Is this a fair statement re: child support

[katz]

Hi, I am new to this site and would like some perspective on child support issues. My husband has (and has had since divorce 6 years ago) primary custody of his daughter, while both mom and dad have joint legal.

Originally my husband was paying support to his ex, yet his ex was not taking their daughter for any visitation. My husband got the child support dropped, and there is none ordered for the mom or dad to pay at this time. (well court ordered to pay daycare/medical splits but mom never does)

On to my question though: Is if a fair statement that cs is ordered so that the children continue living in a 2 income home (as they were before the divorce)? And from that do you draw the conclusion that if a step parent comes along, the child is now in a 2 income home again, thus no need for NCP cs?

[ConcernedCP]

No, cs is ordered for the care of the child(ren).  It is the parents' obligation and responsibility to provide this care, not a stepparent.  

[NeverGiveUp]

CS should not be mandated in any way shape or form.  It states that "we", as parents, are unwilling to provide for our children without giving us the oportunity to do so.  I, for one, am personaly insulted by the very notion.  I detest the concept at face value and I'm sicked by those, even some one this forum, that declare it is justified by our obligation to our children.  I see no one ever looking into my neighbors home to determine what % of his income is being spent on his children, or where it's being spent.  Nor is there any mandate insisting that CS be accounted for by the CP.  For all we know they spend it on themselves.  

So in short, to answer your question.  No, it's not fair.  So write your elected officials and tell them if they don't get it together you'll vote for someone that will.

[rini]

Hi

I have to disagree with you on that one.

while i do agree that the whole entire system needs overhauled Child Support is mandated because it became necessary to enforce it.

there are way too many people that did take advantage of the system before the archaically styled one that is in place today became law.

You are what one would assume to be a responsible parent that is willing to take care of the child(ren) that belong to you.  There are far too many that are not willing to and had not been willing to when the system that we have in place today was written into law.

Unarguably the system is extremely flawed but it is a necessary evil that has helped many children see support from a parent that might not have contributed any thing.

God Bless you for being a caring enough parent that you know what is right and wrong.

(to the original poster...........  You as a step parent are not financially responsible for the child and in most states your income will not be taken into account when establishing a court order for your spouse to recieve child support that he is entitled to... If any thing he needs to apply for child support and put the money away for a college fund for kid.  Not collecting it is not a smart move if the child decides to move with the other parent when they are a teen and can make that decision i can guarantee you that they will seek support..

then it will be too late to have the support you should have gotten credited or offset!!!))))))))

God bless
rini

[Bolivar OH]

Dear rini,

You obviously receive and do NOT pay CS.  Nothing I could say would change your mind.  You need to be on the paying end of CS.

[rini]

hello

obviously you are mistaken  we pay 60 % of our net for child support and you need to do some research into how the child support guidelines came to be in place.  

non custodial parents were not supporting their children voluntarily.

I totally disagree with the methods used and the calculation but if there was no system at all in place far less children would be recieving any support at all.

rini

[Peanutsdad]

I have BEEN on the paying end of cs. I paid it on time and in full. As a result of family court,, I lost my cars, and now drive a 20 yr old car.


Now,, the shoes on the other foot,, and my ex,, who thought cs was such a great idea when I was the one paying,, now thinks its horribly unfair. As a result, she hasnt paid a dime,, ever.


As a child,, I watched friends whos parents divorced. Without fail, EVERY single one of them had a severely reduced lifestyle or ended up on public assistance. Why? Because no mechanism was in place then to ensure parents took care of their kids. So,, the TAXPAYERS ended up supporting them. As a TAXPAYER, I dont WANT to support YOUR kids. I have enough to do supporting my own.

[tjraid18]

