A few questions from Virginia

[lookinnomore]

You are some what confused as to what I was asking.  I simply asked if anyone else had ever paid for this and found it to be benefical.  Our lawyer didn't advise doing it as its costly and he had never seen it be benefical.  We were not trying to be cheap, just cost effective.  You are turning a question into something else.

Second these children do NOT want to live with their mother.  I oldest child is 13; and can remember what it was like to live with her and doesn't visit half the time much less want to live with her.

Getting a job and supplemeneting the household means leaving 5 kids home alone after school and that is not in the children's best interest.  Its not as cut and dry you would choose to make it in your glass house.

[FleetingMoment]

YOUR QUESTIONS:
1. Has anyone ever done discovery? It will cost us an additional 1500 bucks to have it done, hate to sound cheap but come on 5 kids, I am cheap. Has anyone found it to be beneficial? And can anyone explain in layman terms what it is?

2. She asked for a guardian ad litem to represent the boys. I thought that was if they were abused or neglected. What exactly does she/he do?

3. What can I expect out of a home study? She requested that too.

MY RESPONSE:
GAL's are not for abused or neglected children. They are there to represent the best interests of the children stuck in the middle custody battles. Both the GAL and the homestudy will help the court determine which type of custody arrangement will work in the best interest of the children.

I'm sorry, but if my response sounds like I was confused as to what you were asking, I need you to point out what the confusing part is.

ADDENDUM:
Is it beneficial? In your live-in's case it could very well be, considering what you say about the 13 year old. A GAL might listen to him. A homestudy on the opposite hand might confirm her current living situation might be better than your own. More bedrooms, cleaner, better schools and recreation, etc.  

Your lawyer may not feel its beneficial or worth the expense, however, if the BM makes the request to the court, and the judge agrees the GAL and homestudy are necessary, there is no choice in the matter. It must be done and paid for.

I was not confused, just took note of your "additional comments" referring to the costs, and feeling cheap about it.

Now, lets get to the after school care. 5 kids... already one is mentioned as being 13, and won't be needing it. How old are the rest of them? Do their schools have an after school program that offers discounted rates?

And what about working part time while they're in school? You consider him your common-law husband, you consider the family yours together, you want to keep the family intact. You didn't ask for this happen, but it is. The only way to prevent a possible financial downfall is to bring in extra income -- at least -- until it is over. How much more can you expect your CLDH to work in O/T without taking away more time from his own boys? You HAVE to help.

Glass house? Nope. Solid brick, though I've got windows :)

[lookinnomore]

Bottom line here your for whatever the argument is!  I am not the only person to tell you this.  

For some reason you think a mother who gave up her kids  and decides she want them back should have them.  We were unmarried when she dropped their sad butts off, and we are still un married she should have thought of that then!

Don't need to take in a job while they are in school, he makes plenty of money, and if we have to do discovery he makes plenty for that, I just don't see the point in sinking money into something that is unnecessary!

After school care for a 13 year old is maybe more important than for a 10 year old.  Thats when most kids have sex the first time, do drugs the first time and get into general trouble is when they come home to a house where no one is home. We have a 14 yo, 2 13 yo's, a 12 and an 11 year old.  Send 5 kids home alone, are you STUPID? Or just wanna argue.

It appears from your statements that in general you dislike men.  I don't know why you continue to stay her on this board. Several people have asked you to find someplace else to post your trash.

You know the old saying what comes around goes around.  The more I talk to you the more you remind me of his ex wife, lol--

[FleetingMoment]

First post... concerns about costs, wasting money, being cheap, five kids. Now... he makes "plenty of money." You act like you're talking about plastic surgery, an alternative choice. Custody is nothing to mess with. Either of them wants discovery, a GAL and the homestudy evaluation, they're going to get it, and the money is going to come out the household.  You're not wasting your money as you're not contributing. He's not wasting his money as they're "his kids," and there's no monetary value to be placed on their heads. SHE is wasting YOUR money and YOU are pissed at HER. It appears that you're angry that his ex-wife may have changed for the better, earning a good chance at custody. If so, she should definitely have at least a chance at 50/50 parenting. Children need BOTH their OWN parents. Who are you to interfere with that?

14, 13, 13, 12, 11. They're all going to come home after school together. Is everyone of those preteens a potential black sheep in your eyes? What happened to all these years of raising them right? Please. I come from a family of seven siblings. You can be sure if one of us wasn't doing the right thing, another was ready to let my parents know.
Each one of us had chores, homework, dinner preparation, etc. No one got in trouble. We all went to college, and we're all professionals now.

Stop rolling in excuses. You simply want to ensure that you'll never lose your SAHM position. Period. Just say so. Bottom line is you're out of control and resorting to childish name calling for lack of anything better to say or wasting time looking for a possible motive from myself. And that... is "posting trash."

You're right. What goes around, comes around. Keep up the good work and remember all vindictiveness will come back to bite not only you, but your poor CLDH who wants nothing more than keep his children under his wings. I feel for "him," not you. You have no clue how many meddling SO's ruin the chances for their SO's, by refusing to stick their heads in a hole and keep it there.

[rini]

Hello

What is the change of circumstance that the mom is alleging for the basis of a change of custody?

to change the status quo most state require some sort of change for a modification of custody to even be heard.

as the mother of 3 teens i hear you on the supervision issue after school.

I am really curious as to what her cause of action and reason for the hearing are.  4 years is a really long time to have the kids.  

a home study will not be in her best interest

subpoena the school records for the kids she has living with her that alone should put a cork in it.  

no judge is going to move kids that are prospering and thriving to another location where the custodial parent is obviously failing in her duties already and is only petitioning to increase her wallet..


rini

[Peanutsdad]

What the ip is on this poster. The style and demeanor of posts that fleeting uses is very similar to a poster I banned on my boards.

[FleetingMoment]

I've never been banned from any boards. But if you wish to have the pleasure, just point me in the direction of the board. Then you can ban me. Wouldn't that be cool!!