A few questions from Virginia

[lookinnomore]

ok, here is the condensed version.  I live with a man in Virginia we have had custody of his 2 boys for the last 4 years.  His x now wants custody back, stating her home is "more suitable".

We have hired a lawyer, OUCH,

1.  Has anyone ever done discovery?  It will cost us an additional 1500 bucks to have it done, hate to sound cheap but come on 5 kids, I am cheap.  Has anyone found it to be beneficial?  And can anyone explain in layman terms what it is?

2.  She asked for a guardian ad litem to represent the boys.  I thought that was if they were abused or neglected.  What exactly does she/he do?

3.  What can I expect out of a home study?  She requested that too.

[Peanutsdad]

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm

URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/guide.htm


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm


For Move aways: ( Thanx Brent!!)

One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/acronyms.htm

[Stepmomnow]

In layman's terms, discovery is where you collect evidence for a trial.  It will involve finding "admissable" evidence, which are facts that you can prove beyond the "he say, she said" types of evidence.  Without evidence, at trial you have nothing.

There are four kinds of discovery, interrogatories, (asking questions they have to answer in writing under oath), Depositions (asking questions in person they have to answer under oath) Document Production (asking them to give you all the documents they have that pertain to a certain issue).  The final type of discovery is Request for Admissions, which is asking them to admit something (not used too much).

If the other side has an attorney, you definately need to have your attorney do the discovery.  The questions and issues are framed in such a way that the layperson can really get themselves in trouble.  Even if the other side is pro per, I would suggest you let your attorney hadle the discovery, or you will be hampering his effectiveness at trial.

[lookinnomore]

we do have an attorney, he neither suggested that we do or don't do it.  She also has an attorney, I just wonder if it is something we should invest the money in to do.  Is it worth while? the extra money

[KAT]

I'd have it done. Where has bio been? What has she been doing? Has she been arrested? Bankrupt? The VA judge in Mr. KAT's case said it was time that the kids bonded with their Mommy. That she needed a chance to raise her kids (though she never gave up a dime of support, loaf of bread or a gallon of milk...good Mommy, let's reward her!). Fast forward good Mommy has bonded with them all the way to 8th grade educations & criminal records. Good Mommy! YUP! Damn bias Virginia. We need to remove Warner, he knows nothing of joint parenting, child support, false abuse allegations or parental rights.
If this is being heard in VAB I can tell you of one GAL to stay away from. She's currently on my removal list. I'll be watching her during another trail that will be coming up soon. The GAL's in VA are lawyers that are paid a minimal amount by the state.
It sounds to me like you might be questioning the lawyer that you have. If that is the case, if you feel he/she is wishy-washy then fire him & find someone more aggressive!!!!! Even if more expensive it will probably save you money during the long haul!! The poor lawyers just waste your money on stupid stuff, the aggressive ones work to make the other party cave...chew em' up & spit them out.
Has he been to mediation yet? I bet that was fun!
KAT

[lookinnomore]

mom gave dad custody because she financially couldn't afford to support them, after dad proved 2 of the 4 weren't even his.  We have had custody since May 14,01 (mothers day weekend).

Mom and dad did file bakrupt together, she has never been arrested to my knowledge, although she has a deep mental background but this is no longer admissable in Va courts go figure!

I have heard va. is bias to mothers and that is her whole case is she is financially more stable now and her house is more "stable".

I like the lawyer, although, he doesn't promote doing the discovery, says its expensive and hes never seen it benefit a case before.  He will do it if we want to.

Mediation was cancelled after the mediation lady talked to the mother, said it was pointless to try it.

Now tonight the mother is demanding pickup of the oldest who is refusing to go.  The way I read the motion to ammend custody there was no child visitation given.  So what do we do? How do you force a 13 year old to go when he doesn't want to?

[FleetingMoment]

You're not married. He's just your live-in. Why are you concerned about how much its going to cost? That is his problem, not yours.

GAL's are not for abused or neglected children. They are there to represent the best interests of the children stuck in the middle custody battles. Both the GAL and the homestudy will help the court determine which type of custody arrangement will work in the best interest of the children.

[lookinnomore]

no we are not married, we both come from failed marriages and are in no big hurry after 6 years of living together to do it again.  As to why I am concerned about what it costs is we are a family and whatever it costs comes out of OUR household.  Don't be silly!

[Stepmom0418]

Look around on the other boards and you will see what kind of advise the above person is giving..........Then take it for what its worth!!!

[FleetingMoment]

I wasn't trying to be silly. Nor was I giving you advice. Just curious why you would want to worry about costs. I've seen too many, women especially, give their everything and a divorced man with children while they live together. I've listened to these same women cry and wonder what happened, "after everything I did for him.... or we're so broke now... and he won't even work a second job."

Six years of living together as a family is a long time and plenty of time to get over the bad feelings of your past divorces. Not that that piece of paper will really matter, but you shouldn't fear it any longer either.