I am going to need some help

[Robert in NY]

Erin finally signed the Shared Parenting plan tonight. Tomorrow I will take it to my lawyer and he to the Judge to make it legal. Hopefully it will go smoothly. Thanks again to everyone who has helped me thru this and I will let you know when it is all finalized. Take care.

[wendl]

Good luck.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Robert in NY]

Today I went to see Ava on our agreed upon time. This is at Erin's parents house. When I got there (I called ahead to make sure she was home and things were ok and she said it was) I was not allowed in by Aiden's father (Brandon). He said that because I took the Jeep back that I am not allowed to see my daughter till I get a court order. Erin was no where to be found and I do not know why Brandon was the one talking to me. So I called Erins mother and asked her to call and see if she could get me in. She did and Aiden was sent to allow me in the house (send the 4 year old, that won't affect him to be in the middle of this mess), anyway Erin was upstairs with Ava so I went to see her and she was upset and went downstairs so Aiden asked me to color with him in his and Ava's room. I did as Ava was asleep and Erin went downstairs and was talking to Brandon. I did not want to get in the way downthere as Ava was sleeping anyway. About 3 minutes go by and Brandon starts yelling up stairs at me wanting me to leave his kid alone. So I did, I went downstairs and he was still yelling at me about why I am there (as Ava was sleeping next to where he is yelling from). I finally ask him what his problem is and he jumped up and threatened to attack me. Erin had to restrain him and he was asking me to step outside and settle this with him. I told him I would not fight him (some people don't grow up) and then he grabbed my arm as if he was going to lead me outside. I told him if he touched me again I would call the police. Things did not settle down and Erin took Ava upstairs to the nursery. The entire time Brandon was trying to tell me that Ava (who is almost 5 months) does not like me and likes him better and that I am no good for her. He then goes on to insult me personally and physically and this continued on for about 15 minutes. He finally settled down when he realized he was not going to get a reaction from me. I do not know what the heck happened to bring this all up. He kept bringing up Erin and my past and the Jeep and it had nothing to do with me seeing Ava on our scheduled time.

I do not know what to do. Erin signed the parenting agreement and right now we are waiting on a court date. If this happens again I am going to drop the 50% plan and go for full custody. I have been very kind to Erin during all of this no matter what was said or done to me. I am not happy with being threatened (I was not scared of him either and he knows that) but I do not want to be put in a situation where I will have to defend myself as I know when the cops show up it will be said I threw the first punch. I keep trying to get thru this right now till Ava is old enough for me to take her without her mother. Erin is supposed to be trying to get her to take a bottle but I have little confidence that is happening. What am I supposed to do if this happens again and I am threatened like I was today? I thought about calling the police and reporting it but it would be my word against Erin and Brandons. The last thing I need is to be falsely arrested. I can not have supervised visitations because Erin uses the "I don't have a vehicle anymore" excuse. I doubt if I took a family member with me if it would mean anything. I just wish the court would hurry up and get this thing settled.

I never thought I would wish Ava would grow up so quickly like I do now. If she was a little older I would be able to take her by myself and not have these problems and if she was a little older she would be living with me every other week and I would not have these problems. Once this is over I would want her to go back to growing up nice and slow again. So what does everyone think I should do to protect myself againt this again. I am supposed to see Ava tomorrow and when Brandon is not there things are fine. The problem is when he is there Erin uses him against me. Thanks and good night guys.

[almostastepmom]

I'm not sure where you live, but you need to get your lawyer to put a rush on those papers.  Go to the police and get a restraining order against that man.  If you most, when it's your time to see your daughter you have a policemen escort you their.  My SO is an Officer and has done this numerous times.  Don't forget to DOCUMENT ALL OF THIS.  
Good luck!

[Robert in NY]

Thanks for your reply. Shortly after I posted this I talked to some friends of mine who happen to be police and they told me to file this with the Sheriff. If I recall I have 48 hours to record this with them so I will do that first thing in the morning. I am not going to press charges right now as that will not help me with Ava. But it will be recorded and if anything else happens in the future I will have him arrested because of it. I talked to my lawyer and because this happened during the holidays I am stuck in a backlog of cases. They are checking on it to see if they can find when I am supposed to go to court. Everything that has happened does get recorded in my log. I keep trying to keep things peaceful till this gets thru court. If I don't then I have no rights to see Ava until after court. It is a crap shoot and I know it and I hope that my court date comes up soon so I can get this over with. Take care.

Also, I live in New York in Chautauaua county.