Question

[gemini3]

By me fighting for more, I could lose more?  My understanding is that the Judge will try to find middle ground...I'm I wrong?

The short answer to this is yes.  In my experience judges don't try to find middle ground.  They try to maintain the status quo.  I agree with some of the other posters that your ex is offering you a gold mine.  If your attorney is encouraging you to keep fighting you must keep in mind that he/she is employed by you.  As soon as you resolve your case with your ex he/she stops getting money from you.  The lawyer gets a lot more money if you go to court than if you don't.

Your ex is offering you a great deal.  I don't think that you will do better if you go to court - as you saw first hand when you lost one of your weekends.  She is offering you quite a bit of time.  If my math is right it will work out to be more time than you have currently AND she'll be paying all of the transportation expenses.

Resolving this means less stress on you, your ex, and the kids.  It means more time, money and energy to spend with your children - where the reward will be limitless.  There will be little reward when that time, money and energy is spent with lawyers in family court.  There are lots of times when I advise people to fight ,fight, fight - and there are lost of situations where this is necessary.  Consider yourself lucky that your case isn't one of them.

[ksmarks]

Gemini, why do you feel the need for 50/50?  If you are seeing your kids and involved again why is the legal terminology important?  Fighting for your kids is great, however it is often better to not be involved in a fight, in a custody dispute which ultimately just benefits the lawyers.

Consider this, you have your kids as much as possible, spend time and energy on them, as well as your money, ( you can't buy that new computer if you need the funds for the lawyers, and that mean both you and mom are taking money that could and most likely should have been spent on the kids.)

A custody fight is just that a fight, fighting promotes additional ill will and hard feelings.  If mom is willing to give a little now, chances are she will be more liekly to give again later on.....

Just a thought

[ksmarks]

I am sorry my post should have addressed Angus, Now I have to go back and read the rest of the posts because I think I have missed  something other things as well...

[ksmarks]

Angus, I have read through all of the post again, and have to agree, your chances of winning are slim at best, even with the relocation, it is not just the enconomy that is involved it also the fact that mom has family there.  the girls are under 10, and mom has been primary.  You just reappeared, you owe arrears, and you want equaility.  I just don't see it.

If you really want to be with the kids, and are certain that the move is going to happen, I would look into relocating... then may you could still have a 50/50 split of time with the kids, other wise I think you should run and sign the offer that is on the table.

  Good luck