A Tragic Development

[Brent]

I know many of you will shed tears over this, but I noticed that the //www.SingleMomz.com website is apparently gone.

I don't know if this is a permanent thing, or if their server is just down for a while. Does anyone know what happened?

[Kitty C.]

Pray that it's the former and NOT the latter.............)(

[MYSONSDAD]

My heart just breaks over this.

Now they will come here. I have noticed in the past how they copy and paste articles from here and place in their archives. of course, some of the wording changes.

They have also recommended many to come here to read, use and learn.

It won't be long, they will start something, somewhere, no rest for the wicked....

[Peanutsdad]

I dont know how long it will be gone.

Actually, it is a tragic development. That site provided a haven for a lot of moms who are just as scared as many here, who love their kids just like folks here and who deal with crappy situations, just like here.


Someone mentioned that "they'll all start coming here". Guess what,, they have been here all along. Most of them deal not only with their own custody situations, but help a bf, a dh, or even just a friend.


How do I know? Funny you should ask.
One evening, after going into sparcs chatroom, I was treated like dogshit, just because I was now the cp for my child. I'll leave that person/s nameless, but there are others here who know .
So, on a whim, I went to the singlemomz site, to hear and see for myself all the horrible people that had been described to me. Surely they must be worse than what I just experienced.

What I found, made me ashamed of myself for my preconceptions. What I found, was well over 90% of the women there, are just like the people here. The site wasnt/isnt set up like sparc, its more for the emotional and moral support of its members. The people I met,, were scared for their kids, they deal with addict ex's, jailbirds going back upriver for felonies, they deal with deadbeats, ( yes yes,, why are they deadbeats? the ones Im thinking of have ability to pay, but run), they deal with difficult ex's ( go figure,, am I sure there are any of THOSE? LOL).

What I found, was a group of people that accepted my situation and the problems I deal with where my ex is concerned.  What I found, was a group of people just like here. They have moderates, radicals and just plain folks tryin like hell to hang on. The difference is,, their plumbing is interior.  If you want to know who most of them are,, look in the mirror.


I sincerely hope the site does go back up. It serves a purpose.

[sweetnsad]

PD...thank you for saying what I've been wanting to say all day after reading Brent's post.  

It's easier to sit there and make judgements against people than it is to actually get to know them.  Your comments will make some single moms very happy.  It's nice to see that you are in their corner.  :)

[Peanutsdad]

LOL, actually sweet, Im not in singlemoms corner, nor in singledads corner. Im in the kids corner.

If my ex hadnt been such a whacko and a spaz,, my fight would have been for 50/50 placement.

I had to recognize there are times when a clearly defined cp is needed.

[Brent]

>PD...thank you for saying what I've been wanting to say all
>day after reading Brent's post.  

Actually, I have no complaint with them except for two things.

1) Many of the more vocal people on singlemomz are, in a word, anti-father. And they made no bones about it when I read the forums there.

2) They are obsessed with SPARC and would frequently copy posts over there (which is fine) and then twist them to be used as examples of how horrible people from SPARC are. I have a problem with that, and I really don't see a similar thing going on here.



>It's easier to sit there and make judgements against people
>than it is to actually get to know them.  

Very true. They're as guilty of that as anyone, though.


>Your comments will make some single moms very
> happy.  It's nice to see that you are in their corner.  :)

I agree. Although I'm not a big fan of the singlemomz site, it served a purpose for some people and no doubt they will miss it. In any case, they would be welcome here, and I'm pretty sure if they asked the owner of SPARC to help them out, he would. He's a big believer in the idea that "people need a place to go".

I don't know if any of you ever noticed the "Private Reserve" message boards here, but that's a private group for (mostly) 1st and 2nd wives. They needed a place to go and so he set them up with their own private place here on the web. These are people who in many cases have diametrically opposed views to those of SPARC, but they needed a place and so here they are. I think that says a lot about SPARC's owner and what he stands for.

For what it's worth, consider this- if a group of single dads had asked for a private space on the singlemomz site, would they have gotten it? Would singlemomz have welcomed them and given them their own set of boards? Somehow I doubt it.

[sweetnsad]

Yes, I understand completely.  I was just glad to see that you were setting the record straight for some people who think that Singlemomz was "evil"....I'm sure if they could, they would thank you.  :)

[Peanutsdad]

With every site that I hear is "evil",, I tend to go there,, check em out.


Each has its own pecular  'tudes,, but few have been actually rabid.


Sparc  has its share of radicals,, as does singlemomz. Most of the members of both,, are just folks tryin to survive.

I like to think that by frequenting as many sites as I can, I wont get myself locked into a particular mindset or attitude or belief. I like to think it keeps me focused on what has been important to me all along,, the kids.


Brent, I was in no way smackin on you in this thread,, I simply was answering other posters with my own observations.  You do a damn good job helping parents.

[Bolivar OH]

I have no problem with Singlemomz going down.  The fact they are gone means to me that there is no demand for their services.

Perhaps I am one of the radicals.

However, since I have followed your posts Peanustdad I am more knowledgeable and with the help Kitty C. has given me, I have become a more loving and understanding person. (LOL -- just a little I suppose)

However, I am a father working through anger issues with the system that took my son away from me and still I must support with my taxes (tribune).


P.S. a jokester noted that "perhaps they are no longer single"