I have no idea what to do and he has my daughter

[Davy]

... OK ....  father is pitiful.

Why would a baby be left with a pitiful father while a mother runs from OK to FL to get her life in order ??

What does FL have to offer you that is not offered in OK or TX or any other state.  Why FL ???

What is the involvement of the church ??

What is the condition of the child today ??

[MYSONSDAD]

I have to wonder how this child will end up...

"Children learn what they live"

[Meighan]

y'all are about the most bitter, cynical people I've dealt with. My goodness. Have fun wallowing in it. Yup. Good luck with all that.

[MYSONSDAD]

Now that wasn't nice, true self showing?

I will say it again, I wonder how your child will end up...and just confirmed

"Children learn what they live"

[MYSONSDAD]

First of all, your lying...

Username: Meighan

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Now, that is interesting


"Children learn what they live"

[MixedBag]

You said....

"I'm Puerto Rican. Latin families don't behave that way with each other. The idea that we should all 'do it on our own' or we're somehow not fit for parenthood is one that is truly absurd and most likely the foundation of most of this country's problems with respect to the huge divorce rate, children growing up to be monsters and the all out hate and disdain we haev for each other as a whole."

You received advice on this board whether you were purple or pink....

And now you're bringing in nationality......doesn't matter.  You just slammed us and that was wrong.

[MYSONSDAD]

I agree, she came here for answers. If we are sooooo terrible, then why did she post in the first place.

She received good suggestions and then slapped us in the face...

I get the impression she is full of hate and the child will suffer.

[Meighan]

I'm lying because I didn't bother to make a profile? hrrm. alrighty then. My point is that I came here for answers..for people to ask me questions about my situation and then look at it for what it is and tell me if they knew anything regarding Oklahoma law. That was it.

I didn't come here to be told that I'm stupid and that I have no parenting skills. Nor did I come here to do the same to y'all.   I read alot before I posted and got the sense that bitterness is a major theme of this board.  I chose to ignore that and post anyways because I was desperate.  I was so self conscious about my ability to provide a good upbringing for my daughter that I was ready to walk away and let her go.

I called that lawyer and told her to tell me why I shouldn't have my daughter as opposed to my husband. I told her every single thing I could think of about my self and the situation barring the stupid crap that my husband did and I asked her to be the devil's advocate.  My self esteem probably isn't the greatest in the world and as a result, I was willing to have somebody tell me I was a piece of crap and accept it as truth...I was that terrified of confrontation.

Granted it is most certainly not y'all's fault that you didn't (and still don't) know every single detail of what went on with my husband and I.  However my posts were totally ignored.  Almost everyone that responded did so with the basic premice of their posts being something along the lines of "you ran off and abandoned your daughter."

Between my husband and my mother's family, I've always been told that I'm worthless.  It would've been nice for someone to say "I understand how you're feeling. Let's look at the situation for what it is and with total honesty and we can come up with a plan together." Of course I can't expect this from some stranger on the internet. But it isn't unfair for me to expect the aforementioned stranger to stop and think before they speak.  If someone had told me "look Meighan. these are the facts, you're not stable and you're not fit to be a mother right now. your husbad is a great guy and he's only trying to help ......etc.," and it was the truth...I'd accept it however horribly it might hurt.  I used to be prideful, arrogant, immature and retarded.  I was forced to humble myself.  If lack of humility was an issue for me y'all might have had a leg to stand on. Unfortunately for you, that is not the case.

And nobody said you were "sooooooo terrible" I never mentioned that. The suggestions I got were without regard to anything I said at all. I'm not "full of hate" and my daughter most certainly isn't suffering.  One of the reasons I was so scared to get her was because I thought SHE WOULD suffer if I brought her back to live with me; I had such little faith in my abilitys as a mother.  If I had done what y'all told me to do, I would've been back at this board not less than a month later complaining and arguing and full of drama and anger and engaging rather nicely in conversation because I put myself into the same situation that most of you are in.

 I refrained from speaking my mind before because I was scared. Of everything. I had no confidence in myself at all and would do anything to keep from dealing with confrontation or arguing. I was so paralyzed I wouldn't even make decisions for myself. As long as everyone liked me I could function. I never fought for anything before in my life. Not anymore.  Choosing to write down the pros and cons and look for people with more wisdom than I have to help me with my decision and then implementing said decision....concerning the welfare of my daughter....was empowering. I still struggle with standing up for myself but I'll be damned if I'm ever going to go back to the way I was before. Even if that means people think of me the way you do.

All I can say is that I'm honestly sad for most of you. I pray that your drama is resolved and that you find a way to deal with whatever issues have brought you here.

[MYSONSDAD]

on what YOU wrote.

>.This is why it's taken me so long to make this decision..I wanted to do what's best for our daughter within the limits of the law.

YOU ONLY CAME HERE TO GET SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO GET HER FATHER OUT OF HER LIFE. AND LET'S DO IT BY THE LIMITS OF THE LAW.
WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR DAUGHTER IS STABILTY AND ACCESS TO BOTH PARENTS. BEING RESPONSIBLE PARENTS ARE WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR DAUGHTER, NOT WHAT IS IN THE LAW.

