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Serious controversial question.  Do the judges take it easier on women who haven't paid??


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"In the final analysis, true justice is not a matter of courts and law books, but of a commitment in each of us to liberty and mutual respect." - Jimmy Carter

The NCP biomom in this case is way behind in arrears - approaching 14,000.  In the past, IRS returns were intercepted to apply to arrears.  This year, biomom claims that the IRS return was grabbed by the government for her outstanding federal student loans.

There is a current court order stating that she was to turn her stimulus check over to the CP.  She claims to have not received it.  The question is - if there is an outstanding federal student loan, and massive child support arrearages, is that money split or will it only pay the loans back and not the CS arrearages?

How can you tell if she cashed it herself?

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"In the final analysis, true justice is not a matter of courts and law books, but of a commitment in each of us to liberty and mutual respect." - Jimmy Carter

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=atd7gXmX2POw&refer=home

Will this be garnished for back child support arrears?  Does anyone know??  Will it require a form to be filled out or will our 2007 tax forms tell the government all they need to know and who qualifies for what?


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"In the final analysis, true justice is not a matter of courts and law books, but of a commitment in each of us to liberty and mutual respect." - Jimmy Carter

fine line of federal child support evasion.  http://www.usdoj.gov/usao/eousa/foia_reading_room/usam/title9/74mcrm.htm

She now owes over $8500 in past due support.  My question is this: if she knowingly didn't file her income tax because she knew DOR would keep it and send it to us, is that also evidence that she is avoiding paying, even though she could if she really wanted to?

If so, any suggestions for handling them?

We are owed almost $300 in past medical bills.  BM is NCP and that is her portion of the bills over the last 3 years.  Several attempts have been made to receive payment with returned receipts coming back from USPS.  

The last notification was sent via delivery confirmation.  In the agreement, if past medical was not paid within 10 days of receiving the bills, compensation through the court could be obtained.  We even offered her to simply agree to a payment plan.

Well....

She has refused to pay anything without "bills", which we included with the envelope - what the provider could offer as far as record keeping of past visits and co-pays.  And we provided copies of YSS's Ritalin meds as noted below.

Also, and this is a big one, in the Spring of 2003, YSS was having major behavioural problems and almost failed Kindergarten.  After taking him to his peditrician, the ped suggested we "rule out" ADHD (what we suspected anyway).  He sent forms to us, his teachers,  and to BM.  BM refused to participate.  He was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Ritalin.  

BM was very upset so we went further and went to a pyscharitrist and psychologist who also diagnosed YSS with ADHD (that's 3 docs now) and we all went for counselling, a couple times.  BM still refuses to recognize his problem and will not give him meds (which he doesn't need on the weekends or during the summer so that is OK).  

YSS is in grade 2 now, is still on the same small dose and is an honor roll student.  His teacher this year has experienced YSS without Ritalin (we ran out for a couple days) and she actually phoned me to ask what was up as he was out of control.  There is no doubt in our minds that he has this disorder and the meds have helped him at school immensely.

BM is refusing to pay for any of those doctor's appointments or the monthly prescription for Ritalin.

So my question to you is:

1) In your opinion, if DH ends up filing contempt, will BM be responsible for paying her portion of all bills, regardless if she "agrees" with them or not?

DH is CP.  CO states that BM will pay 40% of all uninsured medical, within 10 days of notice of bills.  CO also states that DH will carry medical on the children and it's her option to have additional coverage, 100% at her expense.  That was decided because of her employment history being sporadic and wanting to make sure the kids are covered at all times.

She hasn't paid in well over two years and is roughly $8000 behind in CS as well.  She owes an additional $300 for her portion of uncovered medical fees.  We have sent her 2 certified letters with bills attached which were returned (she never picked them up).  CSE is handling the child support case but since I provide coverage, CSE does not really represent the medical portion of the order.

She moved 6 months ago to another State, which has temporarily screwed up the arrearages case.  FL has jurisdiction but is waivering on whether to move the arrearages to the VA courts (where BM lives now and we live in FL).  

As a sidenote, BM's license was suspended in FL for nonpayment a year ago but she managed to get a VA or NC license.  BM also missed a contempt hearing in FL for CS in September, a warrant was issued but after she informed CSE of her new address and employer in VA, they dropped the warrant simply because she no longer lives in FL.  After 6 months of nonpayment, we started receiving CS two weeks ago.  Not sure if you are aware of interstate CS and medical issues but here are my questions:

1) we are in the process of updating and preparing the portion of her medical bills and going to send it again.  If she sees it with a from OUR address, she most likely will not pick it up again.  If we send the bills just as Delivery Confirmation, will that be enough for the court to accept that she was properly notified in a contempt hearing?

