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Author Topic: A Tragic Development  (Read 6289 times)

Brent

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A Tragic Development
« on: Jul 28, 2004, 10:02:55 AM »
I know many of you will shed tears over this, but I noticed that the http://www.SingleMomz.com website is apparently gone.

I don't know if this is a permanent thing, or if their server is just down for a while. Does anyone know what happened?


Kitty C.

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #1 on: Jul 28, 2004, 11:08:09 AM »
Pray that it's the former and NOT the latter.............)(
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

MYSONSDAD

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CRYING TEARS OF JOY!
« Reply #2 on: Jul 28, 2004, 11:21:19 AM »
My heart just breaks over this.

Now they will come here. I have noticed in the past how they copy and paste articles from here and place in their archives. of course, some of the wording changes.

They have also recommended many to come here to read, use and learn.

It won't be long, they will start something, somewhere, no rest for the wicked....


Peanutsdad

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #3 on: Jul 28, 2004, 01:19:32 PM »
I dont know how long it will be gone.

Actually, it is a tragic development. That site provided a haven for a lot of moms who are just as scared as many here, who love their kids just like folks here and who deal with crappy situations, just like here.


Someone mentioned that "they'll all start coming here". Guess what,, they have been here all along. Most of them deal not only with their own custody situations, but help a bf, a dh, or even just a friend.


How do I know? Funny you should ask.
One evening, after going into sparcs chatroom, I was treated like dogshit, just because I was now the cp for my child. I'll leave that person/s nameless, but there are others here who know .
So, on a whim, I went to the singlemomz site, to hear and see for myself all the horrible people that had been described to me. Surely they must be worse than what I just experienced.

What I found, made me ashamed of myself for my preconceptions. What I found, was well over 90% of the women there, are just like the people here. The site wasnt/isnt set up like sparc, its more for the emotional and moral support of its members. The people I met,, were scared for their kids, they deal with addict ex's, jailbirds going back upriver for felonies, they deal with deadbeats, ( yes yes,, why are they deadbeats? the ones Im thinking of have ability to pay, but run), they deal with difficult ex's ( go figure,, am I sure there are any of THOSE? LOL).

What I found, was a group of people that accepted my situation and the problems I deal with where my ex is concerned.  What I found, was a group of people just like here. They have moderates, radicals and just plain folks tryin like hell to hang on. The difference is,, their plumbing is interior.  If you want to know who most of them are,, look in the mirror.


I sincerely hope the site does go back up. It serves a purpose.

sweetnsad

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #4 on: Jul 28, 2004, 01:46:08 PM »
PD...thank you for saying what I've been wanting to say all day after reading Brent's post.  

It's easier to sit there and make judgements against people than it is to actually get to know them.  Your comments will make some single moms very happy.  It's nice to see that you are in their corner.  :)


Peanutsdad

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #5 on: Jul 28, 2004, 02:23:47 PM »
LOL, actually sweet, Im not in singlemoms corner, nor in singledads corner. Im in the kids corner.

If my ex hadnt been such a whacko and a spaz,, my fight would have been for 50/50 placement.

I had to recognize there are times when a clearly defined cp is needed.

Brent

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #6 on: Jul 28, 2004, 02:26:50 PM »
>PD...thank you for saying what I've been wanting to say all
>day after reading Brent's post.  

Actually, I have no complaint with them except for two things.

1) Many of the more vocal people on singlemomz are, in a word, anti-father. And they made no bones about it when I read the forums there.

2) They are obsessed with SPARC and would frequently copy posts over there (which is fine) and then twist them to be used as examples of how horrible people from SPARC are. I have a problem with that, and I really don't see a similar thing going on here.



>It's easier to sit there and make judgements against people
>than it is to actually get to know them.  

Very true. They're as guilty of that as anyone, though.


>Your comments will make some single moms very
> happy.  It's nice to see that you are in their corner.  :)

I agree. Although I'm not a big fan of the singlemomz site, it served a purpose for some people and no doubt they will miss it. In any case, they would be welcome here, and I'm pretty sure if they asked the owner of SPARC to help them out, he would. He's a big believer in the idea that "people need a place to go".

