A Tragic Development

[Bolivar OH]

MYSONSDAD,

which moderator did you like?

Just curious.

[nosonew]

I agree with PD it was a site that was more emotional support than anything else, and that was fine.

 HOWEVER, I personally went on there hoping to catch those women, just ending relationships, etc., who were getting advice from SMZ about how to go about that, like  "Take your kid with you and NEVER let that looser see him/her again!" and "Move away and never let him know where you are going, after 6mo-1 year file for BACK c.s....and he will never get visitation that isn't supervised, because he hasn't seen the child..." Those things bother me greatly, especially when the original poster stated that the father of the child was "a great dad" but she hated him for whatever reason.  

I would privately pm them and discuss with them the necessity of a father, their own relationships with their fathers,  etc.  I hope at least a few of them did not take the advice given...and took my "sparc" advice instead...TWO parents should raise the children!

[Peanutsdad]

I did much the same.

While there, I recieved a LOT of pm's from moms that really wanted REAL help. That more than anything made me decide to continue posting there.

Once a week I would empty my inbox there simply because of the numbers of pm's. That more than anything else told me they had a lot of posters that needed some help. Whats funny, is the ones that would pm me, didnt want advise on how to cut dad out, they wanted honest advise on how to get thru the whole mess.


I am sorry to say that the new singlemomz forum on ezboard is not at all like the old one. They prefer it be only for single moms with no other outside influence. Thats their choice and I respect that. They dont want new wives, stepmoms , dads, stepdads, just single moms.

So, word to the wise, if you are not a single mom, dont bother. LOL

[nosonew]

PD, I would follow your posts on that board, and you always gave good advice.  I was amazed, simply amazed that they "allowed" you there.  I learned my lesson after being "kicked off 2-3 times" LOL.  

I  am too busy these days with going back to school, the kids, work, and home to spend time on boards that don't want me there.   I won't bother with the new one and haven't been on the other probably all summer, didn't even know it was down until I read this post!

I just feel bad for those real single moms that need true advice, and pray they find this board rather than that one.  

[Peanutsdad]

LOL, well, the new owner has banned me from the forum there.

So, any of my friends from there, you can contact me by email.

[MYSONSDAD]

Here-To-Help, I believe that was the one, but may be wrong. I haven't gone there in quite some time. Maybe last November or December. So I might be wrong about that. She seemed to give good advice and on several occassions, she really encouraged for the father to stay involved in the childs life.

It is sad that the other moderators there could not have taken the same approach. Many new members feel the moderators words are gold. So it sets the tone of things to come. After looking thru their posts for 4 to 5 months, that was enough for me.

I guess I kept coming back to Sparc because there is no bias here. Everyone reaching for the same goal. The Kids...

In my line of work, I have to base my findings on facts. Things there were pretty black and white, not much gray area.

"Children Learn what they Live"

[wendl]

Well PD, what in THEIR eyes is a singlemom.
I know they don't consider me one, as I am married now, HOWEVER, I raised my son ALONE with no help from ANYONE, no cs (well rarely) until my son turned 8 when I met DH.

However I go thru the same crap (I truely have one of those ex's that is a dead beat)  unlike many dads here and unlike my dh who does whatever he can to make sure his kids know they are loved, and taken care of BY him.

But whooooo life is bringing us a BIG change in the near future (which many of you know-but I want post it here a bm and her friends continue to read my posts)

HELLO BM and friends.

:):)


Disclaimer---These are my opinions and mine only, they are not legal advice in anyway--

[katz]

I wondered what happened! I did look in on that site, for the young kid issues (my son is 3 so like potty training, daycare etc) and received good advice there. I also liked reading the mothers perspectives in divorce, but I was smart enough to stay out of those threads as a step mom. I am always trying to understand where my sd's mom is comming from, on certain issues, and that site did help me do that.