just need to vent

[wysiwyg]

ok so I am writing about my married daughter this time, but I need to VENT before I go nutz!

Daughter married with 2 kids 10 months and 5 years.  Hubby is a civvy, never worked FT in 6 years and only made a total of 8K the entire marriage.  Daughter is E5 in Army.

Hubby violent, she got EPO on him, he was escorted out of the home by her Commanding officer. Up to the EPO, hubby was calling, emailing and visiting the CO making allegations against daughter about other men.  He got his mother and step mother in on the action and betwene the three of them, called her 1st sgt, CO, colonel Inspector General and the congressman, housing (trying to get her terminated from housing by stating to them she was living with someone) and JAG becasue he wants 1/3 her housing allowance.  Hubby and mother were documented on base taking pictures of cars license plates and homes and calling neighbors and us.  I have several messages from his mother in her tirade of 7 calls in 19 minutes to me.  His mother leaves messages for my daughter that she watched the child get off the bus and noticed that the baby arrived at day care late.  Weird eh?

Go to court Monday - daughter testifies about the abuse, rape, harassment, and the judge listens asks hubby if was true he said no, she went off on him because the FBI called her - turns out that hubby tried to purchase a pistol under the RO!!!!!!!!!!!  My gut hit the floor when my daughter told me that.  

THe DVO was issued for 3 years, she gets kids, he has to stay away 1000 feet, supervised visits with the kids, needs to under go a full psych eval and parenting classes and is not to harass her family or chain of command for 90 days.  He was found in violation of calling, stalking, being within 1000 feet of my daughter and for his mother adn step mother calling and harassing all superiors, taking pictures and calling family members.

Today my daughter gets called into her commanders office, and her hubby had given him copies of HIS cell phone bill stating that she was calling other men.  This is within 1000 feet of her, and harassing her superiors (2 violations) This is HIS bill her name is not on the bill and she did not make the calls, he CO believed the HUBBY - told her that military does not have to abibe by her DVO and threatend to bump her DOWN a rank, give her 45 days of extra duty, forfeit 1/2 a months pay, and give her a field Article 15 that will follow her throough out her career.  He also wants her to pay him 300 a month for housing!  Obviously no one cares about the kids or how they are going to eat or be cared for........................

[4honor]

Tell her not to just take the article 15. She is not guilty, she should fight this.

The CO is probably just pisssed she brought this jerk into his circle of influence and now the CO has to deal with STBX all the time. If CO makes your DD's life harsh enough, she will muster out and the CO gets rid of two troubles in one.

[Everyside]

A little background before my two cents......  my current hubby was grounded from flying and threatened with a courtmartial when he married me.  His commander was fishing buddies with my exhusband.  My hubby worked with the ADC and the IG and eventually the commander was required to apologize and was soon after transferred.  She has to push.  Commanders are used to getting their way because they are commanders.  Sometimes someone needs to reminded them that they are not gods.    Good luck to your daughter.

Here is his take on the situation:

She doesn't have to accept an Article 15.  If he hits her with it, she turns it down and then he has to drop it or pursue Court Martial, although under what article I don't know.   She should go immediately to her post JAG, and her Area Defense Council to see if there's something that can be done.   Whoever the installation commander is is the one responsible for enforcing the DVO.  He can't force her to pay anything, that is a civil matter.  Bottom line is she has to get it to the CC above her CC.   The way to do that is she has to go to her IG office, that's the guy who has to hold her CC accountable.

So I say, go to the IG, then the JAG, then the ADC.  If her post JAG won't help there are JAG's at the next higher level of HQ and they go there.  

Editted to add further comments from my hubby:

Plus I call bullshit on not honoring a DVO.  Federal Law requires it.  The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act of 1997 applies to every agency of State and federal government.  A military post is federal property governed by Federal law.  There is a Federal Magistrate on each base, maybe that office can help her.


http://www.law.upenn.edu/bll/archives/ulc/fnact99/1990s/uccjea97.pdf

[wysiwyg]

Well the sad saga continues:

Civvy hubby broke military daughters DVO, he went to her work, drove by the house and contaced her chain of command, as well as his mother - also a violation.  He was placed under arrest and jailed over the weekend.  Sat AM her CO and 1st Sgt come to her home and question her why she filed false charges on her husband, she says she did not - they bantered back and forth and get this!  They ordered her to bail her abuser out of jail within one hour or get an article 15 this week (kicking her out of the military)!  Turns out his mother called her colonel who called the co  and 1st sgt to go to her house, if that was not bad enough they did a health and welfare inspection of her home and kids by bringing in the MP's.  Scared my grandson half to death he thinks he and his sister are leaving mommy.  They also ordered her to get to the office within an hour after she posts bail and bring her DVO with her.  They already have copies...........she gets there and is questioned for an hour and a half by 1st Sgt, CO, Colonel and JAG in front of her kids as to why she had him arrested and in jail.  My grandson hears this and cries because his daddy is in jail, my daughter had no knowledge that he had been jailed in order to be able to talk to her son about it.  She tells her companys chain that she can not bail him out no bond was set, apparently he came down to her work inquire aobut when he could expect his 33% of her housing money to support him, he is to be 1000 feet away!  He was found in contempt of this in the DVO hearing (for calling and stalking her).........along with trying to buy a gun while under a DVO!  Now his mother is leaving her messages that "you want war, you got it I am ready to play."

She has no support and I am states away and can not help but to talk on the phone or email or cell...............My heart breaks for my family and my daughter who has made a career of being a soldier only to find that no one has her back especially when she is told to bail her abuser out of jail or loose her career and the ability to support her children.