2 issues; desperately need HELP!

[FleetingMoment]

>"For the first 3 years, I was part of her life as much as I
>could be, but other then making monthly child support
>payments, I had no custody/visitation established with the
>courts."
>
>This says to me that there was no visitation set up thru the
>courts.
>  

Well, gee. I would hope you are able to comprehend what that says to you and everyone else. Plain English, after all.  Who's fault is that? HIS. He should have gone to court to "establish" his custody/visitation rights.

>"Adoption had been brought up to me several times by her and
>her husband; about 5 months ago her husband joined the
>military and recently got stationed back east. Trying to
>decide what was in V's best interest, and b/c I had missed out
>on so many years with her, I signed the adoption papers."
>

>Anyone in the military will tell you they have no control on
>where they are deployed. This situation was out of his hands
>and he was trying to do what was best for his daughter.
>

Military deployment of another person is out of his hands. Giving up a child for adoption is not out of his hands. NO ONE and I repeat NO ONE is forced to give up a child for adoption and let another man take over as the father. That was a bad choice.

>"Last week her mother called me and told me that she told V
>about me and her half sister and brother, and said she wanted
>to meet us, so we set up a play date in the park. V hit it off
>immediately with myself and the kids, and ended up staying the
>night at my house. Since then, she has been over to my house
>several times, and we've talked on the phone almost everyday.
>V told me that she wanted to come and live with me to get to
>know her new family better. My wife and I agreed that it would
>be in V's best interest to move with her family, but fly back
>on school holidays to visit"
>
>Again, putting his daughter before his own interests.

He no longer has a choice in making decisions. He gave her up for adoption. His ex wife and her "new father" are not the ones suggesting V go and live him. What V wants doesn't matter.
>
>"I told her that I wanted to take the schedule to court just
>to get it approved by a judge so it would be on paper"
>
>Trying now to take more of a legal route to insure his
>parenting time.

Again. What parenting time? No matter what he tries to call it now, he signed his parenting rights away.

>"I share joint legal/physical custody of my 6 1/2 year old
>(I'll call her "J") with my ex-wife
>J has been in therapy for quite a while now, and her mother
>has not shown up to any appointments."
>
>Now what does this say? He is a fit parent, with joint legal
>and physical. Mother does not go to therapy.
>

Poor J. I do feel for the child. But apparently this is not a joint decision for J to attend therapy. What happened to the joint decision making here? Mother is not going because she doesn't agree with it, or his choice of a therapist. Mother might even be taking the daughter to therapy on her own without involving Dad. This doesn't make the Mother bad at all. Not one bit.

>
>a. you are here to cause conflict
>
>b. you are a very depressed person who enjoys misery
>
>c. you do not read the entire post
>
>d. you are anti-male
>
>e. you need a reality check
>
>F. ALL OF THE ABOVE

Get your face away from the "mirror." Your reflection shows.

[nosonew]

eom.  Enough said!

[MYSONSDAD]

This took place nine years ago. Many fathers are not aware of their rights until it is too late.

You are one sick puppy.

Go get help, you need it.


One more post out of you and I will contact the moderator. But, with your mind set as it is, I know you won't care...

One last thought, GET A LIFE! And you have already shown your reflection, nothing, just a big empty hole and you have nowhere to go...

[sweetnsad]

Everyone....we obviously have yet another troll amongst us.  Please ignore it and eventually, it will go away.

:)

[MYSONSDAD]

I am no longer engaging in her "Entertainment Endeavors"

Have set her on IGNORE MODE...

She is like a mosquito, inflicts pain, sucks blood, very annoying and will move on to find another victim.

She will come back, change her ID and user profile...

"Children learn what they live"

[Jerry8a]

LISTEN YOU ASS!!!! FIRST OF ALL, I NEVER STOPPED PAYING CHILD SUPPORT ON "V". EVEN THOUGH PAPERS WERE ORIGINALLY SIGNED, AN ADOPTION PACKET STILL HAS TO BE FILLED OUT BY THE BIOLOGICAL MOTHER AND STEPFATHER, THEY HAVE TO HAVE A MEETING WITH SOCIAL SERVICES, AND THEN FINALLY IT WOULD GO TO COURT WHICH I WOULD HAVE HAD TO AGREE TO IT IN FRONT OF A JUDGE AND THEN IT WOULD'VE HAD TO BE APPROVED BY THE JUDGE. SO YES, I AM STILL PAYING CHILD SUPPORT, AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO. THINGS HAVE BEEN GOING VERY WELL WITH "V" AS WELL. SHE HAS BEEN EXTREMELY EXCITED TO RECONNECT WITH MY SIDE OF THE FAMILY, AND HER BIOLOGICAL MOM HAS ALSO BEEN VERY RECEPTIVE TO EVERYTHING!! SECOND, I HAVE LEGAL/MEDICAL DOCUMENTATION CONCERNING ALL ISSUES WITH "J" AND GUESS WHAT, WENT TO COURT AND WON! i WOULD NEVER EVER TRY TO SEPERATE "J" AND HER MOTHER, I WANTED "J" TO BE ABLE TO LIVE IN A STRUCTURED ENVIRONMENT SO SHE COULD THRIVE IN SCHOOL. AND IT'S WORKING. "J" IS DOING MUCH BETTER IN SCHOOL, HER MOTHER IS ACTUALLY PARTICIPATING IN HER LIFE NOW, AND SHE SEES HER MOTHER EVERY WEDNESDAY OVERNIGHT AND EVERY WEEKEND FROM FRIDAY NIGHT UNTIL 6 SUNDAY NIGHT!!! THAT'S EVERY WEEKEND WITH HER MOMMY BUDDY, I GET HER DURING THE SCHOOL WEEK, SO YOU TELL ME ASSHOLE, I'D SAY THAT'S MORE THAN FAIR. HER MOTHER'S FINE WITH IT, "J'S" THERAPIST SAYS SHE'S EVEN DOING BETTER. SO YOU TELL ME WHO THIS IS HURTING? JUST BECAUSE YOUR LIFE IS SO F---ED UP DOESN'T MEAN YOU NEED TO TAKE IT OUT ON OTHER PEOPLE! GET OVER YOURSELF! IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU OR ME, IT'S ABOUT THE KIDS!!! GROW UP!

[wendl]

Has the adoption papers been filed with the courts yet or has the judge signed them yet???

Might want to make sure if it hasn't to stop that ASAP.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[joni]

....hopefully you put an end to the ravings of that jackass.

Are you saying you don't want the adoption now?  I think the only way you can protect any sort of parenting time...with her being away....is to remain legally obligated as the father.  

If mom is as flighty as you say, she may move back east and disappear again.  That would be devastating for your daughter who is just bonding with you and your family.  And mom may tell you to get lost, and a judge would back that, if you let her be adopted.

Consider this, once she's in her new state for 6 months, the jurisdiction becomes the new state.  Even tho a judge signs off on a parenting plan here with you letting her go for adoption, mom could get moody in the new state and discontinue your visitations.  The new judge would say that he didn't care what you agreed to in the old state, in the new state, you are no longer her father and no longer have ANY rights to the child.

So I would consider not letting the adoption go thru in order to protect your visitation rights.

[Bolivar]

I vote to keep FleetingMoment posting.  Her attitude only helps the children rights movement.   We use her as an example to what is wrong with the system.


I have a new idea for a reality show.

On an island that is inhabited with 100 hers like FleetingMoment and a 100 hims like Eric of the FIRM.  That would be a number one show!!!

[wendl]

nm