DD stealing medical records

[mistoffolees]

>In my post, I mentioned that the ONLY part of your post that
>I found to not be helpful was your OPINION: That I had some
>sort of boundary issues.  I thought the part about the book
>was great.  Where the advice stopped and the opinion/dig began

Really?

Here's your entire response:
"Misopheles-

I don't have an issue with boundaries. My issue lies with the fact that there is such a level of PAS in my case that if I try to set appropriate limits with the NC kids I am called in to the judge's chambers or the GAL's office for a reprimand. I have begged for counseling which would allow me to address these issues in the presence of a neutral third party who could see, and if need be testify, that what I am doing and the limits I am setting are appropriate. However, the children do not want that and neither does thier AP father who controls them like puppets on a string. No matter what I do, I pay dearly for it. My children lie without batting an eyelash to whomever they need to to keep things as they are.

When my Dh caught my DD pushing our six year old down the stairs he came and got me right away and I punished my DD by saying she had lost the priviledge of going to her friend's house. The GAL was emailed, facts were twisted, and it became about my husband not liking my DD and me beleiving him over her and about how I love my husband and new children more than the NCkids.

Everytime I get any professional to see what's going on my X succeds in getting that person out of the picture by saying they are biased. His word is all it takes. My word is never accepted even though he has been caught in lie upon lie and I have never lied.

I would consider suspending visits becasue I have been put in the position of having NO parental authority, whatsoever. That doesn't have to do with me- that has to do with what has gone on in this case for the last ten years.

I strongly suspect that you haven't been placed in a similar situation. For your information, I am a certifed parent educator, a nurse and a master's candidate in counseling. Sometimes things really do happen over which we have no control. In those cases, sometimes it seems prudent to minimize the damge that is being done to everyone involved.

I was simply asking for advice becasue I had hoped someone on this board may have had similar experiences or insight that they'd be willing to share."

Where is the part about my comments being healthy? Oh, wait. It's not there - you're making it up.

>was when you suggested that suspending a visit over  something
>which you obviously feel was so minor that it could be handled
>by reading a book was somehow not what you considered to be
>"healthy".

Where did I say it was minor? I said that it was a boundary issue - but never said anywhere whether it was minor or not. In fact, I specifically stated that you needed to take action. Since you were apparently unwilling or unable to seek professional help, I suggested the book.

>
>The other posters that I thanked for input gave me just
>that-input. In the future, on this board i wll be much more
>careful about my choice of words.  Like the author
>says...Women are from Venus, men are from Mars.

That's exactly what I said. The other posters (who you thanked) gave you the advice you wanted to hear.

>
>Can we consider the hatchet to be buried?  I never meant to
>offend you.  And I'll tell you what, I'll even let you have
>the last word.

If you didn't mean to offend me, perhaps you should reread your posts.

1. You asked for advice.
2. I offered advice.
3. You expressed concerns that I was saying you had a problem.
4. I clarified that my advice did not imply that you had a problem - but that people who had to deal with boundary issues would also benefit from my book
5. You said that I was attacking you.
6. You then thanked the people who fed back to you what you wanted to hear and ignored everyone else.
7. Instead of apologizing for overlooking me, you made up a story about how you said that my advice was helpful when you said no such thing.

As I said, I couldn't care less how you respond, but you asked for advice. I seriously think that if you're going to be able to deal with the stepdaughter, you need to deal with boundaries. Your response to me (trying to make the misunderstanding all my fault) only reinforces that.

I would seriously suggest that you need to learn about boundaries. Then you should explore your inability to listen to advice that you perceive as a personal attack - even when it clearly is not.