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Author Topic: Daughter had overnight visit w/her dad.  (Read 4367 times)

Stepmom0418

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RE: I GET IT NOW.
« Reply #20 on: Aug 10, 2004, 12:19:26 PM »
YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

That is the point that i was trying to get you to see! Your daughter will thank you for supporting her in her relationship with her father in the years to come!! keep your anger and hurt away from your daughter and let her form her own little opinion. Good Luck to you and to your daughter and I never ment to make you feel as if i was attacking you or ripping you apart i just wanted you to see the mistake you were making before it was too late to be fixed!


katz

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From experience
« Reply #21 on: Aug 10, 2004, 12:39:40 PM »
I see you claim to understand it now, but I thought I would give you an experience from the other perspective anyway.

My sd was 1 1/2 years old when her mom left her with sd father. There was a little visitation for a few months, then nothing. No calls, no reachable phone number for my dh to reach his ex, no visitation at all. That went on for over 3 years.

One day out of the blue, my husband received a call from his ex asking to see their daughter again(my sd was 5 years old). Remember none of this was drawn up, and legally my dh could of extinguished sd's mom's rights for abandonment. My dh did not elect to do that, and in fact dh and I reminded sd that she had another mom who just couldnt be with sd right now. We had a picture of her mom, and would encourage sd to acknowledge that she did have other family (her mom and her 1/2 sister that lived with her mom) either with pictures or conversation. Dh never wanted to close the door on a relationship, should her biological mom express a desire to have a relationship.

That first weekend with her mom, was rough for sd to adjust too, but in my dh's opinion it would be even rougher for a daughter to adjust to not having her biological mom and 1/2 sister in her life. My sd is 8 now, and has been seeing her mom every other weekend for 3 years. My sd has adjusted quite well, and loves her whole family. I will admit though, selfishly, the new blend was/is very hard to get used to. Certain dynamics I never would of anticipated, more issues then we were used to ect. All in all I think my dh did exactly what is right for his daughter, even though it isnt the easiest (for us) of choices. Sometimes doing the right thing, isnt the easiest thing to do.

Sherry1

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Yup, I agree totally... Tulip wants someone to tell her it is okay
« Reply #22 on: Aug 10, 2004, 02:31:17 PM »
to limit visitation with dad.. when she didn't get validation, she started a typical pattern of saying he is an alcoholic.. I am so tired of the typical "planet mommy" syndrome.

msme

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Congratulations.....
« Reply #23 on: Aug 11, 2004, 06:59:17 AM »
Believe it or not, no one wanted to beat you up. But, I can see how you would feel that way. I am very glad that you saw the light. It is a long rough road that tooooo many of us have to travel but with love & understanding, we will make it.

By the way, on a sort of positive note, The other day my grandaughter said, "My mom is such a liar. When is she gonna get it that I don't believe her any more?"

That was a rough one to answer. I just told her to forgive her & pray that she sees what she has to do. Then I changed the subject.

Good luck & God bless you.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

 

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