SS hurt badly - what to do....

[gipsy]

your Issue is different than mine , of course my psycho tried to say when My son was sick he was not too come over , And secondly She tried to trick the doctor into a not saying my son was sick etc . and should not travel ,SOOO
    My atty said "tell her to give me the medication and the instructions and my son ", Or He  will file contempt , I told her and, she gave me my son ,I also contacted the doctor to give me a letter about other medical issues , Foolishly the mother tried to write letters through her atty that said I had taken him too the snow when he was sick and blah blah , And I again got the medical report .  Doctors won't even want to get involved , But In my case they gave me medical reports etc , just ask very nice and don't start in about a custody issue or any thing , Just ask for the mediacl report . Again My atty said " Ask very nicely for the report " And if they balk just say " , Short of a court order saying I can't have the report ,I  have a parental right to have the report "then let them answer ,  And then say "My atty said he could write you a letter explianing it if you think you should not give me the info , So the  Doctors Secretary said " ok sign the release of information form and we will give it to you " Secondly My atty said don't get upset if they don't give it too you right away , They may have to ask some one else "
    As My atty pointed out there were no restrictions in the medical file , SOOO This boils down to if you have a parenting plan filed with the court , And she doesn't go by it file contempt .
   AND The home owners insurance should pay for accidents  or damages that occur at the house this happened at ,
   I have rental properties , And you better believe I have fire and accident insurance , And I would be getting the address of the property and going to the county tax assessors office or the county clerk ,Or court ,and finding out who owns the property , And file a claim , for damages at that property , I am certain that if one of my renters was burned From accidental fire I would  cooperate with an insurance claim  , And You need to talk to the insurance agent not the home owner the claim is not to the home owner , it is to the insurance company , I would call a couple insurance companies , IE your own and ask the agents what they think , I could be wrong, but then why was it an important part of my policy to get accident insurance . And I believe I am insured for damages created on the propert by the renter ,
    AND If there is a mortgage on the property , You better bet your bottom dollar there is insurance for fire and personal injury , Banks and lenders will make you do this or they will select an Insurance carrier , If you don't have insurance I believe they call the loan due , Think of it .
   The bank is not going to wind up with  bad loan because of fire or persanal injury , And  the home owner gets sued and goes bankrupt ?
  NOT !!, The bank or lender protects there position !!! It would be very odd that the Home owner  or landlord would not have insurance ! , The insurance company May then have some recourse to person that created the damage or injury , Call some insurance agents and start asking . I would not just pay This . Oh Yeah , I am reasonably  certain Insurance coveres negligence ,

[Kitty C.]

Dipper, I STRONGLY recommend that your DH talk to the attending physician in charge of his son's case and PRIVATELY, before your SS gets discharged.  He does have that right.  It appears to me that the BM will say whatever it takes to get what she wants, even if it means lying out her wazoo to get it.

I will tell you one thing.  Our healthcare facility has a major trauma and burn center.  If your SS is getting out this weekend already, his injuries cannot be so severe as to severely limit his travel.  Sure, there are precautions to take and the main one is making sure he doesn't get some infection.  But if the precautions can be taken at the BM's or her mother's, they can be done at your home, too.  

Also, your DH needs to impress upon the doctor (especially since it's a proven fact) the absolute need for someone with this kind of injury to have as much positive reinforcement as possible to help the mental and physical healing process.  And this canNOT be differentiated between parents.  This child needs BOTH parents more now than at any other time of his life.  If it were me, I would be fighting tooth and nail over it.  Even to the point of filing contempt charges against the BM, if need be.

[dipper]

DH missed the doc today.  He went down for coffee and returned and it was already too late.  They did remove ss' surgery bandages and staples today and said things look really good.....  DH said it actually looks worse than before  - but the skin grafts took.

We are planning on turning in one of the 'rescripted' form letters concerning medical information with special emphasis on all instructions that are given to bm upon ss' release.  We also note in there that if there are special restrictions as to ss' travel, we would like that in writing.  In fact, I have typed up letters concerning this - the doc can say no -and why......or can say yes.  We have a van that allows three positions - sitting, inclining, or flat out laying down.  SS would be here for three days and two nights and dh is willing to do all the transporting until he is able to sit upright in a car for longer periods.

Also, we have decided that if he is restricted, if at all possible, we will rent a hotel room near the bm's or grandma's and spend time with ss.  

The reason this is such a touchy issue is that bm was the one who said ss could not come here within two days of the accident.  The physical therapist stated that he could, it would be good for him.  Well, bm has been getting meaner as time has moved on...and then her mother talked with the doctor and he said no traveling.  These women can have honey dripping from their mouths while stabbing you in the back....that is why we want reasons from the doctor.....and we want him to think we will verify it with another professional - so he best not be catering to bm and her mother's wishes (or lies)....

Thank you!!!

[dipper]

gipsy - thank you for the advice on the homeowner's.....we were going to send out a simple letter advising that insurance covers this and asking for the name of the insurance company.  We do know the address.  I had not thought of going to the clerk's office and researching, but now I know that is an option.  