I don't know if any of you ever noticed the "Private Reserve" message boards here, but that's a private group for (mostly) 1st and 2nd wives. They needed a place to go and so he set them up with their own private place here on the web. These are people who in many cases have diametrically opposed views to those of SPARC, but they needed a place and so here they are. I think that says a lot about SPARC's owner and what he stands for.

For what it's worth, consider this- if a group of single dads had asked for a private space on the singlemomz site, would they have gotten it? Would singlemomz have welcomed them and given them their own set of boards? Somehow I doubt it.


sweetnsad

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #7 on: Jul 28, 2004, 02:29:00 PM »
Yes, I understand completely.  I was just glad to see that you were setting the record straight for some people who think that Singlemomz was "evil"....I'm sure if they could, they would thank you.  :)

Peanutsdad

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #8 on: Jul 28, 2004, 03:25:45 PM »
With every site that I hear is "evil",, I tend to go there,, check em out.


Each has its own pecular  'tudes,, but few have been actually rabid.


Sparc  has its share of radicals,, as does singlemomz. Most of the members of both,, are just folks tryin to survive.

I like to think that by frequenting as many sites as I can, I wont get myself locked into a particular mindset or attitude or belief. I like to think it keeps me focused on what has been important to me all along,, the kids.


Brent, I was in no way smackin on you in this thread,, I simply was answering other posters with my own observations.  You do a damn good job helping parents.

Bolivar OH

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #9 on: Jul 28, 2004, 03:59:54 PM »
I have no problem with Singlemomz going down.  The fact they are gone means to me that there is no demand for their services.

Perhaps I am one of the radicals.

However, since I have followed your posts Peanustdad I am more knowledgeable and with the help Kitty C. has given me, I have become a more loving and understanding person. (LOL -- just a little I suppose)

However, I am a father working through anger issues with the system that took my son away from me and still I must support with my taxes (tribune).


P.S. a jokester noted that “perhaps they are no longer single”

Peanutsdad

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #10 on: Jul 28, 2004, 06:51:22 PM »
would a group of singledads have gotten a private space at singlemomz?

Probably not,,,,but look at the name. It was a site set up by single mothers for single mothers.  As such, I didnt even expect to be welcomed there, but I was. Regardless of popular opinion, ( or unpopular LOL), there are many many women there that either really need help with their situations or have help to offer.

Are some of them antidad? Sure,, no arguement there.  Even the members there that ARE antidad,, treated me with respect.  As a single dad with custody, in essense, I was an outsider,, but I did develop many good friendships there.


Sparc,, is probably the best site out here for parents. ( Note, I said parents,, not dads, not moms). It is the site I primarily "inhabit". Sparc has the most detailed resources for parents of anywhere on the net.
Waylon is, as far as Im concerned, a true saint. He has tried and does encompass all aspects of being a single parent with this site.

jurroppi1

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RE: A Tragic Development - Check this out...
« Reply #11 on: Jul 28, 2004, 07:38:25 PM »
I was looking in search engines to see if I could find them anywhere else on the web, and I cam across some statistics for the site:
[A HREF=http://www.alexa.com/data/details/traffic_details?&range=2y&size=medium&compare_sites=&url=www.singlemomz.com/#top]Related info for: singlemomz.com (from ALEXA)[/A]

Kind of interesting anyhow.

skye

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RE: A Tragic Development - Check this out...
« Reply #12 on: Jul 28, 2004, 08:36:33 PM »
Almost everyone here knows my story as a stepparent. The abuse of my stepchildren the harrassment from the PBFH I have been at this sight well over 4 years now... I have learned a great deal from this sight and consider a lot of you dear friends... but keep in mind there are 2 sides to every story ... I was a single mom before I was a stepparent ... here is my story..

I married very young 17 actually. At the time I really don't know what I was thinking. oh well ...he was great the first year, then he started finding fault with all my friends, when they were gone, he started on my family, then I got pregnant.. how dare me.

