Mother wants to give up costody - what to do?

[fusilier]

It will be tough, it will be HELL! Make sure you have the support of your new partner in doing so, or you are liable to end up in another divorce. Therapy, with a Psy.D or PhD; and not a permissive parenting type either - a specialist in problem kids. Damn skippy it will be tough, I got custody of my daughter at 7y.o., after 4 years with her BM. She was a physical and emotiopnal mess-encopresis, anxiety, OCD, anger. But in a year she made remarkable improvements, and now at 9 is a super kid. Your job would be tougher. But make sure it's what YOU want and that it is right for you; get your business straight. I'd like to say "it's your kid, you have to..." but only you know what will work. A lot of these posters are right - love, attention, boundaries, PARENTING, is what the kid is screaming for, but can you and your new family take that on? Maybe not, and there's no shame in that. She's old enough, maybe keep the door/heart open and when she eventually hits the bottom, she'll know where she needs to go.
Good luck.