custody for teen father

[cuppa7]

Thank you for reading the lines. You are right, we moved on to another attorney. I don't believe this is a bad site at all, just not what I was looking for. As far as getting "hammered" in the other reply, there are way too many incidents with the other family to list in here, but we will have the former assistant district attorney for our area representing my son so I know he will get some type of custody agreement even if it means a battle. We are not country bumpkins here, just hard working intelligent adults like all of you; and please don't think for one minute that I won't fight like a mother tigress to help my son. I've been through too much myself in other matters to be one little bit afraid of this and know not to go through this with blinders on. Thank you all.

[carcar]

This is my first time on this site & I came on looking for info to help my grandson.  It was funny that I found your post because the situation is almost identical.  My grandson who is only 15 is going to be a dad. He really is determined to be a good dad & a part of his childs life (he doesnt want to be like his own dad was). The girlfriends mother is telling the kids that they have to sign guardianship of the baby over to her in order for the baby the have medical insurance through her work.  We live in AZ and they have a program called baby arizona that will cover the pregnancy & first year of the baby's life (and longer if you qualify). But the mother is refusing to do that.  We are trying to find out what his rights are. The mother of the girl has told him that because he is 15 he isn't allowed to be listed on the birth certificate.  I think that is total BS. But if anyone out there knows anything about teenage father's rights in the state of Arizona I would really appreciate hearing from you.  Thanks.

[cuppa7]

I haven't been here for quite some time, but when I saw your post I had to reply. Before going any further I would like to let the nice people who responded when I first posted know the outcome of my son's situation. My son was awarded shared legal custody of his daughter. He has visitation 2 nights a week, every other weekend and one full week during the summer. All holidays, including his birthday is a shared day too. We are now in the process of getting the birth certificate changed as the child's mother and grandmother listed the father as unknown. The courts ordered a paternity test, (which we did not have to pay for) and the test came back as 99.9% positive in my son's favor. It's seems like it's taken forever, but as my son says, every minute of waiting and hoping has been worth it. Just to see his face light up whenever he takes his little girl with him is enough to lift my heart. His daughter is beautiful and looks so much like him! He has his driver's license now and a car so he is able to pick up his daughter on his own. I don't know the legal statutes in AZ, but a consultation with an attorney is something I would definitely recommend! I can't imagine AZ is that much different from PA in most matters. No matter what his age, he is still a father. Never give up hope, stay strong for your grandson he's going to need you through this. As far as the birth certificate that sounds like BS to me too. Don't hesitate to check with your vital records bureau. They may be able to assist you with information on that issue. Good luck to you and your grandson, I completely understand what you're going through!

[Peanutsdad]

Thank you for updating us. So instead of shared physical custody, he ended up with essentially standard visitation.  

Was there a home study done in his case? What were the outcomes on the concerns about the mother and grandmother? How was child support assessed?

If you dont mind,, the answers could help guide others in the future.

[cuppa7]

Sure I'd be glad to give you more information, at least what I have experienced. My son originally considered shared physical custody, but after talking it over with us (his parents) and other parents in a similar position, he decided on legal custody. The thought of his daughter moving back and forth from home to home every six months was a main concern. He felt that uprooting her could have serious effects in the future. His attorney advised he could choose either type of custody. There was no home study done. My son did speak to the hearing officer for about 10 minutes. The hearing officer spoke with my son and his daughter's mother separately. We were not allowed to speak at the custody hearing. My son's attorney conveyed our support and concerns. The other grandmother took every opportunity to speak out against us while we (all the grandparents from both sides) were waiting in the lobby, but the deputy sheriff on duty finally told her either she stopped speaking or would have to leave the area. As far as support, that is a completely separate issue that will be addressed in a different location, through a different agency. The birth certificate has to be changed first, then a hearing can be scheduled for support. My son will receive a copy of the updated birth certificate as well as his daughter's mother.  His attorney advised that support will be minimal because my son is still a student in high school and the order can be modified at a later date when his education is completed. My son is very aware of what can come in the future and is preparing himself now for a technical vocation that will provide him with a good, steady source of income. He is already putting money aside from a part time job he has now, so he will be able to help provide for his daughter. If you have any other questions, please post and I will be glad to answer what I can.