  There should be tons of opinions on this one. My opinion. First thing you should know when your talking about child support is that way back when, mothers whose husbands had left them had literally no recourse in getting those husbands to be financially responsible with the expenses of the child(ren). This, coupled with a social stigma against being on welfare and the womens rights movement of the time ---- led to the department of justice ---- Child support becoming more powerfull than the I.R.S. There are no if's and's or but's. You are a male. You meet a female. you have a child(ren). You part ways. It's over!!!!
   I personally paid $300.00 a month more than I was supposed to for nearly three years. I called child support all the time and tried to get it straightened out. They completely ignored me. Once, they told me I could live in my car ---- and laughed about it. when I did get a lawyer to get it modified (which was nothing short of a miracle) THEN they listened. My child support is still screwed up with the arrears that I should'nt even owe in the first place. It effects my tax returns and my ability to be a father to my kids. I've seen a lot worse than that though. I know a guy whose ex wife was into drugs really bad and he ended up getting custody of his daughters. But continued to pay his ex wife $800.00 or $900.00 a month because she wouldnt sign a piece of paper for two years. Child support did nothing to stop it. I've heard horror stories that are just unreal. I've seen guys entire lives completely, and carelessly ruined over the criminal unfairness of child support. On one of SOC's posts, he told someone that child support recieves 15 cents for every dollar from the federal government that they collect. Our children ARE just numbers. It's sick.
   The scales were tipped one way to an extreme ---- now they are tipped the other. And guess who's still suffering for it? Our children. My ex lives in a very nice new, three bedroom townhouse with a garage and a hot tub in the back yard. She is on HUD, food stamps, and other state assistance. The state frequently pays her water, phone, electric, and or garbage bill. She drove a brand new Honda civic off the lot in 1998. She pays $300.00 per month plus full coverage insurance. She has brand new furniture she is also paying on. Meanwhile my kids have little more than a roof over their head. They are doing awfull in school. Have few friends. ETC, etc. It's obvious where the child support is going.
   Believe me, child support does not have the childrens best interest in mind. They serve their interest first. Then the single custodial mothers. Thats as far as it goes. So if the ex were to get remarried ---- the money that would come into the relationship would not change things. And no--- child support is not fair.

[Peanutsdad]

I've heard horror stories on both sides of the isue and personally know people that have those stories on both sides of the issue. The system is flawed, yet it is the only one we have currently. It HAS resulted in more kids being taken care of than were being prior. Personally, I think it has resulted in more fathers being involved with their kids than in previous decades.


Where I have a problem is this: Two parents split up. For whatever reason, the child/ren end up primarily with one parent in most cases. the other parent is ordered to pay support for the same child/ren.

Fast forward now: the cp doesnt make ends meet, for whatever reason. The ncp deosnt support, for whatever reason. Now, for whatever reason, those same kids,, are on welfare. Im now stuck supporting these kids with my tax dollars. They are not my kids,, why am I forced now to support them?? What? because their parents cant get their head out of their ass?

To me,, thats a greater wrong than child support. Those two parents elected to have the kids,( yes you did, when you had sex, you knew it could happen),, but,, because of their stupidity,, I have to pay?? THAT is a large part of why child support enforcement got started.


So,, the parents that refuse to support,, thus FORCING THEIR responsibility off on me, the taxpayer,, THOSE are the deadbeats.


I dont care for the cs laws anymore than anyone. BUT, it happens to be the law of the land. Comply. You dont like it? Go change it. But dont shrug your responsibilities off on the taxpayers,, we didnt ask for it.


Disclaimer: To all the parents who are responsible, this post is not directed at you, thus angry retorts are not indicated. Thank you, have a great day. ;)

[tjraid18]

    Tell me about it. My ex is making a career out of the welfare sysem. She has worked once in her 34 years and now has 4 children. She worked at a senior care facility, that her aunt was the boss of, for about two years. It was when Clinton passed the welfare to work program.
    I have paid over $45,000.00 in child support in 4 1/2 years and I make about $13.00 an hour.
    I feel like I double pay. Once in direct child support. And once again in taxes. My ex recieves child support based on my total gross. So they take approximately 1/2 of that then deduct taxes, ins. and S.S. From what I have remaining. She gets her half tax free AND gets a large chunk at the end of the year for the child tax credit. While I claim "0" and have the federal withhold $20.00 extra each 2 week pay period and still end up owing at the end of the year.
    The money does not go to the kids. I understand that some is for rent, food, clothing, and bills. But she has a $300.00 car payment, fullcoverage ins. payment, furniture payment, and who knows what else.
   Thats where at least 85% of my child support goes. Does she have to have a brand new car while shes on welfare? Does she have to live in a brand new house with a hot tub while on welfare? My kids have next to nothing -- and the state is hitting me so hard I am unable to help much at all financially. I'm not against paying child support. As long as it's reasonable. I'm also not against my ex having nice things -- as long as my kids are getting what they deserve and I am able to live, and be a father to them.
   You say youv'e seen it go both ways being unfair? That surprises me. How much were you paying when your ex had custody? How much is she paying now that you do? The only moms that I know of that don't get child support are cases where the father is incarcerated or become drifters. And I do know some girls who are in that situation. I know of about 3 of them. I know of thousands and thousands of men who are taking it right in the backside and can not even make rent. Let alone buy food or drive or ever do anything fun. If you are a woman and call child support or go to the office and fill out the paperwork ---- you can get away with murder. If you are a man ---- You are nothing more than a source of income for the state ( In the name of the childrens best interest). I respectfully disagree that current child support guidelines keep more fathers in their childrens lives.