Unweb Father Needs Help

[papaalex2003]

IMPORTANT QUESTION. I HAVE A CHILD WITH AN EX GIRLFRIEND. WE ARE BOTH ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE AS THE PARENTS. WE WERE NEVER MARRIED. I HAVE PROVIDED INSURANCE SINCE HER BIRTH AND HAVE GIVEN MONEY OVER THE LAST 3 YEARS TO HER. BUT NOT ON A MONTHLY BASIC THROUGHOUT THIS WHOLE TIME. I KNOW THAT NOT GIVEN REGULAR SUPPORT ON A WEEKLY OR MONTHLY BASIS IS GOING TO HURT ME IN COURT, BUT WILL THE FACT THAT SHE HAS NEVER BEEN ABLE TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH ME EVEN THOUGH I LIVE 5 MINUTES AWAY. AND IVE NEVER BEEN ALLOWED TO KNOW ABOUT DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS OR HAVE ANY CONTROL OR SAY IN HER LIFE, BE OF SOME BENEFIT TO ME. I DONT MIND PAYING FOR MY DAUGHTER. I ALREADY HAVE CUSTODY OF A SON. BUT I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SOME RIGHTS TO HER. IF ANYONE CAN GIVE ME SOME ADVICE BEFORE I PROCEED WITH GOING TO COURT. I WOULD APPRECIATE IT

[DecentDad]

You need to file a paternity action in order to secure custodial time with your child.

Child support will begin from the date that you file your action.

Your past support will help you (i.e., you'll point out that in the past 3 years, you've made regular contributions to her care that exceeds $3k or whatever, have covered her on your health insurance, etc).

You'll need to really document the amount of time you've spent with the child to get around that same amount or more.  Witnesses would help greatly (e.g., neighbors), you can have them write declarations to accompany your paternity action, and the declarations can describe you as a great dad.

It helps that you have custody of another child.  If you have any court finding, ruling, decision, etc., or any evaluator's conclusion that you're a good parent-- that would help you tremendously in your little girl's case.

In your paternity action, you should propose a schedule that is in your child's best interest, and seek joint legal custody with specific reference to being involved in her health and school appointments, along with selection of each.

You won't get MORE than you're seeking, so ask for more than you think you can get.

Lastly, start wearing condoms if you haven't already learned from your experiences.  It's not good to be making babies with different mothers, it makes it really hard on the children.

Best,
DD

[MYSONSDAD]

You will probably have to take a paternity test.

Any further money given to her care, clearly have it on the check, Child Support. If this has not been done in the past, it might be looked at as a gift.

There is a Time Tracker here or you can also get the Optimal for documenting.  

http://www.parentingtime.net/


"Children learn what they live"

[papaalex2003]

ok what if she comes up with all sort of excuses for me not to see the baby. the only proof i have is cell phone record that i call everyday. Its been a month now since i last saw her and that was when i went to pick her up, but her mother changed her mind once i got there

[Kitty C.]

It doesn't change the fact that you have to file for paternity just to get yourself in the door legally.  Then you file a petition for custody, some up with a parenting plan, hopefully you and the BM can agree to something, but if not the court certainly will.  And if she doesn't abide by the order, she's in contempt and you can take her back to court.

ONLY until you get an order signed by the judge do you have a legal right to see your child.  Since you were never married, it is presumed that the mother has custody.  You have to fight for whatever rights you want.

You're in for a LONG ride, my friend.  Hang on, because it's only going to get worse from here...........

[DecentDad]

If you haven't started already, keep a journal (handwritten or in a computer program like Excel) that specifies the date and what occurred on that day. Example:  "Arrived to pick up (daughter's name).  Mother said that daughter was a little cranky and could not leave with me"

You'll outline all those excuses in your own declaration, filed with your paternity action, as cause for needing relief from the court to order a very clear parenting schedule.

If you were SMART, you'd ask her for time and let her leave her denials on your answering machine, via mail, or via email.

That would give you evidence in court that mother won't act reasonably with regard to nurturing the child's relationship with you.

What state do you live in?

DD

[papaalex2003]

does signing the birth certificate at the hospital as the father show paternity. I mean she received my last name as well.

[Kitty C.]

Nope, you have to get it legally done in court.  You can sign anything, DNA testing is actual PROOF that you are the father.

Also, start putting away a set amount of money every month in an account for CS.  Once you file for custody (and she WILL ask for CS), it can be made retroactive from the date filed and you would be instantly delinquent unless you have it to pay up front.

You need an atty., bud.  No two ways about it.  You have a LOT of issues here and no clue as to how the system operates.  In the meantime, read EVERYTHING here you can.  If you don't educate yourself on this and learn your rights, they can strip you of everything, including your child.

[DecentDad]

This depends upon whether the mother is willing to stipulate that you're the father.

If so, establishing paternity is easy.  No DNA test needed.

If not, it's going to be more difficult.  Birth certificate noting the parents is admissible evidence, but all the mother has to do is say that it was an error.

DD

[papaalex2003]

I LIVE IN FLORIDA. THE PROBLEM IS THAT SHE NEVER CALLS ME BACK IF I LEAVE A MESSAGE TO PICK UP THE BABY. MY 9 YEAR OLD SON CALLSA LSO AND SHE STILL DOENT RETURN CALLS