That was the worst year of my life, he beat me every day throughout my pregnancy, I am not talking little hits or slaps I am talking to the point I prayed to god to let me die. just be done with it....

EVERYONE said why are you staying.. yet I had nowhere to go or so I thought... than it was to the point that I believed in my heart I could never or would never find better... then one day six months pregnant and with toxemia I had the nerve to fall asleep on the couch with a dirty spoon in the sink... when he came in he was livid and drunk so he boiled a pot of water and threw it on me to wake me up. he chased me up the stairs beat me wrapped a guitar cord around my neck and threw me out of a 3 story window... and the cord broke.


My daughter was born that night, she weighed in at 1 and a half pounds. she had a collapsed lung from the fall, she was medivac'd to a bigger hospital and I was placed in intensive care for 3 weeks, I saw my daughter for the first time when she was 4 weeks old... I was scared I would not recognize her as I had never seen her so I broke down....

the day they released her I waited till he went to work and I jumped on a bus for texas ( I actually just picked a spot on the map) I remember praying that night ... GOD you have kept me here for a reason, my daughter is here for a reason, I am putting this in your hands please god just let us be ok... and yes we are now...

It took about 3 years to like who I am , to not try to figure out what I did wrong,
I lost all my teeth in the last beatiing from the fall... to be 20 and have no teeth is really difficult, and even now I have dentures but they dont fit right because I did not have them when It first happened... I feel angry alot...

Angry that it took that much for me to get the nerve to walk away...
angry that he got very little punishment...
angry that he has all his teeth, that he has no scars from me...
angry because he has served his time and has the visitation most good people have to fight for...

I have been to sinlgeMomz both as a single mom and a stepperson and I was always welcomed they may not have liked what I said sometimes BUT they never lashed out at me for my beliefs... there are a lot of women there who I can relate to almost understand their anger because I have been there too... and there are those who hate all men simply because they are ... there are men here who feel the same about women.. but they/we all have a right to what we feel




MYSONSDAD

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EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION
« Reply #13 on: Jul 28, 2004, 08:40:04 PM »
My mother posted there and was VERBALLY attacked. God forbid she was asking questions to help her son.

After going there from time to time, I found about 75% of those mothers where doing nothing more then passing on information to stick it to Daddy.

'SPERM DONORS'  'RUN MOMMY RUN'

I have been going there for about a year and was not at all impressed with their bias attitudes. Some do have some real issues, but given the advice they received, it also changed their outlook and gave them direction on how to play the game.

I remember about 6 months ago, RINI was trying to help many of them understand the new IRS laws going into effect, She got blasted. Rini spent much time and effort into helping them. That was her thanks.
 
How many here would respect this site if this is what is offered on the Homepage. NOT MANY. Sparc is, by far, the best resource for parents. BOTH PARENTS. There are many Moms on this site and I have a strong respect for many of them. Their constant encouragement and support speaks volumes. Their ADVICE is irreplaceable. Wonder why I got stuck with the ex I did.

Children need both parents. Until abuse, neglect or drugs are proven, both parents should be equally involved with their children.

DO I FEEL BAD ABOUT THOSE MOMS, HELL NO. They are part of the problem. Exchanging tactics for court, encouraging others to play the system. 90% of mothers already have custody, for the fathers, it will be a lifetime of uphill battles.

Most of their articles were based on articles here, changed, of course to suit their purpose.

The Moms that truly do want what is best for their children will find their way here. Get good advice on what is in the ''Best Interest of the Child".

And as far as being for the children, you bet your a$$ I am for the kids. I would bet the farm on it! Already sold my soul.

My Opinion: SINGLE-MINDED- MOMZ

'CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE'

MYSONSDAD

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Fully aware of WHO they are...
« Reply #14 on: Jul 28, 2004, 10:14:55 PM »

"Children learn what they live"

gr8Dad

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So was SPARC...
« Reply #15 on: Jul 29, 2004, 03:46:34 AM »
BTW, hi, ain't posted here in a while...

From what I understand, as I was not here when it was, SPARC was initially titled as a site for fathers seeking custody.

