OSS (14) BEGGED the mediator to let him live here. He wouldn't consider any other plan. That's why we spent $10k and immeasurable amounts of stress and emotions on a custody battle. He got what he wanted and now it's not what he wants!
DH got home from GA last month and it's been nothing but hell since then. OSS got Saturday school for eating candy in class. No big deal, but he was highly disruptive in class and I think that was the final straw for the teacher. We didn't make too big a deal of it since the Saturday school kind of blew his whole weekend for him since we go to church on Sunday morning until mid-afternoon he would only have Saturday and Sunday evenings.
He was starting to shape up a little and then next thing I know, he wasn't at school when we were supposed to pick him up. Sometimes he takes the bus with a friend, but he had always called before hand. I figured he forgot and didn't worry about it until it was almost 5 pm and I had been expecting him for almost an hour. I called a fwe of his friends and tracked him down. Before I left to pick him up, I got an automated call from the school that said he had been absent at least one school period. Turns out he cut after 3rd period. Skipped school and took off without letting anyone know what was going on - pretty bad, right? It gets worse.
The very next day, OSS sets off a stink bomb in 3rd period and he and his friend (the one who's house he had gone to the night before) got called into the vice principal's office. Their bags got searched and they found a knife in OSS's backpack. He said he had bought it the day before and forgot to take it out. The school followed district policy and called the police out, but the knife wasn't illegal, it was just illegal for OSS to have it on campus. They didn't write him up but he got suspended. This was the Wednesday before Easter break. They said he could come back after the break. The kicker is, the friend had marijuana in his backpack. OSS said he didn't use, but we think he's lying. He's been lying to us for months. OSS keeps saying he wants to return to
BM.
BM couldn't discipline him at all. She wasn't home until late in the evening and even when she was home, OSS had no problem giving her the perverbial finger and walking out and doing whatever he pleased. He wants to hang out with all those gang-banger, pot-head losers. He thinks that's okay. He pointed out to DH that we (DH and I) had friends who smoked pot. I asked DH who the hell smoked pot?? NONE of my friends do drugs. In fact, my friends are all in law enforcement, the legal field or the military. OSS said my sister smoked pot. I don't get to choose my sister but I choose to have responsible, sober friends. That kind of back talk is starting to get old.
What do we do with this rebelious teen? The school can't control him, BM can't control him, I can't do a thing with him and DH is at the end of his rope. OSS gets upset because he doesn't get to do whatever the hell he wants to do and sulks in his room all weekend and gets pissed off because DH isn't nicer to him. OSS doesn't give DH anything to be nice to him about! He can't even have one day where the teachers mark down his class behavior was acceptable. I'm afraid of who and what he will bring into the house. I have small kids who put things in their mouths and who like and trust just about everyone. My kids and YSS all look up to OSS and he is setting a beyond poor example for them. OSS's behavior is beginning to get dangerous and I am scared for him but I am also scared for the rest of my family.
Does anyone have a similar experience that might help me get through this? I know some rebelion at his age is normal, but this has gotten completely out of hand and now I just see him slipping away and ruining his life already. Help!