2) As far as the contempt hearing she was a no show for, as you are aware in a civil contempt procedure, the address she has verified on record (or CSE has verified) is sufficient to avoid having her served by a process server.  Would we have to serve her the motion for comtempt via a process server, or Delivery Confirmation/Certified via USPS?

3) Do you think VA will take the arrearages case?  If so, I was told that they will follow FL's process and suspend her license and address the contempt hearing she missed.  Is that true?  

3a) It is possible that her license was obtained in NC because when she first moved, she was living with friends in NC on the border of VA.  If that is the case, is there anything that can be done?

I am concerned about her not paying her portion of medical fees because my OSS needs braces sometime this year.  They are so expensive, she would owe us roughly an additional $50 a month for a few years if we can find a decent payment plan.  It's time really to make her pay the piper so to speak, or we will be stuck with those enormous bills as well.

Soc, these are the "facts" and although it seems like I am degrading the opponent, well, the facts are indeed facts ....

DH has had custody of minor children (6 and 11) since August '02.  He has joint legal and primary physical.  State is FL.  Previously, he was NCP for approx 2 years, which was difficult (visitation denial, phone denial, PAS type behaviors).  BM gave him custody when he petitioned for 50/50.  BM is a constant problem as NCP and enjoys undermining our relationship with the kids on a weekly basis.  YSS was diagnosed with ADHD and she refuses to give him his meds and tells him that he doesn't have it.  She refused to take part in the diagnosis but did attend about 2 of the psychiatrist appointments.  


Her latest stunt is disturbing and that's why I must ask for direction.  About 6 weeks ago, she broke up with a man she was dating for 2-3 months prior.  When the kids asked her why they broke up she stated that "he decided to go back to his wife".  This past weekend, she called the kids on Sunday morning and told them that her and this man are getting married "within two weeks".  He is an Arab from Morocco.  He has only met YSS once briefly, and has never met OSS.  It's obvious that the marriage is a fraud and he will benefit by getting a Visa in the US, and she believes that it will help her get the kids back.  

She has been living with family ever since the custody change, as she is seemingly incapable of budgeting and surviving on her own.  She's burnt a lot of bridges with her family and she isn't even on speaking terms with her own mother at this point.

The kids are in a group counseling program for children of divorce (2nd session as they did the program last year too).  Dh and I are resigned to the fact that there isn't really that much we can do with this other than be there for the kids.  My internal question remains, "What type of person marries someone without having developed a relationship with her children beforehand?"  

The kids have already been bribed because this man works for a major theme part and they have been promised that anytime they want to go, they will be able to go for free because Mom is going to be married to this guy.  So of course they are excited about that and they want to see their Mom happy.

1)   Would you demand that DH meet this man in person before allowing visitation?
2)   If he meets him, what sort of things should DH ask him?
3)   If DH refused visitation (it would be the first time ever) because BM didn't want them to meet, what would a judge say about that in court for contempt?
4)   Would you pursue the false marriage with the INS department?
5)   YSS has already stated that "he is getting a new daddy" and this has hurt my DH very much.  Do you have any advice for speaking with the child about this or for my DH?
6)   Do you have any other general advice on how to handle the impact this is going to make in all of our lives?

Thanks in advance.

DH is CP, I am CSM.  

*&/?! Biomom NCP is planning on buying the kids a dog and sending it home with them because we just put down our dog we've had for 8 years.

I am NOT having another dog.  Going dog-free for a few years.

WWYD to not come off as the bad guy and tell the kids no?

or does anyone have experience with a judge's opinion regarding one parent either publically defaming the other parent, or the NCP constantly telling the children "to hang in there" because they will be living with NCP soon?  How would a judge feel about a NCP parent repeatedly telling a child that they will be living with them soon?


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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain

if the CP was worried that you didn't have adequate supervision for the kids while you had them over summer visitation, would you be opposed to providing the CP with the name, address, and phone number of the person who would be looking after them while you were working?  

Facts
Single NCP parent, kids are 8 (ADHD) and 12 yr old boys that fight daily (with parental supervision), with no family near to help over the summer.

If a parent wanting to change a current custody order is being driven by alterior motives (like wanting to collect child support) would it be possible to subpeona that parent's credit report to show how financially screwed up they are?

Has anyone ever heard of that being done?

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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain

How old do you think kids can be in order to be left alone for several hours (yes, I know maturity matters - but pretend you are CPS).  

The children are 11 yrs old and 6 yrs old.