can child support be denied

[Kitty C.]

Can your ex ask for NO CS???  Sure, he can.....but that doesn't mean the courts will go along with it.  It's happened before........parents agree that no CS should change hands, thereby deviating from the established state guidelines. Only to have the courts rule otherwise.

There's another thing you fail to realize.  States get money from the feds for every dollar they collect in CS.  You think they want to give that up if they've got the chance???  Hell no!

Sure, every situation is different, but there also are a LOT of similarities.  So let me ask you this:  if you and your ex were still together, happily married, had purchased this home based on a good job that one of you got, then a couple years later got laid off from (and now not able to afford the home), would you sell and downsize into something you COULD afford?  Think about it.........

Everyone will go thru some life event that will cause them to re-evaluate how they live.  It happened to my own family and myself.  That's life and you ADJUST.  We/I have gone from well off to scraping by to comfortable to one step from homelessness to getting by to just barely comfortable.  Things have had to be bought and sold throughout those cycles in order to get by.  THAT'S LIFE.

[POC]

What is so moraly defensible about a system which is based upon the tobacco and alcohol consumption of parents?

[Peanutsdad]

ROFL!!!


The system is not morally defensible, it's an abomination.


YET..... it IS currently the law of the land, and I am fairly certain not laws that ncp's pushed for.


I have often said,, the current laws will not change until just as many moms are ncp as dads.

Womens political power has been used over the last 100 years to effect many of the changes within this country.




Leslie, as to your question whether a no cs order can be agreed to,,, most jurisdictions have done away with that  in the last couple of years. What you CAN do with agreement with your ex, is pay the cs, and he in turn returns it to you. There is nothing preventing him to do what he wishes with the money,, including giving it back to you.

[POC]

Exactly PD, that's why no one should be insinuating that Leslie is somehow trying to shirk financial responsibility. If there is no moraly defensible basis to the child support guidelines, you can't fault people for not wanting to pay it. Kids would be far better off if parents were left to determine what and how much to spend on their kids, rather than big brother.

[Peanutsdad]

POC,


That isnt my point at all. Leslie was perfectly ok with the current system when she was collecting. Her dismay with the system didnt come until she was the one being extorted.

Be that as it may, I did offer her a solution that satisfies the legal requirements of her cs order.


Until the laws change,, what we think is right or wrong is immaterial. It's what we have to work within.

[POC]

Yes, I understand that is your point. I've always focused on the big picture, rather than individual situations. The fact that she may have benefited from the system in the past does not change the fact that it was wrong then, and is still wrong now. But, so far in this thread, everyone's focus has been about her and her ex. Meanwhile, the proportionment of child support funds would have left the kids to go naked, hungry and homeless at the NCP home, if not for the NCP coming up with other means than what the CS guidelines account for.

Regardless of ill feelings toward Leslie for what ever may have been wrong in the past, it is inexcusable to short-change her kids while they are at NCP homes.

[Peanutsdad]

See thats the point POC,, she saw nothing wrong with the system when she benefited from it.


You are preaching to the choir friend;)  

Every NCP out there knows the system is wrong, unfortunately, MOST CP's and just as importantly, most politicians DONT. And just who are most of the cp's?

Until enough get to experience the ncp way of life, it wont change .

[POC]

PD,

What's happening to NCP's, and more importantly their children, is not a whole lot different than being told to get in the back of the bus. But, I don't think Rosa Parks chastised the white folks who were willing to march with her for equality. Many of those white folks has been allowed to sit in the front of the bus.

In the context of post divorce parenting, Leslie had been allowed to sit in the front of the government's bus. Now, she's been given a different label and is being told to get in the back of the bus. All I'm saying is let's not focus on what may have been wrong before when she is entering a scary new chapter in her life. Obviously, she is becoming acutely aware of issues that she had never been forced to consider before. Like it or not, she is now one of us.

If we all don't hang together, we will surely hang separately - Ben Franklin

[sweetnsad]

<
Welcome to the club.....that's the life of an NCP.  

My fiance lives with this everyday....he pays through the nose and spends very little time with the children because of it.   That's the way it goes.  Also, CS isn't for your ex husband....it's for your children.  And yes, they damn well deserve every penny.  

[LESLIEONE1]

POC,
Thank you for your sincere replies. Nice to know at least one person understands I am not trying to "buck" the system. I can't change the opinion's of others. I just want to be a good mom.