Kidnapping

[onedaddy]

Our custody trial is rapidly approaching and although it always seems impossible our case is looking really good.
 
BM is a sick woman, we always knew that, but the forensics evaluator just diagnosed her as a severe psychopath, sociopath, narcisstic, Antisocial and borderline.  SF is also off his rocker as he's spent 4 years in a state prison and over a year under house arrest for DV, et al.

Everyone we speak to, including our therapists fears BM and SF will undoubtedly kidnap these children if we are awarded custody.

Any advice on how to thwart such attempts and/or what to do and who to contact if she does kidnap them?  I vaguely remeber a talk shhow about this a while back and at the end the expert stated it is not wise to contact the state department.  

[MYSONSDAD]

That has crossed my mind several times. Open conversations of the BM and boyfriend moving to another state. BM would run if I get custody.

http://www.missingkids.com/html/amberplan.html

I would also have all vehicle license plates. Their drivers license numbers. This you could get at the courthouse public computer. Friends and family to keep their eyes on their home during the trial and after.

I would think if the therapist also has this fear, a sanction could be put into place. Judge needs to be aware of this possiblity.

Keep recent photos of all involved.

If you become more suspisious, hire a PI.  

Research some other cases of kidnapping and see what they do before they run. It might give you some insight...

[Kitty C.]

Yup, the FBI.  If you have a valid CO and enough wording in it that implies repercussions to removing or fleeing with the children, they are supposed to help.

When DS's dad took off with DS back in 1993 (I didn't know where they were for almost 5 days, come to find out he had taken DS cross-country using back roads and highways from IA to CA), I contacted them.  I was told that, because of our flimsy joint custody agreement (another long story!), they couldn't do anything.  In other words, our legal agreement at the time allowed either one of us custody at any time, so there was nothing in it they could call illegal or in the realm of parental kidnapping.

[Kitty C.]

Yes, yes, yes!  Get license plate numbers and give them to local PD or sheriff's office immediately if you suspect they've taken off.

When ex took off with DS, my brother took me to talk to a reserve deputy friend to find out what I could do.  He asked me if I had the ex's plate number, and I didn't.  Lo and behold, HE did!  And he was the one who started the welfare check.  Not only of the county but to all the airports within 100 miles. Come to find out, he apparently had taken a liking to me and already had documented the info himself!  Proabably saw the situation a lot better than I did at the time.

We ended up dating for a year, but I also made other LE contacts within that time as well.  Has become QUITE invaluable over the years!  Making friends in the local LAE can be a definitely plus!

[MYSONSDAD]

When a person becomes so up close and personal with a situation like this, you tend to forget details. Having someone be a second pair of eyes and ideas can never hurt.

I have sat down with a list of possiblities on what PBFH actions will be and hope everything is covered. And you know I have my other bases covered.

I think every parent, whether your going thru a custody issue or not, should keep this Amber Alert saved in 'my favorites'. You may not need it or think you do, but someone else just might...

Hope this is a gentle reminder for all of us here


Additional thoughts: When I went down to the courthouse for my information, don't forget birthdays and social security numbers as well. Possible they could try and change their ID's. All of it is there in black and white. Remember to bring pen and paper. I found, I could not get copies made.

"Children learn what they live"

[kitten]

We believe ours will run too.  Thank you for this info!

[onedaddy]

Thank you!  I guess this is a common fear.  
I will get their license plate number and that of their parents.  We all live in different counties, so I'll see if I can get them next time we pick up the kids.

It is OUR therapist that fears this possible kidnapping.  She has no affiliation with the children and the BM, so I doubt the court will listen.  It is a very valid concern given BM's psychological evaluation and SF's background.  

The evaluator didn't touch on kidnapping but he did say that BM will more than likely become violent with whomever she feels is responsible if custody is changed.  We do not have rights to this report, so there's not much we can do with it.
 
I don't believe their smart enough to get away with it for very long but I know even an attempt would be quite traumatic on the children and we don't want to take any chances.

I wouldn't know how to get the SF's ss# but his fingerprints/dna are on file thanks to his criminal record.

[onedaddy]

You've got me thinking.  I will be making a trip down to the DMV and see if I can get records from them.  

BM lives close to 100 miles away and is moving to a new area and at this point we are not privy to the address so have someone watch them would be impossible.

Since the trial takes place in their new county, I guess I can do my research during the trial since I will not be allowed inside the courtroom.
   
The next weekend the children are with us I will fingerprint them.

Hopefully, the forensics evaluation will pull most of the weight and the judge will reverse custody and aprove a stricter CO

[MYSONSDAD]

When I went on the courthouse computer and checked driving records, that is where I got the birthdays and SS#

Your fingerprinting your kids is a great idea! This is usually done in school, but mine is a toodler yet...

"Children learn what they live"

[Kitty C.]

You can still get your child fingerprinted, MSD.  MANY years ago, when I belonged to a civic organization, we did a kiddie fingerprint day for the community.  Our oldest was 17 and our youngest was 5 weeks old.

So when I got DS back, after his dad had taken off with him and proved to be a flight risk, I took DS to the local sheriff's office and had us BOTH fingerprinted.  I told DS (who was 4 at the time) that we were doing it together to keep us safe, so that if anything happened to either of us, they could use those prints to help find us.  He thought that was pretty cool, especially since the fingerprinting was done right next to the jail and he liked cops at the time.  He thought it was a cool deal all around, LOL!

The LEA will NOT keep a set of those prints, they are only for you.  I did it with DS so that it didn't appear he was being singled out.  He just thought it was another grand adventure that he and Mommy were going on!

That is something I recommend EVERY NCP do with their children:  get fingerprints on them and have them stored (keep updated pics of them as well) in a safe place, either in a fired-safe lock box (with another key with someone you trust) or give them to someone you trust explicitly to store safely.  There are organizations that will do this, but you can go to any LEA and have it done as well.  While you're at it, write down ANY identifying marks on the child, eye and hair color, birth marks, ANYTHING that would help to identify your child and keep that with the prints as well.

If your child is ever taken, especially from YOUR custody, get out that info and get it to the nearest LEA immediately.  Include details on what your child was wearing as well.  It's very easy to be distraught enough to 'forget' small details, but it's VERY important to think very carefully of those seemingly unimportant details...you never know when it might become VERY important.  Give them an overload of information, if at all possible.  Don't be afraid to ask a friend or family member to help you remember details as well.  They may remember that very slight gap in between your daughter's front teeth or how your toddler son pronounces his R's as W's, something you may not remember as well, since you see them all the time.  It's ALL important!