Things change, people change.  I guess singlemomz followed the old, "lead, follow, or get out of the way..."

sweetnsad

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RE: EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION
« Reply #16 on: Jul 29, 2004, 05:16:06 AM »
Yes, everyone has an opinion.  And not alway, will everyone agree.  But, you have to remember that Singlemomz was a site by single mothers for single mothers.  Men have been welcomed there (as PD knows), but that's because they are open-minded enough to realize that some of these mothers are hurting, just like alot of dads.

SPARC is a resource site for both mothers and fathers.  Singlemomz was a retreat and refuge for single mothers.  You can't compare them.  

I believe that children need both parents.  It's the responsibility of both the mother and the father to raise their children, even if they are no longer together.  But, as always, there are circumstances where that isn't an option.  Abuse, drugs and neglect would factor into this.  And, alot of CP mothers AND fathers deal with this on a daily basis.  Hence, our backed up court systems.

You have to honestly sit back and ask yourself why some women are, as PD says, anti-dad.  Probably for the same reasons that some men are anti-mom.  Is it because they want to be?  No.  Some of these mothers are having a heck of a time trying to raise these children on their own.  

Of course there are situations out there where the mother is doing her very best to keep the children from their father, whether it be out of spite or jealousy or because of money, but for every one of those, you will find 10 more that want to do the right thing for their children.  

And I applaud them for doing their very best.

Brent

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Not a problem
« Reply #17 on: Jul 29, 2004, 06:01:42 AM »
>Brent, I was in no way smackin on you in this thread,, I
>simply was answering other posters with my own observations.

I didn't take it that way; we all have different experiences and opinions and there's plenty of room for all of them. I'm actually glad to see that some people found assistance at singlemomz.


>You do a damn good job helping parents.

I just hang out here; you guys do all the heavy lifting.  :)

joni

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RE: EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION
« Reply #18 on: Jul 29, 2004, 06:42:29 AM »

something I have noticed on this board is the disproportionate number of custodial momz posting on our expert boards....soc....dr. d.....dr. reena.  I use to cruise the singlemomz board and noticed on many occasions a poster recommending that the singlemomz use SPARC for the experts or for the resource archive.

MYSONSDAD

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Honestly sitting back...
« Reply #19 on: Jul 29, 2004, 08:29:23 AM »
I am not referring to ALL Mothers. I am not anti-Mom. I have a wonderful, very supportive Mom.

The issue at hand is the Single-Momz board.

As per previous post:

"There are many Moms on this site and I have a strong respect for many of them. Their constant encouragement and support speaks volumes. Their ADVICE is irreplaceable."

"The Moms that truly do want what is best for their children will find their way here. Get good advice on what is in the ''Best Interest of the Child".



"Children learn what they live"

hisliltulip

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #20 on: Jul 29, 2004, 10:24:33 AM »
"Someone mentioned that "they'll all start coming here". Guess what,, they have been here all along. Most of them deal not only with their own custody situations, but help a bf, a dh, or even just a friend."

You're right PD, as you know, I have frequented both, and I frequent a couple more.

I come here for legal advice for DH's situation with YSS.  Which the help is immeasurable from here.  As many of you know, DH won custody of YSS.  Without the advice I received here, there is NO WAY he would have won.

I also come here for advice on how to deal with MY ex.  Checking to make sure I am not a PBFH, or a rug.

I went to singlemomz for advice on how to deal with day to day stuff related to the boys.

Yeah, there are opinionated people there.  There are also opinionated people here.

My DH was actually a man who didn't trust any woman after his second marriage...  I was a woman that didn't trust any man after my first marriage.  Now we are married to each other and very happy.

To be in 3 different situations with custody, my spectrum has grown, as has DH's.

NOT all single mom's are bad.  Just as NOT all single dad's are dead beats.

All right, all right.  I'm done rambling here.

BETH

3 Boys!

OSS - NCP
YSS - CP
DS -CP

wendl

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ok my 2 cents
« Reply #21 on: Jul 29, 2004, 11:40:33 AM »
The're were some nice ladies and men on singlemomz, but the're were also some hmmm I won't say.

