Hi, I'm new here

[Dad in Ca]

Hi Gas,

It went well, I won... according to the attorney.
It was somewhat of a letdown... I won because she didn't fill out her forms.
Now I'm waiting for her to refile so I can spend another 1500 bucks or more...

I posted what happened a few posts above.

Wishin' you the best at your hearing.

Good Luck,
Dad in Ca

[gas]

Hi Ca. Dad,

That's  good to hear.  Nice deal having an ex AGREE to 50/50 from the outset and then is so incompetent she can't complete proper paperwork.  Mine fighting like hell to keep status quo (70/30) and is a capable Mom without any black marks that will show up in court.  

Seems the only Dads that win 50/50 IN court have ex's who have proven to be pathetic parents.  If all else fails I am going to propose to the judge that child support NOT be changed if my timeshare increases significantly.  That way she can't play the "it's all about the money" card.  Can't really afford it but then again how do you put a price on more time with two sons

[Dad in Ca]

"propose to the judge that child support NOT be changed if my timeshare increases significantly..."

Hopefully it won't resort to that.
It is a shame that with all the dad's that walk out on their kids, the ones who really want to have joint custody can't get it.
Especially two sons.  That saddens me beyond words... this is truly a messed up world in which we live.

I hate to say it, but with many of these girls, it's all about money.
I have to believe the judges know what's going on, they see it day in day out.

It should be automatic that any parent asking for joint custody should get it... barring abuse, neglect, or logistical problems.

Good luck Gas

[Yngsmommy]

Quick question.

Does she work, and if so how is she able to care for your son while your at work/school.

Honestly even though him spending time with his mom is a good thing, I would consider.... maybe reducing the time by half. Have your friend watch him once, and then your ex.

I can see them reducing the time to keep it "status quo" cause right now even though you technically have 50/50... your ex spends more "parenting" time with him...

[Dad in Ca]

Hi Yngsmommy

She works full time.
I work full time and attend classes after work 3 or 4 days a week.
She would pick him up for me at the daycare for me and I would pick him up from her on the way home from school.

I talked to my lawyer about this, he said for me to worry about my weeks and let her worry about hers.  A girlfriend from school is watching him at my house for me now, and I even took him to class once, my teacher said to bring him and the girls love him :)
I'm even thinking of taking him out of the daycare on my weeks and enrolling him in a preschool near my house.  I don't know if this would be going too far.

My lawyer told me that my ex had contacted an attorney, because the attorney had called him about the case.
He also said she didn't hire the attorney.

My attorney wants to file an adendum??  or something that sounds like that, and go back to court to wrap up my original case that is apparently not finished yet.
I asked if it is possible if I could lose and he said he doesn't think so.
He was right about beating her modification motion.

I'm kind of worried, what if I pay to drag her back in and lose...

[Troubledmom]

Listen to your attorney. The addendum he is talking about completes the custody orders. It sounds as if at your hearing, when the agreed upon orders were made, they were temporary. He is correct in saying it needs to be completed. As far as losing, well anything is possible, but it does not sound as if it would be likely.
Make sure that your attorney puts something in your paperwork he files that states that you were operating under good faith regarding the Right to First Refusal for your child's mother to provide child care while you were in school. And that you ceased when it became appearant that she was intending to use the right of first refusal to significantly impact your parenting time.
As for the removal of the child from his daycare, I would wait. In fact you may want to include in your Addendum a provision that a suitable preschool in a suitable location for both parents be sought for the upcoming 2004/2005 school year and have the issue of where the child will attend public school when he starts be addressed as well. Look to the future so you aren't back in court again because of disagreements about such things.
Hope that helps.

TM

[Lovingdad]

Welcome.  I am just begining the divorce process (see topic #3878 under Father's issues).  I would love to have a 50/50 joint custody arrangement, and hope that you keep yours.  I read the first few replies to your post, and agree with them.  I would also recommend you contact darkspectre.  He may be able to provide you with some insight, if he's still checking this site and reading the boards.  Congrats on the year of 50/50.... my prayers are with you that status quo prevails, I am scared to death of getting anything less than that for myself in the next few months.