Kidnapping

[MYSONSDAD]

I have family members on the Police force, so that would be a treat to have my little guy go down and see what his uncle does. He knows, but to be in the building would be a great treat!

I did do my own fingerprinting, but would be better to have it professionally done. Schools in this area also do this as a regular routine. But hard when your kids are still toodlers.

But this idea of doing it with community effort, is wonderful! Would make other parents aware of how important this is.
 Very good points made! Thanks!

"Children learn what they live"

[msme]

Kidnapping is very tough to deal with. For a while, it was a very serious concern for us. Now, we feel it is not as likely to happen. At the time, we told one of the children, who we decided could understand & not say anything, that we were concerned that mom might make a poor choice & decide to go off on a trip with them, without telling daddy. She has very limited visitation, 3 hours a week.

He was told that if it got to be past return time & they were not heading back, or had left the state, that he was to tell his mom that he had to use the restroom. When she stopped, he was to go to an adult & ask them to call the police. Tell them that they lived with their dad & should have been returned to him by 5PM. Or if he could get to a phone, he should dial 911 & give them his name, address & phone number & then tell them the same thing.

Thank God, this hasn't happened but one never knows.

Also, AAA sells a child identy kit. There is a questionaire to fill out, a place for prints, with an ink strip for doing them, a place for a picture & a plastic case to keep it in. I think they were only about $2 or $3.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[MYSONSDAD]

Like how you handled informing the kids on what they should do, smart!

"Children learn what they live"

[onedaddy]

Our custody trial is rapidly approaching and although it always seems impossible our case is looking really good.
 
BM is a sick woman, we always knew that, but the forensics evaluator just diagnosed her as a severe psychopath, sociopath, narcisstic, Antisocial and borderline.  SF is also off his rocker as he's spent 4 years in a state prison and over a year under house arrest for DV, et al.

Everyone we speak to, including our therapists fears BM and SF will undoubtedly kidnap these children if we are awarded custody.

Any advice on how to thwart such attempts and/or what to do and who to contact if she does kidnap them?  I vaguely remeber a talk shhow about this a while back and at the end the expert stated it is not wise to contact the state department.  

[MYSONSDAD]

That has crossed my mind several times. Open conversations of the BM and boyfriend moving to another state. BM would run if I get custody.

http://www.missingkids.com/html/amberplan.html

I would also have all vehicle license plates. Their drivers license numbers. This you could get at the courthouse public computer. Friends and family to keep their eyes on their home during the trial and after.

I would think if the therapist also has this fear, a sanction could be put into place. Judge needs to be aware of this possiblity.

Keep recent photos of all involved.

If you become more suspisious, hire a PI.  

Research some other cases of kidnapping and see what they do before they run. It might give you some insight...

[Kitty C.]

Yup, the FBI.  If you have a valid CO and enough wording in it that implies repercussions to removing or fleeing with the children, they are supposed to help.

When DS's dad took off with DS back in 1993 (I didn't know where they were for almost 5 days, come to find out he had taken DS cross-country using back roads and highways from IA to CA), I contacted them.  I was told that, because of our flimsy joint custody agreement (another long story!), they couldn't do anything.  In other words, our legal agreement at the time allowed either one of us custody at any time, so there was nothing in it they could call illegal or in the realm of parental kidnapping.

[Kitty C.]

Yes, yes, yes!  Get license plate numbers and give them to local PD or sheriff's office immediately if you suspect they've taken off.

When ex took off with DS, my brother took me to talk to a reserve deputy friend to find out what I could do.  He asked me if I had the ex's plate number, and I didn't.  Lo and behold, HE did!  And he was the one who started the welfare check.  Not only of the county but to all the airports within 100 miles. Come to find out, he apparently had taken a liking to me and already had documented the info himself!  Proabably saw the situation a lot better than I did at the time.

We ended up dating for a year, but I also made other LE contacts within that time as well.  Has become QUITE invaluable over the years!  Making friends in the local LAE can be a definitely plus!

[MYSONSDAD]

When a person becomes so up close and personal with a situation like this, you tend to forget details. Having someone be a second pair of eyes and ideas can never hurt.

I have sat down with a list of possiblities on what PBFH actions will be and hope everything is covered. And you know I have my other bases covered.

I think every parent, whether your going thru a custody issue or not, should keep this Amber Alert saved in 'my favorites'. You may not need it or think you do, but someone else just might...

Hope this is a gentle reminder for all of us here


Additional thoughts: When I went down to the courthouse for my information, don't forget birthdays and social security numbers as well. Possible they could try and change their ID's. All of it is there in black and white. Remember to bring pen and paper. I found, I could not get copies made.

"Children learn what they live"

[kitten]

We believe ours will run too.  Thank you for this info!

[onedaddy]

Thank you!  I guess this is a common fear.  
I will get their license plate number and that of their parents.  We all live in different counties, so I'll see if I can get them next time we pick up the kids.

It is OUR therapist that fears this possible kidnapping.  She has no affiliation with the children and the BM, so I doubt the court will listen.  It is a very valid concern given BM's psychological evaluation and SF's background.  

The evaluator didn't touch on kidnapping but he did say that BM will more than likely become violent with whomever she feels is responsible if custody is changed.  We do not have rights to this report, so there's not much we can do with it.
 
I don't believe their smart enough to get away with it for very long but I know even an attempt would be quite traumatic on the children and we don't want to take any chances.

I wouldn't know how to get the SF's ss# but his fingerprints/dna are on file thanks to his criminal record.