The ones I will not name, didn't like me becuase I spoke my mind. They just thought of me as a evil stepmom standing up for my dh. HOWEVER those certain Ladies, wouldn'r recoginze that I was a SINGLE mom from the conception of my son until he was 8 when I married my DH.

As a CP who's ex is a true dead beat and as a stepmom whos DH is a wonderfull dad I have experiences both sides.

Aslo what gets me is a lot of time woman whine about NOT getting cs or partial cs, well I would be happy to get some HOWEVER, I was raised to not depend on anyone to support me or my children BUT ME. I strongly feel both parents need to support and raise there children equally. I can't stand when cp continuously whine about cs, Many ncp cs is to high for them to live after paying it, many ncp have to live with roommates, family becuase they cannot afford to pay for rent on their own.

The sad thing about the legal system is
1) cs is based of what IF the parents still were together
2) visitation is NOT based on what IF the parents were together, many time ncp's are reduced to visitors in their childrens lives. Which is terribly sad as it take two to make a child and two to raise them.
 and on and on and on
:)

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

babymine

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RE: ok my 2 cents
« Reply #22 on: Jul 29, 2004, 12:45:36 PM »
PD- nice to see your name again.  I went on vacation, came back, and no singlemomz.  You gave me some really useful advice on that site, and I thank you.

I am a single mom.  I hope it is okay to post here.  I am not anti-dad, or a feminazi, or a uterus opportunist (that one really did make me laugh-you definitely have a way with words).  I have an odd story, and I believe in being polite and sharing it.  My ex and I were never married, so we didn't have to go through the whole divorce thing.  We have a beautiful 1 yr old son together.  We dated for 3 yrs, and we were engaged when I got pregnant.  We hadn't planned on this, and he wasn't very happy about it, so we broke up.  He decided he wanted to be there when our son was born, so I said okay ( I thought that would help him to form a bond).  On the day we were to leave the hospital, he said he wanted me and our son to come home with him.  I decided to give it a chance for our son's sake, and to be honest, I really did love him.  One month later, he decides it was a mistake, and asks us to leave.  He didn't have anything to do with his son for 8 months.  He decided that he really did want to be a part of his son's life, and for the past 4 months, has been a really good father.  We have worked out a parenting plan (with some good advice from Lawmoe and PD), and things seem to be going well.  I decided from the beginning that if he wanted to be a part of our son's life, I would do everything I could to facilitate that relationship.  You see, I love my son.  His physical and emotional well-being is my priority in life- as it should be with all parents.  No matter that his father wasn't very good to me.  He is good to our son, and in the long run, that's what's important.  We share legal custody, and I have mutually agreed upon physical custody.  His father works alternating days/nights, and he and I both agree that he can see his son when he is off.  I will not limit him.  I NEVER want to have to explain to my son why mommy kept daddy out of his life.  He does pay some child support, but it is less than half of what the state mandates.  This is our agreement.  I work full time as a researcher (science) and have a bachelor's degree, but he still makes way more than I do.  We simply sat down, agreed to terms, and brought it to the attorney.

I believe if more parents could realize that no matter what someone did to you, your child comes first.  If the other parent is a good parent (i.e. no drugs, abuse, neglect), it is truly in the best interest of the child to have a relationship and strong bond with them.  The children are innocent, and it will only cause them mental anguish to deny this.  They shouldn't have to grow up with holes in their hearts.  That said, courts should  take the time to TRULY decide each case on it's merits, and TRULY looked at what is in the best interest of the children, instead of going for the quick fix or bowing to convention and precedent.

