Unweb Father Needs Help

[Bolivar]

DD beat me to the post AGAIN.

[font size =+2]NOT[/font] (heeee, heeeee lol) (DD has a lot more knowledge/experience than me)


Nice post DD!  You are getting some great advice papaalex2003.  It is now up to you to take action.

Good luck

[DecentDad]

All previous advice still stands, in my layperson opinion.

Additionally...

Find out the proper format of your supporting declarations in support of your paternity action seeking recognition of you as the father and immediate relief in a temporary parenting plan.

1.  When you file your paternity action, include declarations in support of you as a parent-- from your wife, son's teacher(s), son's soccer coach, son's pediatrician.  You've got some work to do, obviously.  You're going to have to be forthright with each of them-- say that you have another child whose mother is denying your access, and you hope they'd be able to provide a paragraph (in declaration format for your state) about what they've observed of your parenting.

2.  Pictures would be great IF the pictures show her with you in various ages during the past few years.  Be sure to include pictures of her with her half-brother, stepmother, and stepsister.  You'll use the pictures as attached exhibits to your own declaration.

3.  It might not be a bad idea to have your stepdaughter write a declaration too.  Hers should say essentially, "I've really enjoyed the times when I could act as a big sister to (daughter's name), and I'm excited that I can share my room with her when she comes over.  I've already helped my mom and stepdad decorate her part of the room with Winnie the Pooh and move all my stuff to my side of the room so we could put a bed in there too."

4.  Birth certificate is an attached exhibit to your own declaration.

5.  If you've paid her mom by check, use all the cashed checks as attached exhibits to your own declaration to show you have been acting in the capacity of father since birth, frequently helping to support her.

6.  When you file your paternity action, also request an immediate restraining order on either parent moving outside of the county with daughter.  If you get this, it'll protect against mother taking off.

7.  Use the 2000 court orders giving you sole custody of your son as an attached exhibit to your declaration, noting that another court found you to be the best parent for your son.

So... if you don't already get the gist of what you'll be doing when you file paternity action... you want to be proactive in your first shot to make yourself superdad, to show you've attempted to be very involved with this little girl, to show your entire household welcomes her, and to show through much evidence (birth certificate, checks to the mother, pictures) that you've been acting in the role of her father since her birth.

Her mother will then have a very hard time rejecting the paternity part of it, will have a hard time coming up with a credible story on the threat you pose to the daughter, will have a hard time coming up with a credible story on why your home isn't good for her, and the only matter left to argue is just how much time daughter will spend with you and mother.

Finally, after you file your paternity action and serve it on the mother, start sending her letters in the mail with delivery confirmation, each time asking to spend time with your daughter.  By then, you ain't gonna piss her off any more than your paternity action did, and if you later show the court (via evidence) you made 8 attempts to see your child, and mother refused altogether, the court may start to view the mother as unreasonable.

In terms of the host of technical questions you may have on how to file, what form to use, how to serve, format of declarations, how to cite exhibits in your declarations, etc... you need to talk with someone intimate with Florida family law.  If you do all the work above and then retain an attorney to file it to make sure it's done right, you'll save a boatload of money right there.

Best,
DD

[rini]

hello

we filed our custody papers in Florida and we are in PA

this web site simplifies things for you as all of the papers that you need are online.

filing fees were 87.50 but that was over 2 years ago i am sure that they went up a little.

if you are both on the birth certificate that should provide you with a presumption of paternity and she would have to file the appropriate papers to challenge this.

http://www.flcourts.org/

go to self help and then take a look at all the stuff.

i can give you a hand preparing the initial filings if you are serious and ready to proceed

follow the other poster advice on attempting to schedule visitation.

my only other addition would be to send an intent to excercise visitation letter by certified (return reciept mail)

another suggestion would be to prepare a parenting plan in writing with your expectations and also a figure for child support based on the guidelines for child support for Florida.

you may email me personally if you so desire.  

you are fortunate to live in a state that offers such resources to non custodial parents and individual services in each county this is one of the only states that i have run across that does offer such detailed websites.  

read and educate yourself about the system and I will help in any way i can to get you on the road to seeing your child.

rini

[email protected]

[wendl]

Everyone here has been giving you great advice, not much more I could input on.

However I would like to welcome you to Sparc. This is a great place and your wife is welcome tooo (I am a custodial mom as well as a stepmom who's husband only gets visitation)

Again, welcome.

:)


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[MYSONSDAD]

Like another poster said, you have the experience and self education on being a great father. It is on the job training, so-to-speak. This alone, will help get you where you want to be.
 
You have great advice coming to you. Educate yourself further and never think twice about asking for suggestions. Many here to help 24/7. Search the articles. TGB links are great!

Just a thought, why not go for shared?

"Children learn what they live"