[dipper]

SS skin grafts took!  he had over 250 staples in him until today.  I am wondering about reconstructive surgery in the future as a portion of the graft was to his chest.  DH said he actually looks worse than before, but now there is good skin there that can begin to heal.

They are saying now that he will probably be released Monday or Tuesday, so about 12-13 days total stay in the hospital.    

We have never dealt with this before, so it may be standard for the restriction on traveling.  However, with bm and her mother we cannot trust they didnt tell some tall lies to get there way with the doc.  

We are requesting something in writing from the doc - actually I had typed up short letters - one of restriction and the other allowing ss to visit......for the doc to sign......

One thing I am learning - we have rights too.  They can only push us to the side (without repercussions) if we allow that to happen...

Thank you..

[MYSONSDAD]

"Children learn what they live"

[4honor]

Has the doctor told YOU that he recommends no travel, or just ALLEGEDLY to g'ma? (If you have not heard it yourself, I would not take it as true, especially with BM's proclivitiy to fabricate information.)

OK Insurance 101 is in session.

The kind of claim you are making is a claim against the homeowner's  liability coverage. Renter's usually have personal liability on their policy if they carry renter's insurance, as well. Most personal liability policys have a $1 million limit.  You are looking to prove that the individuals involved had some negligence in their actions which caused injury or finacial harm, and they are likely to be found LIABLE in a court for those actions. An insurance company makes a settlement offer based on the probability that their insured (who they have a duty to defend) will likely be found liabile and thus they want to settle it before it becomes MORE EXPENSIVE with court costs and court awards.

A landlord's policy generally has a minimum limit of $500,000 but usually $1 million in most states. Even though a landlord rents to an individual, they are not responsible except if for some reason someone is injured on the property due to something the landlord had control over. Not the case here, BUT the insurance company will likely kick some money loose to see this go away ($15-20,000 is likely), as it will cost $25K to start to defend.

With a homeowner though , the PERSONAL LIABILITY coverage blankets most occurrences EXCEPT INTENDED crimes or actions. This "occurrence," while it was intended by the child to kick the bowl, it is likely he did not intend to injure your SS in doing so. You should be hitting the Insurance of both the child who did the action and the insurance of the homeowner if they are two different things.  

The insurance companies will demand the CP be the one who must authorize or intitiate the claims for the minor child, however once an attorney is involved, they aren't worried about who is the CP. The child will need his own lawyer, as a court will not allow a settlement on this severity of injury to be authorized without one. If you have joint legal, go see about retaining an attorney for your child for this matter.

[dipper]

BM was fibbing.....I had typed out letters for the doctor - one stating that ss was able to travel the 80 miles.  Another stating that he could not and requesting the doctor to list the reasons for this decision.  Well, the doctor mailed wrote - "NO restrictions on travel" signed and mailed it to us......she was busted.  This woman is unreal.

Thank you for the information on insurance.  I printed this out.  We did write and request the info - got no reply, but the families of the other children keep visiting with bm - they are all best buds now.  Of course, she is living/laughing it up.  After all, she thinks dh is going to have to pay the majority of it.

What I am wondering  is- if we write and request her assistance in obtaining this info, as well as requesting that she file through medicaid to have this hospital bill paid for - and she will do neither, will the judge be as strict enforcing this 75% payment of my dh's.....

I think it may do my dh well to visit with a lawyer to see if there is a case here for more than just hospital bills....

[dipper]

Thought I had replied to this earlier, but dont see it now....

SS is doing well.  His skin is healing and he is getting around.  He was with us last weekend and will be here again tomorrow.   BM's assertion that the doc said he could not travel for atleast a month proved to be untrue as the doc wrote NO restrictions on travel and signed the letter that we left for him.  

Court is still iffy.  I just feel ss will tell the judge that he really wants to live with bm.  I know it was an accident - but these kids caught him on fire, and bm has them and their families over constantly now - they are all best buddies, though the parents didnt spend any time together before.

DH requested insurance info. from the other family - they ignored it.  SS told dh that he heard the mothers of the other two children telling bm that if she needed help with the bills, they would be glad to help out.  Of course, she is responsible for very little of it.

BM would not buy bandages for ss' legs because ins. would not cover it up front and she called them and was scared dh would get the reimbursement check because he pays the premiums.

BM did not send one of ss' painkillers this weekend, telling ss they cost too much.  He did well though - his others were every four hours and he only took four all weekend.

We try to think of it as if ss lived with us, we would expect to pay the bills anyway - but the fact is, we dont have it.  DH was in the hospital for 13 days last year, I finally found a job, but it doesnt pay much.....bm owes dh $2800 for a joint bankruptcy he paid, and my ex is not paying any child support at all.  

Also, this happened out of neglect.  The three children involved all get in trouble at school.  There is no discipline at home.  These are the two children ss was with when bm called the police because she didnt know where he was.  SS needs counseling and bm refuses.  It just seems wrong that we have to juggle more because of her slack parenting....

[4honor]

for a parent to file they have 2 to 3 years (depending on state). For the child to file, they have that amount of time after they have reached their majority to file it in court (this is an insurance company's worst nightmare, as the "alleged" scars are real scars by then and the emotional trauma is real, not just assumed.)