[Kitty C.]

You know, if you do your homework, you and/or your son could save a TON of legal fees by setting up a parenting plan NOW that will last throughout the child's minority life.  There is a lot of information on this site that can help you thru that.  But his atty's comments of going back later to modify is nothing but a way for him to line his pockets even further.

Also, you should know that the ONLY way to modify is if you can meet the court's standard of 'significant change of circumstance'.  Unless you put it in the order NOW that modification WILL be mandatory when he gets out of school, or whatever benchmark you decide to place (and that's iffy, too), it's doubtful you would be granted a modification.

Time for some serious educating!

[cuppa7]

I am sorry, I should've clarified that issue of modification. It's difficult to condense everything into a post, I don't like to write a book even though I seem to have done just that. The attorney advised my son that a support order that is entered for a minimal amount now could be modified by his daughter's mother once my son is done with his education and has obtained full time employment. And of course she should and will. Raising a child can be expensive and both parents need to contribute as much as they can to make sure their child is taken care of. My son wants to see his daughter have advantages in her life that he might not have had or will have. Isn't that every parent's wish for their children? As a grandparent I look forward to helping in every way I can whether it is financial or otherwise. I have done so with my other 2 grandchildren along with their parents and will do so for my newest grandaughter. They are all such a delight! I can't imagine life being any other way! We have already started each grandchild out with savings bonds and contributions to a savings account that will help them with college if they decide to go. My son will be contributing to the savings account also. I hope that helps to clarify the issue.

[sweetnsad]

I've read this entire thread and I have to say "kudos" to your son for stepping up and being a Dad....especially at his young age!  There are alot of young men out there that would have hightailed it as soon as they heard they were going to be having a baby....How proud you must be of him!  And how wonderful it is that you have supported him through this....Congrats on your newest addition....:)

[Kitty C.]

I only posted that as a word of warning.  Many a father has tried for a custody modification based on having either educating themselves, gotten better jobs, or living in a better home/area, only to be shot down.  But if the mother wants to go back later and get more support because the father is making more money, you can bet that it will be granted.  the opposite doesn't necessarily happen, tho.  If he were to lose his job 10 years from now, it's not a given that he would be granted a downward modification.

Many attys. have told their clients 'We can always go back later' but it's a helluva lot tougher than you think.  Just didn't want you to be disillusioned by a system that has dads already behind the 8 ball the moment they start.

JMO, but I think it would be a very good idea, as far as custody mod. is concerned is to try to put something in the current order NOW, if you have any idea what his situation will be like ionce he does get out of school, or have it stipulated in the current order that custody mod. will be MANDATED upon his completion, so that there is no way the other party can wiggle out of it or put up any roadblocks against it.  Everything might seem peaceful now, but many have started that way, only to end up at each other's throats.  That's just the reality of the system.  

[cuppa7]

THANK YOU!!!! I don't know if we are as proud of him as he is of himself. This has done wonders for his confidence in the future. The past few months have been very trying, (emotionally), and pulling together as a family has given us the strength to move through this. An added note----we did find a group for my son to participate in through the local Catholic Charities. You do not have to be of the catholic religion, anyone is welcome, ( the group is non-denominational). It's actually a parenting class, made up of all ages of parents in many different situations. The group had many open discussions to address parent's concerns and they have been great advocates for the parents. They seem to have an endless source of referral information too. I would suggest this to anyone looking for a group, if a Catholic Charities is not listed in your phone directory, call the local Catholic Diocese and they should be able to tell you if they have one. Again, this is NOT a recruitment campaign for any specific religion, this is something for any parent.