"If her shoes need to be tied or
otherwise and I'm in the house, she directs my daughter to me".
-My point exactly! So what you're saying is she won't tie a simple shoe lace because you're home? Instead of; out of love and respect.
"What you think if i'm not there she forces my child to fend for herself? Never once did I say that".
-Did I ever say you did say that? NO.
"Who do you think told
her she couldn't go to the store with SM?"
-Why would you want to hold her back from that? Do you feel guilty about something?
"My wife, made me go to counseling with my ex to better help
our relationship for my daughter."
-Wow! She has a lot of control! To bad YOU couldn't have thought of that.
"She doesn't want my daughter out of our lives, what she wants is my daughter equal in both her biological parent's lives"
-Then why go back to your old visits of weekends? Shouldn't SHE be telling you that's not equal?
"She "stepped up to the plate" when it was necessary to do so, now that my daughter has to able bodied and minded biological parents, she's
stepping back."
- That is the worst form of stepparenting I have ever heard of. If I was a child I would be crying too...because of confusion.
"There is no way in hell I'm dumping my wife, she has been the
best educator, role model and support for what a family SHOULD
be that I have ever come across. She wants for my daughter
what her daughter didn't get BOTH parents actively involved in
the upbringing and support of our child."
-Then with that statement, SHE of all people should be there for HER stepchild...REGARDLESS! So when the day comes that SHE is classified as the "wicked stepmother" you'll then know why.
"This isn't just about my daughter suffering. Now that my ex is
back to herself, she is suffering too. which in turn, affectsmy daughter."
-Your ex has been suffering a long time, remember what you did to her. Now you know why your ex doesn't want to talk to you.
"HIRE A NANNY?!?!? what the hell good would that do? This is
NOT about my wife refusing to step up to parent my child"
-Go back and read the first line to this post.
"You can't tell me to "hire more workers" at my company when
you don't understand the complexity of what I do. And who says
I don't pay support? Yeah my CS was suspended after I took
custody, but I pay my ex alimony. Not that it matters."
-It doesn't matter, you wanted suggestions...this was one of them.
"No, my attorney didn't do what I wanted him to do. That is
because I wasn't educated enough in the area I had to quickly
dive into."
-You knew well enough to strip your soon to be exwife of all resources available for her and your child as well.
"What SHOULD have happened was a temporary custody
situation, to be reviewed in six months to see if my ex got
better before it was determined to be permanent."
- You're right but your actions of screwing the ex over in the beginning was more important. You should have had your "now wife" with you then.
"My ex, as far as I'm concerned is the "vicitim" in all
of this. next comes my child."
-Yes! Just the way you had planned it from the start, until you SEEN the reality of it. Now you don't want it.
"Did anyone ever bother to ask what the custody/visitation set
up was now?"
-Why should we have, when we were led to believe there wasn't one. Look at your first post, can you point it out to me? Maybe I missed it.
"Right now, my ex has every other weekend and
wednesday from 6 to 8. That's it. Is that fair for a parent
who is fit to parent? Hell, when I was the NCP *I* even had
more time than that."
-So still, where is it fair for both parents? As your WIFE WANTS it to be.
AND;
"My daughter was better adjusted when she hung out with mom
Mon-Fri, I came either on a wed or thurs night to go have
pizza or something then got her all weekend"
-I also think YOU were better adjusted.
"Why you want to chastize me for wanting to go
back to what makes my child happy is beyond my comprehension."
-If you feel chastized I have no control over your feelings. However, it may make your child happy but not as FREE and HAPPY as you. Why? You ask...because you still won't go for 50-50% and you even stated you would be a happy camper.
"I could choose to be the vindictive bastard and tell my ex you
made your bed, lie in it."
-You did that one already during the divorce when that's exactly what you wanted to be. Again read your first post. Now you want to go back to less time and being happy, and you can"t now be vindictive, now you have to be humble to get what YOU and your WIFE want.
"She was diagnosed and treated for severe depression."
-I know I would have gone in a severe depression had my soon to be ex done to me what you did to her.
"I could be selfish and keep my daughter with me more just because it's in the
court order now. I could try to take all the time in the
world for my kid to "adjust". But that isn't fair to everyone."
-You could, but fair is not what you or your wife want, you don't want to parent half the time and your wife doesn't either.
"I'm quite aware that there are people on this board fighting
tooth and nail for more time or custody of their child.
However, I would hope, that if they were going for custody it
is because there is something seriously wrong with the other
parent, or that they had a very limited visitation schedule
(not unlike what my ex has right now)"
-Your ex has been limited until YOU and your WIFE decided you didn't want that, because after all you wife raised her child, SHE has her tubes tied, SHE wants to travel. SELFISH!
"My wife and I both
agreed that now that my ex is better, that she would more than
likely at the very least go to court for more time, why make
her pay for it? It's best anyway."
-Yes! Why put the poor woman through he** again while you get what YOU want, AGAIN.
"As long as I can maintian that, and get to see my daughter as
regularly as before - I'm a happy camper."
-Selfish! There was no equal time then. That's all I have to say about that one.
"The advice that astounds me most of all that I've heard
several times on here, is the one about how I should dump my
wife. The one person in all of this who has been the advocate
of equal time for both biological parents."
-I still don't see where the "equal" time comes in. Equality wasn't there in what you had before and that's what you want again.
"Boggles the mind."
Mine too!