>#273 Actually, Dad works 12 hours a day and is never home and is about to move to Texas with our daughter. Dad has been leaving our daughter with his parents for extended periods of time and then not keeping in regular contact with me. Dad has had our daughter since the very end of February when I left and we made our agreement. Considering the fact that I haven't been gone very long I'm not seeing how I would "frighten my child." It's taken everything I have to not give up and walk away with the reasoning that it would be best for our daughter.

DAD DID NOT KEEP REGULAR CONTACT WITH YOU, MAYBE HE COULD NOT FIND YOU IN ALL YOUR TRAVELS. IN YET ANOTHER POST, YOU SAY YOU WERE ONLY GONE A FEW MONTHS. IN THE ABOVE POST, YOU HAVE BEEN GONE FOR 10 MONTHS.

>I'm Puerto Rican. Latin families don't behave that way with each other. The idea that we should all 'do it on our own' or we're somehow not fit for parenthood is one that is truly absurd and most likely the foundation of most of this country's problems with respect to the huge >divorce rate, children growing up to be monsters and the all out hate >and disdain we haev for each other as a whole. I pray that this attitude >is one that you can re-examine with an honest heart. I again thank y'all for all of your advice. Thank God everything all of you said was wrong on about 34 different levels. Had I listened I would've never seen my daughter again as evidenced by my husband's irresponsible behavior. He says he can't afford child support. man. I really am happy I decided to trust my instincts. thanks anyways!

ALL OF US HERE HAVE STRONG FAMILY VALUES OR WE WOULDN'T BE FIGHTING SO HARD FOR OUR CHILDREN. I PERSONALLY HAVE A VERY STRONG FAMILY UNIT, BUT DO NOT EXPECT HELP IN REGARD TO RAISING MY SON. I CAN DO THAT ON MY OWN.

>#482 I reckon my point was that now that I wasn't exposed to hispanic culture much as a child. Now that I live in Miami, one of the reasons the latin community here distances themselves from 'Americans' (their words not mine) is because they can't understand a culture that isn't as fiercely devoted to family as theirs is.
respect to supporting her and he'll just have to answer to her if she ever finds out.

IF THIS COUNTRY IS SO BAD, WHY ARE YOU HERE? AND HE WILL HAVE TO ANSWER TO HER, NOW THAT TOLD ME A LOT ABOUT YOU.


>#481
 I already said I did not want to bad mouth the father of my child, I don't give a damn if he's feeling disenfranchised or anything else. This man has a history of being a neglectful deadbeat.

IN ONE POST YOU SAY HE WORKS 12 HOURS A DAY. DID YOU OFFER HIM ANY SUPPORT WHEN HE HAD CARE OF YOUR DAUGHTER?
SO NOW HE IS A DEADBEAT. WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU?

#484 I have to wonder how this child will end up...MSD REPLY

YOUR SARCASTIC REPLY BACK:

>#485 y'all are about the most bitter, cynical people I've dealt with. My goodness. Have fun wallowing in it. Yup. Good luck with all that.

>#490 I didn't come here to be told that I'm stupid and that I have no parenting skills.

NO ONE HERE POSTED THAT YOU WERE STUPID AND HAD NO PARENTING SKILLS. YOU SAID YOU WERE STUPID, WE DID NOT.

>However my posts were totally ignored. Almost everyone that responded did so with the basic premice of their posts being something along the lines of "you ran off and abandoned your daughter."

YOU RECIEVED GOOD ADVICE AND CHOOSE NOT TO TAKE IT. MANY HERE HAVE EXPERIENCE AND FIRST HAND KNOWLEDGE OF THE COURT SYSTEM. YOU ARE HERE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO TELL YOU, YOU ARE RIGHT.

>If I had done what y'all told me to do, I would've been back at this board not less than a month later complaining and arguing and full of drama and anger and engaging rather nicely in conversation because I put myself into the same situation that most of you are in.

OH, YOU'LL BE BACK. AND WITH MANY MORE PROBLEMS THEN YOU HAVE NOW.


>All I can say is that I'm honestly sad for most of you. I pray that your drama is resolved and that you find a way to deal with whatever issues have brought you here.

IF THE POSTS WERE SO UNBEARABLE FOR YOU, YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE REPLIED BACK.

AND AS FAR AS THE PROFILE LIE, YOU CAN OPT TO LEAVE THE SPACE BLANK.

WITH EVERYTHING I READ, YOU ARE A VERY CONDESCENDING PERSON. WITH THE DOUBLE TALK YOU DISPLAYED, I WONDER HOW MUCH TRUTH IS IN WHAT YOU IMPLIED ABOUT THE FATHER.

And I do wonder how your child will end up. It's clear you change your tune on what the current need is. You offer no stability. But, your in this country and did you not post negative remarks about the children and how they are raised?

What will you do...

[MixedBag]

We're not the people she described whatsoever....she blew it here.