I've read some of your posts, and can see why some of you feel the way you do.  I honestly don't know what I would do if I couldn't see my son everyday.  I will keep you and your children in my prayers.  Until the courts wise up and look at what's best for the children, keep up the fight.  They are worth it.  Maybe I will be able to offer some advice to someone one day, just as PD and Lawmoe did for me.

babymine  

wendl

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RE: ok my 2 cents
« Reply #23 on: Jul 29, 2004, 03:23:53 PM »
Babymine,
You sound like a good mother and a person who is putting your child 1st and not how you feel towards your ex. Many times when one parent remarries the other parent feels threatened  (which is silly how could it be bad for so many people to love a child, the more love the better)

My ex and I were never married either, I have tried him to get him to be a part of our sons life, but after 12yrs of nothing, I gave up.

keep up the good work

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

speciallady

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I agree.....
« Reply #24 on: Jul 29, 2004, 05:54:33 PM »
and I'll tell ya what I read on that forum that really biased my opinion of that site.
Mother's who are breastfeeding need to do whatever they can to use this to keep dad from child.
The new wife is the reason they have so much trouble with their ex now.
(not directly quoted but the idea is there)

Sheesh, my husbands ex posted there for a while too (not a single mom as she posed to be) and ya wouldnt believe the pitty party she was asking for-based on her twisted perception of things. Made me wonder about a few other posters there, too and just what the real story may be? A few, in fact, went from here to there......

I see mafia is gone now too---woohoo!!!!!

sweetnsad

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RE: I agree.....
« Reply #25 on: Jul 29, 2004, 06:33:03 PM »
"Made me wonder about a few other posters there, too and just what the real story may be? A few, in fact, went from here to there......"

So what if they went from here to there??  Perhaps they were there first and came here for some helpful resources....how do you know?

Of course it's easy to assume that perhaps not everyone is honest, but the best we can do is trust that what they are saying is true.  Everyone has their own story to tell.  

It's always easier to judge when you are on the outside looking in.

Peanutsdad

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RE: I agree.....
« Reply #26 on: Jul 29, 2004, 07:45:05 PM »
Typically tho,, if the story is too far off from the truth,,, then none of the advise will really help.

Thats why I dont get all bent,, cuz if they blow smoke, their case be nothing but smoke.

jurroppi1

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RE: A Tragic Development - Check this out...
« Reply #27 on: Jul 29, 2004, 08:51:35 PM »
Not sure why you responded to my post, but I can tell you that my experience, along with a fairly large number of other individuals, some females, some single mothers were very different from yours while there.

While it is true I was among the many men debunking the outright slanderous untruths being told at singlemomz, I have seen several different men try to approach the message boards there at different angles, all to just be shunned, ridiculed, called names, sworn at,  banned, etc...

Since my original post here was in regards to the empirical data (statistical)/technical end of things regarding the domain singlemomz.com, I am surprised that you feel the need to proselytize to me about singlemomz. If you simply replied to the latest post at the time, then that's a different thing I suppose, but it still leaves me wondering.

skye

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RE: A Tragic Development - Check this out...
« Reply #28 on: Jul 30, 2004, 08:40:17 AM »
I honestly did not mean to reply to ypu directly nor was what I said directed at you.. It was the last post at the time. I was just making a tatement on my thoughts on the subject and if you remember I have brought it to attention when one attacked this sight for no reason.. I am not choosing sides, I am not saying any one is wrong I am stateing that all people feel different and some have good cause, on BOTH sides sorry if you took it personal

MYSONSDAD

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RE: I agree.....
« Reply #29 on: Jul 30, 2004, 08:57:08 AM »
I saw that one too. A poster suggested a breast pump, got slammed and they had to convince her how that would not work.

You are 'Right On' with the new wife coming into the picture. Funny how that changes everything.

I personally, did not like the nick names they gave the daddys. With easy access to the internet, it would not be good for kids to be reading what their moms are saying about their dads. Too easy to leave the computer on and walk away. Wish I had a nickel everytime the phone rings while I am on line.

There was one moderator there that I liked. She was very knowledgeable and gave good, solid advice, without prejudice or bias.

"Children learn what they live"

Bolivar OH

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which moderator did you like?
« Reply #30 on: Jul 30, 2004, 03:13:39 PM »
MYSONSDAD,

which moderator did you like?

Just curious.


nosonew

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #31 on: Jul 30, 2004, 04:33:39 PM »
I agree with PD it was a site that was more emotional support than anything else, and that was fine.

