I haven't cried since I was a kid

[homewrecked]

Really, I mean it.  What an inspiring message.  When I said I haven't cried since I was a kid, I meant it. I have cried every day now for the past 19 days.

I know that everything you say is true... although almost impossible to truly believe.  If, on Feb 17, I do not return home with my babies, I won't be able to live with myself.  I will have failed them.

I know you're right.  As difficult as it is to see the end of the tunnel, I know it's there.  And your comments help to confirm it.  God, I'm crying again!

Please accept my deepest gratitude for these invaluable words of encouragement.

[Davy]

Homewrecked,

Here goes an attempt to enlighten, encourage and support your endeavors for your children.  I read many of the posts and what I post may very well have already been provided for consideration.  When I read the MYSONDAD and INDY's post just above I'm thinking to myself Yep ! and Yep !  ...you do not have to live under the same roof in order for someone to break in and ransack your place ... she'll be crying rape everywhere she goes for her own benefit and up the road what is now considered false accusations may become charges.  This woman is capable of doing shit you and I or anyone else here could ever imagine ... and just think there is a 'Dream Team' of wealth with knowledge and experiences.  I seldom post my PBFH shit because I don't want to give any other psychos any ideas and everyone would either think I was lying or exagerating ... hell I lived it and still don't believe it.  I was you a little over twenty years ago (and shit still happens)... Nam-era vet, 3 kids (older than you probably)... 2 states away surrounded with high powered influence in mama's hometown where the kids nor I had ever resided.  Her parents were very wealthy and behind everything and had been for all 15 years of the marriage.  I, like you,  was very much the primary nuturing care giver as well as the primary provider and had been their entire lives. PLEASE remember my kids were able to speak out and protect themselves even tho they were initially (??) PAS'd.

Considerations :
*whatever happens now will be effecting your kids when they are adults

*BM will harm the kids if you let her

*BM will destroy you if you let her

*BM will be highly favored in all matters no matter what ..if you let her

*she will be above the laws ..if you let her .. it's called discretion

*always rise above the fray and focus on the children

*think about contacting the state supreme court and asking for the names of former clerks (attys)...they may be "rule of law" types capable of turning the local yokals upside down with a recusal motion for being bias and prejudice against your children and you.  Yahoo says Sacramento is a little over 200 miles from Susanville.  Mine was very eager, very good, very cheap, and kept him posted for over a year with out a retainer before he entered and kicked serious butt.

*prepare a chronological summary of events/occurrences (including pre-separation involvement with the kids) ready to fax to an attorney before you talk for long over the phone...be very selective who you fax to  

*always brush off the dirt, leave the blood and move forward

*deem all the documented wealth of info. from SPARC articles

*be mindful that things may not not be as bleak as they seem...she may very well have influential enemies in susieville

*always be mentality prepared for anything and conduct yourself professionally NEVER REACTING to a situation

*PRAY for yourself

All of the above is simply random thoughts from the past and there's a lot more that you will learn and experience as you go forward for many years to come...each experience will be unique to you.  BTW,  I could stand to be corrected ...hope this is helpful ... kick ass Homewrecked !!  

[homewrecked]

Please know sir, that your message will remain a source of encouragement for years to come.

I think that I may just print out this entire thread (if the great responses ever stop coming) and put it in a safe deposit box.  Who knows, maybe someday, I'll run into some poor sap in a similar situation.  Then I'll be blessed with the opportunity to pass it on.

The last couple weeks, I have felt so alone.

I am a 31 year old man, crying like a little girl.

I promise you, I will not let her do any of those things.  And each of those suggestions for me, will become scripture for me.  I am truly grateful for yet another source of inspiration.

[StPaulieGirl]

Actually Homewrecked and I live in the same state.  
I think this woman is too crafty to get caught sending vindictive email.  I gave up printing all the email that my ex sent, because it made me sick.  Besides, that stuff is old news.  I closed out the account and threw the printed copies away.

[StPaulieGirl]

Davy, that's one of the best posts you've ever written.

Homewrecked, PeanutsDad wrote on a post a few weeks back about how you learn to recognize people who are going through this, just by the way they look.  You see them at work, the grocery store, church, etc.  I've given guys this website address over the years.  My best friend from school has an older brother who is going through some stuff with his ex weirdo.  I actually showed their mom the site on her computer, and bookmarked it for her.  Don't know if they bothered looking.

Davy brought up an excellent point.  Not everyone likes this woman.  She's an alleycat.  I wonder if she's caused any break ups or divorces?  She has to have enemies; hey us gals don't know her, but we'd cheerfully wring her neck.  Oh yeah, move back to town if you can.  Just keep your ear to the ground.  Who knows, maybe someone will knock at your door with a casserole and a story to tell.

It's real hard to rise above the mud, but you have to try and remain focused on your goal....getting your kids back.  Lol, I should talk...I do enough screeching about my ex on here :+

[MYSONSDAD]

Davy, this is so good, I copied and put it on the fridge. I want to see it everyday and remind myself what all this is for. I think all of us can use encouragement and inspiration. This really hit home. Positive attitude all the way!

I am living the crap too, and I say NO MERCY! Keeping the nose clean and taking the high road, living right and going on with my life, will destroy the B*TCH. She will go down by her own hand, or should I say mouth.

You are an inspiration. Thank you

Homewrecked, Since she did such a good job trying to screw you up...excuse the pun...  What makes you think she isn't bragging about it? Probably will brag how her well orchestrated plan went. Might be heard by someone who will kiss and tell.

She may have pulled records and documents from your home, but you are not the only one who had copies.

[homewrecked]

I can only pray that one dayI will have the opportunity to return the favor to you all by being the source of inspiration to some other poor soul.

[homewrecked]

Nothing would be better than for her to snitch herself off to the wrong person!

I printed that one out too, that was brilliant.  Also, check out reply #39 by combokid.

[MYSONSDAD]

Are you taking steps to work out visitation? Courts love visuals. I track my psycho bit*h 4 different ways. Two are visual. You need to see your kids and they need to see you. Get some back up as far as you taking care of them when Mommie Dearest was at work. Any chance of getting her past work schedule? I would think her long hours at work will help you out. Doctors report showing you take them to the doctor. Any proof that would show you were the one staying at home with them. You could make your own calender and use different colors of marker to show what days they were in your care. I like the AOL calendar. It changes the font color for you. Have pictures of you and the kids together. Candid pictures work the best. Go back as far as you can. Never say 'play' in front of the Judge. Care giving or nurturing is better. Stress the strong bond you have with your children.

Take pictures of your home and their bedrooms. Where ever she has them, I bet they are sharing a bedroom with someone else.

Since she has taken your documents and records. Think and write down what you had. Make a list with the most important first. Go back to where that document came from. Most places will have things in their archives. Get copies.

Everyday, I do at least one thing to put me closer. I may never win this.
But my son will someday grow up and ask questions. I know she will slam me and lie thru her teeth. She has also managed to get others to lie and do things for her. MY SON'S OPINION IS THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS.
If I need to show him what happened, I will, when he is old enough to handle the truth. Until then, I just enjoy my time and give him all the love and understanding I can. He will know that I will always be there for him. But he will know how hard I fought to stay in his life and how much I love and care for him. He is the air I breath.

[sweetnsad]

Take the advice given, it's very helpful and the people that have been here a long time know what they are talking about.  

Crying like a little girl, huh?  No such thing...big men can cry too...you are entitled to it and should never be ashamed of your feelings.  Everyone hurts once in a while.  It's ok to show it.  Alot of men here know exactly what you are going through.  

Take care...Many prayers and thoughts your way...