mother's and Father's Day as holidays and holidays superceded regular visitation and vacation time.  Which is why I can't figure out why he wouldn't have the kids on Father's Day...unless his order is like yours and makes no mention of it.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

MixedBag

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Re: few questions regarding standard possession
« Reply #16 on: Jun 14, 2013, 07:45:40 AM »
I agree -- that he should have them on Father's day in this case -- since it seems the order mentions the holiday specifically.
 
That's why I said "logistically" though, it's a nightmare.
 
Mom gets them starting Saturday at 6 pm.....
 
Dad gets them for Father's day -- but does the order give starting and ending times for that day?
 
Father's day is THE next day.
Dad moved creating the logistical problem....
 
So....I think that's the meat of the important facts.

Kitty C.

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Re: few questions regarding standard possession
« Reply #17 on: Jun 14, 2013, 08:10:52 AM »
Yup....certainly has spun my head sufficiently, LOL!!!  Unless one of them is willing to go the distance and do a lot of driving, I don't see any other way around it.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

MixedBag

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Re: few questions regarding standard possession
« Reply #18 on: Jun 17, 2013, 08:35:27 AM »
Well....what ended up happening?

 

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