fighting

[jane l]

Hey, I'm on here because my son has a soon to be ex.  

I briefed over the responses and can't figure out how this became about Jade. (aka your ex?)

As for the ex - ignore her as much as possible, she's envious, looking for attention and control, and can't seem to get it without making everyone dance around her.  She could stand to not be at home so she can focus on more than herself.  How's that for bias?

I grew up in a divorced with step-parents family and guess who replaced my mother?  First my older sister and then I started parenting myself.

There's no way to win the "stay at home game".  My husband and I chose to be a single income family and I was home with my three sons the entire time.  They're adults now.  But, guess what, the soon to be ex has decided my son is a mama's boy.  She wanted her family life to match my picture with one huge flaw.  We know how to manage money and stay out of debt on one income. Once her picture was shattered, she started the blame game, didn't want to work, and guess what, found out that when you're divorced you still have to support the kids.   I see nothing wrong with two income families that have a schedule that allows their children to thrive.

I don't truly believe any single parent is doing their children a service by staying home unless they are financially independent of everyone, including the person paying child support.  I think it's great that your second wife is willing to take on the challenge of a blended family and a drama queen who sees her as the enemy.  She deserves to be respected for her obvious healthy emotional courage. Protect her from your ex as much as you can, she's worth it. Your children can only benefit from her example and yours.  

You didn't mention whether the stay at home ex can support herself and the children without outside assistance other than your child support.  If she can't, she is setting the kids up for an attitude of entitlement.

[2dvldog]

no jade is not the ex. And no she is not financialy secure enough by herself to support them. She has  her parents paying for her attorney. In my opinion her fighting fof the kids stopped being about the kids a long time ago.

[2dvldog]

Did I mention my children are thriving? It's obvious to me that your children are with you and your ego is too big  to think they would do as well otherwise. I  have 4 children and majored in elementary Ed so I think I have a little understanding on how small children work and let me tell you that they deal way better with change and things other than the norm than older children. BTW I live 10 minutes from their mother so that isn't a consideration that will help your biased stance here.

[jane l]

Hang in there.  Kids do grow up and the instictively know who is child- centered and who is self-centered.  There will be a day when they will express their appreciation, probably when they become parents themselves.  It sounds like ex has an entitlement issue already going with her parents that she would like to pass on as a legacy.  Dad's inequality makes me sad, especially when they are so willing to carry the parenting burden as well as the $$$.  Society over-estimates $$$ and neglects these little people who need caring adults in their lives.  I'm proud of you for contuing to try.  It gives me courage to continue to  support my son in his efforts to be a dad.  Thanks for sharing.