Is this a fair statement re: child support

[Peanutsdad]

Sorry, I guess I should have clarified it. When I got custody of my daughter and the child support order dropped on me, the court here ordered my ex to pay,, guideline support.  THAT was not in my motion. I have since learned,, that the courts here no longer allow a case thru without cs.


So,, had your DH had to go to court here to get his cs order dropped, they would have ordered his ex to pay,, regardless.

[Bolivar OH]

Thanks again NeverGiveUp, for so eloquently stating reality as it is.  You are able to put into words what I am feeling/thinking.

Hopefully society will acknowledge Dads for their nurturing support they give to children.  Not a wallet that supplies money.

[purrrfectgirl]

There are PACE charters in almost all mjor cities in Ohio, including Akron, Cincinnati, and Cleveland.  I'd imagine there's one in Canton.

[KIASTAR]

I am a CP and NCP. I never bug the dad about CS and have never had it "uped" in 7 years.Our child is 10. When he can pay, we send a thank you letter(he lives out of state) and I keep EVERY receipt and write down every amount and what it is used for. I usually send him a copy if he asked but he doesn't ask very often. There are still some of us(CP's) that do spend the CS on the child,where it should go. I will NEVER take him to court or have him put in jail for non-payment.That is just stupid and serves no purpose then to stiSLURPize his our child. I hope some of the women(and men) stop treating the other parent as "fisrt Bank of *submit name*!

[Mom2004]

Children are supported by their parents, not step parents. Step parents are under NO obligation to share their income with a stepchild. Heck most 2nd marriages I know, they keep their finances separated.

[Mom2004]

So you feel that parents should be able to financially walk away from their children? You do know that if a parent neglects their child, that is illegal. Some parents refuse to support their children, why is why CS was done the way it is. Heck I know for a fact as a CP, that if I walked away financially, I would be on charges of neglect.

Just like, we all know that murder is wrong, but people still do it which is why we have this thing called laws and punishment.

[NeverGiveUp]

While I agree that they are under NO obligation to share in support, I disagree with the last statment.  Who cares where they keep their money, there's still a two income family established.  Your statment implies that the step parent is keeping all of their income stashed away. I hardly doubt that's the way it happens.  CS is not just for food and clothing it's to provide a roof.  So if the roof is suddenly costing the CP less money, which it is if the step parent is paying for part of the rent/mortgage, shouldn't the NCP get a break?

[KIASTAR]

Bolivar OH, What is so wrong with paying CS IF the other parent is paying their share too? My daughter is disabled(from her dad---bipolar,not blaming mind you it is genetic) and w/ out her dads help,I could not do some of the things she needs! I do apprciate his help and we write thank you notes for every check.I do,however, pay MUCH MORE toward her life. I also pay child support for my daughter that was kidnapped at age 2 and I found her at age 10, it was a parental kidnapping. SO,I am on BOTH sides of this issue. What are your thoughts?

[NeverGiveUp]

Nothings wrong with parents taking care of their children.  Who's saying there is?

[KIASTAR]

That is pretty biased. I,as a single mom, ALWAYS spend the money(if any) on our daughter! I keep receipts and write down what it is spent on. In my case, my EX CAN afford to pay the 234/month but would rather pay off his bosses and use other ppl's SS#'s. I even offered to lower it(I have never had it raised or done a cost of living even when the CS ppl tried to get me to) and try to take some off the arrers.

 He got pissed and indignant and told me to f**k off and hung up. He is bi-polar(like our 10 yr. old daughter) and gets manic. I am disabled and HE choose to leave the relationship( he is on his 17 GF since 1997) and move 1000 miles away to be with "the love of his life."

I have tried to foster a relationship between his daughter and him but he just gets mad.He is always mad. He is still doing heroin and drinks(but says he is sober) He is on Felony probation for DUI, driving on a supended licences, and 10 pounds of pot in the trunk.

 What more would you have me,as a single mom struggling to take care of OUR disabled daughter, do to help him? Without some support from her dad,she is missing out on things that she should be able to participate in. Is this fair to her while dad buys a house w/ GF #17, 2 new cars(I don't have a car),a 5,000.00 computer system, and Nextell Phones,etc? I want him to have a good quality of life,but our daughter deserves one too.Don't you think so? So, what could I do to make it "fair?" Thanks