As an NCP, do you feel that child support orders are just and fair in your case and that no matter what, the CP's lifestyle should be maintained for the sake of the children?

[olanna]

Bravo, Ref.

Just as I said to the judge...so if I am paying $1800 a month, for a 10 year old healthy child, that means it costs $3600 to raise my son????  And in the county where my son lives, the average income per household is $1500 a month???

[MixedBag]

Ditto...

I don't remember how many times I read from "them" that it costs more than XX (what I was paying) to raise a child!!!

And my brain immediately said "What about YOUR contribution"

I just know that HAD we stuck to guideline support, I think I would be receiving too much when you take both sides into consideration and knowing what it took to live for one compared to now what it takes for two.

[mistoffolees]

>Bravo, Ref.
>
>Just as I said to the judge...so if I am paying $1800 a month,
>for a 10 year old healthy child, that means it costs $3600 to
>raise my son????  And in the county where my son lives, the
>average income per household is $1500 a month???

Where do you get that? In most states, your payment depends on relative incomes. It also depends on the number of days the child is with you in some states.

And the cost of raising a particular child is not a function of average household income. The state legislatures and courts have determined that the amount of support is dependent on the parent's financial circumstances.

Let's say you've got a kid who has been in top private schools for many years, been involved in lots of extracurricular activities, lots of expensive vacations, etc. The position of most states is that, as much as possible, the child's lifestyle should be maintained. No one ever said it costs $3,600 per month to maintain a child at basic levels. But it's easy to believe that some children cost $3,600 per month.

You may not like that and one could easily argue against it, but that's the standard almost everywhere. If you could afford to support a child at a certain level before the divorce, you should be able to support them at a similar level after. There are always extreme cases (loss of job, etc), but the courts make provisions for those circumstances.

[Giggles]

 and NO I don't think that the CS should equal 100% of my son's costs.  In my case, yes, I do make more than his father and do carry the lion's share of DS's costs.  

I'm just saying that there are some CP's that get skrewed by the system as well....like I did!  When X and I split, DS was 10 months old and CS based on our combined incomes was set at $275 a month.  Mind you DS is now 10 and his father and I were making CONSIDERABLY less.

A couple years ago, I found a program through the government that helps low income individuals with buying a home.  Part of their approval process is to count all means of income so I had to list the CS I get.  The program wanted a copy of the court order.  I looked through all my paperwork and realized that my lawyer skrewed up and never filed the court order for Child support so there wasn't one even though the judge set the support amount!!!  So I went through CSE to have one established since his father moved away.  It took over a year to get it established....I figured that the CS would go up to about $400 a month due to both of us making more....NOPE!!  Come to find out...DS's father's GF works for the court system up in his area and somehow got the court to only order the CS amount to be $275 (the original amount) and that there were NO arrearages...eventhough there were because he missed payments after the time I filed....it did not get back dated to the time of filing...so CP's do get skrewed as well.

DS's Basic Monthly expenses as I figure them to be are:
Child Care:  $350
Housing:  $255
Food:  $250
Clothing:  $25
Utilities:  $45 (Heat, water, electric)
Entertainment:  $20
Transportation:  $20
Medical:  $105
Total: $1070

I pay almost $800 a month for my DS...which is 75% of his costs...so I still would have no problem documenting my spending of the CS...since clearly I do pay way more than the NCP!!!

[MixedBag]

I remember way back in the beginning of when I started posting on the boards (on a different one), listing out (too) what I thought I was spending on the girls etc...

And how folks just tore it apart....

Which made me re-think my position.

For example, I bought a 3 bedroom/2 bath home.  Son moved in with me.  Did I go out and buy a bigger home?  NOPE.  So...how much of the house payment can really be attributed to him?

Don't wanna open a can of worms, o.k.  

But there's different ways to look at it -- so when tables and formulas were put in place, I thought "good thing" -- UNTIL I realized that the NCP is expected to pay waaay too much according to the forumulas which means CS is really partially alimony in disguise.

[MixedBag]

This was her personal situation and what happened to her.

[olanna]

Yep. And Daddy wouldn't work. He lost his last job for stealing from the company and failing a drug test.  Told the judge he simply couldn't find work...but it was expected for me to provide for both him AND my son...and his new wife and child.

[Giggles]

the way I calculated his "housing" cost was in my area I could get a 1 bdr for $850 a month.  Since I have 2 kids, I must have a 3 bedroom so my Mortgage is $1360 a month.  I subtracted the $850 from the $1360 and divided that in 1/2.

I agree that some NCP's are paying partial alimony....that is why I don't think the current system works right.  There are just way to many variables and a lot of the time it really depends on the judge you get and if he/she is having a good day.

[olanna]

My Dman (you remember him?) likes new skate boards, his Blackberry Pearl, and we have every gaming system made....well, except the Wii which I might get for a group gift this Christmas.  I don't think my ex overpays. It's a fair amount, even if I do cover most of the cost.

I don't care.  His Dad is a good guy and my son loves him very much. S and I have a wonderful working relationship. Not going to cloud that with asking for more money through the courts.  We have pretty much worked everything out ourselves.  Even down to additional time, and whatever else is appropriate.  I really like my ex's new wife, and she loves my son.  It can work without the courts involvement.

[Davy]

.... YES and will WORK BETTER with out government involvement.

IF we as a society could just get them out of our lives and STOP them from promoting the break down of the family unit.

Really appreciate your post !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!