 HOWEVER, I personally went on there hoping to catch those women, just ending relationships, etc., who were getting advice from SMZ about how to go about that, like  "Take your kid with you and NEVER let that looser see him/her again!" and "Move away and never let him know where you are going, after 6mo-1 year file for BACK c.s....and he will never get visitation that isn't supervised, because he hasn't seen the child..." Those things bother me greatly, especially when the original poster stated that the father of the child was "a great dad" but she hated him for whatever reason.  

I would privately pm them and discuss with them the necessity of a father, their own relationships with their fathers,  etc.  I hope at least a few of them did not take the advice given...and took my "sparc" advice instead...TWO parents should raise the children!


Peanutsdad

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #32 on: Jul 30, 2004, 05:02:27 PM »
I did much the same.

While there, I recieved a LOT of pm's from moms that really wanted REAL help. That more than anything made me decide to continue posting there.

Once a week I would empty my inbox there simply because of the numbers of pm's. That more than anything else told me they had a lot of posters that needed some help. Whats funny, is the ones that would pm me, didnt want advise on how to cut dad out, they wanted honest advise on how to get thru the whole mess.


I am sorry to say that the new singlemomz forum on ezboard is not at all like the old one. They prefer it be only for single moms with no other outside influence. Thats their choice and I respect that. They dont want new wives, stepmoms , dads, stepdads, just single moms.

So, word to the wise, if you are not a single mom, dont bother. LOL


nosonew

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #33 on: Jul 30, 2004, 05:27:21 PM »
PD, I would follow your posts on that board, and you always gave good advice.  I was amazed, simply amazed that they "allowed" you there.  I learned my lesson after being "kicked off 2-3 times" LOL.  

I  am too busy these days with going back to school, the kids, work, and home to spend time on boards that don't want me there.   I won't bother with the new one and haven't been on the other probably all summer, didn't even know it was down until I read this post!

I just feel bad for those real single moms that need true advice, and pray they find this board rather than that one.  

Peanutsdad

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #34 on: Jul 30, 2004, 08:24:59 PM »
LOL, well, the new owner has banned me from the forum there.

So, any of my friends from there, you can contact me by email.

MYSONSDAD

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RE: which moderator did you like?
« Reply #35 on: Jul 30, 2004, 08:34:43 PM »
Here-To-Help, I believe that was the one, but may be wrong. I haven't gone there in quite some time. Maybe last November or December. So I might be wrong about that. She seemed to give good advice and on several occassions, she really encouraged for the father to stay involved in the childs life.

It is sad that the other moderators there could not have taken the same approach. Many new members feel the moderators words are gold. So it sets the tone of things to come. After looking thru their posts for 4 to 5 months, that was enough for me.

I guess I kept coming back to Sparc because there is no bias here. Everyone reaching for the same goal. The Kids...

In my line of work, I have to base my findings on facts. Things there were pretty black and white, not much gray area.

"Children Learn what they Live"


wendl

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #36 on: Jul 31, 2004, 08:14:49 AM »
Well PD, what in THEIR eyes is a singlemom.
I know they don't consider me one, as I am married now, HOWEVER, I raised my son ALONE with no help from ANYONE, no cs (well rarely) until my son turned 8 when I met DH.

However I go thru the same crap (I truely have one of those ex's that is a dead beat)  unlike many dads here and unlike my dh who does whatever he can to make sure his kids know they are loved, and taken care of BY him.

But whooooo life is bringing us a BIG change in the near future (which many of you know-but I want post it here a bm and her friends continue to read my posts)

HELLO BM and friends.

:):)


Disclaimer---These are my opinions and mine only, they are not legal advice in anyway--

katz

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RE: A Tragic Development
« Reply #37 on: Aug 16, 2004, 08:51:16 AM »
I wondered what happened! I did look in on that site, for the young kid issues (my son is 3 so like potty training, daycare etc) and received good advice there. I also liked reading the mothers perspectives in divorce, but I was smart enough to stay out of those threads as a step mom. I am always trying to understand where my sd's mom is comming from, on certain issues, and that site did help me do that.

 

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