Father moving away with daughter

[rainewayward]

Due to financial issues, I gave up custody of my daughter in 2000.  I have since moved away, married, had another child, and returned, so that now my oldest daughter lives less than 30 minutes away from my house.  This has been the case for approximately 18 months.  She spends every other weekend and all summer at my home.

Her father has just informed me, due to emergency circumstances, that he is moving his family from the Jacksonville area to central Florida.  This will result in a 2 hour drive one way. He declared that I will still get visitation with my daughter every other weekend, and that he will provide the transportation, because he has a stepdaughter who lives in Jacksonville.

In addition to the move, I was informed (not consulted, though we have shared parental responsibility) that my daughter will be attending Florida Virtual School (online public school at home) for her 7th grade year.  This raises an opportunity for me to spend more time with her, as I'm also homeschooling my 5 year old daughter who resides with me.  I proposed a shared residential custody plan with him, which consisted of two weeks with him and two weeks with me.  It would require no extra driving and she would be able to attend her online school from either house.  He said he'd think about it.

Regardless of his agreement or not, I would like to pursue this avenue.  If he agrees, I want it official so that he can't back out once he's settled so far away.  Since he is the one relocating, I want it in writing that he is responsible for travel expenses, as I was the one paying when I moved.  I know the courts prefer 50/50 arrangements and that is all I'm requesting.  If he disagrees, I would like to have the knowledge to pursue it without his consent.

I'm not asking to take my daughter away from her father.  She has two stepsisters with whom she is very close and I do not wish to break that bond.  Nor do I want to stop the move.  I only wish for her to spend equal time with each parent, which I believe is in her best interest.  I don't mind representing myself through mediation.  I would appreciate any advice I can receive, so that everything is in order when I do pursue shared custody.  Thank you.

Jessie

[rainewayward]

One more question: Would I need to file in the county where where we're both living now?  Or would it need to be in the county where they're going to live?

[MixedBag]

IMHO -- not an attorney.

Whatever he promises, get it in writing and enter a "Joint Motion to Modify" your current agreement in the county where your child currently lives.

[Davy]

To me your story is refreshing and an inspiration exemplifying parents functioning for the child.

If I were you, I would contact (probably in person) mediation services in J'ville  ... requesting the procedures/forms/fees etc for both  agreed
terms and for disputes.  I would also seek info. concerning proper venue just in case things don't go smoothly before the relocation.  Try
to gain info. on any and all alternatives that may arise and make it as easy as possible on dad to comply .. I think that is the best way to obtain your goals.

Keep in mind, that since his move is based on a family emergency he may desire to conduct the move with as much ease as possible.  (he seems the type).  I would definitely want to COMPLETELY finalize the agreements/disputes prior to the relocation.

Personally, I agree, in principle with your plan that she spend as much time as possible with both parents.  Remembering my daughter at that age and in light of the stepsisters, you and dad may think about discussing this change and the permanency of the change  with your
daughter.  Hope this has helped.

Best to all !!!

[rainewayward]

>Personally, I agree, in principle with your plan that she
>spend as much time as possible with both parents.  Remembering
>my daughter at that age and in light of the stepsisters, you
>and dad may think about discussing this change and the
>permanency of the change  with your
>daughter.  Hope this has helped.
>
>Best to all !!!

Unfortunately, that is one subject on which we do not agree.  I feel that my almost-teenage daughter is mature enough to have her opinion heard on matters such as this.  He feels that she is still a child and she needs to sit quietly and do whatever the adults decide is in her best interest.

Thank you for your kind words and relevant advice.  

[MothersGetARawDealToo]

Good luck!  it is nice that you both are so reasonable with each other.  Please get this agreement official with the courts before she leaves - just in case anyone changes their mind for a not so ethical reason.  Good luck!