Guy in North Dakota needing some help...

[DakotaGuy]

Hello!  I hope this website is as goo as it seems...

I have felt alone in this huge mess I am in!  Didn't think there was anybody out there who can relate to my situation!  Here goes....met a girl, fell for her madly!  moved in with her after 3-4 weeks!  We decided to have  a baby...found out on May 2nd that we were pregnant!  Great day!  On May 24th, she kicked me out of the house.  No contact with her....nothing.  She now has a restraining order against me, which complicates this crazy situation even more!  She tried to get a domestic violence one against me, but that was immediatley thrown out...as I would never hurt this woman, or my beautiful angel. 

I was not allowed to any Dr. appointments....was sent a picture on my phone with her ultrasound, saying "i would like to introduce to you, your daughter".  My daughter was born on Jan. 4th, she called me the night that she was born and invited me to the hospital!  I spent an hour with her.  Me and her (my babys mama) just can't seem to get along.  No matter what I do, she finds something to be upset at me for.  I'm trying to keep to the main parts of this story....I did not sign the bith cert. as I was not 100% sure this child was mine....well now the paternity results test came back and i'm 99.99% the father. 

Now what?!?!?!  About 3 weeks ago I took my baby and her mama to brunch....we talked for 2 hours, thought we cuold 'work it out between ourselves' but two days later she's back to hating me!  I sent her another text today asking if we could work on some sort of visitation agreement....something we could both agree on.  No answer....she could have me arrested for any moment for me even sending her a text.    I just want to see my little girl  

She is 5 weeks old now and I've seen her for a total of 3 hours.  She's the first thing I think about when I take up and the last thing I think about before bed.  I have totally changed my life around, making my/my little girls future the most important thing! I am a full time student who serves tables at night.  I bought a little place of my own....need to start somewhere! and am working very very hard at this 'game of life'! 

I cannot currently employ a lawyer....I have had one for the last 9 months that has written letters for me and has gone to court about the restraining orders. 

Now, I can't find a decent attorney and want to do SOMETHING to get the 'ball rolling!'

Wow I have written a book....sorry...

any advice???

Thanks in advance.

[*iLUVmySD*]

You need to file! It's always better for you if you initiate the case.  This means child support as well.  I would go online or ask you local clerk for the paperwork to get started.  Until you get something in the court, she can take your child anywhere and you have nothing to say, no rights because you were not married. Good luck.

[trystero]

Suggest going to Borders or nearest book store and looking though some of the many fathers rights and child custody books.  They'll help you understand the process.  Knowledge is going to be your best resource.  What does ND law say about parents rights/times?  What do you want?


The clerk at the court can help you fill out the right forms.  You might want to check out fathershelphotline.com as well for some lower cost legal help.

You do have rights.  Don't doubt that.  You should be able to file Motions for Parenting Time, there's a downloadable form for setting up a parenting time plan.

A few things to be aware of:
- child support will factor in...
- because your daughter is so young, you'll see some bias from the courts towards it being 'best' that she spend the majority of her time with mother.  However, that will mostly impact overnight visits, you should be able to go for as much visitation time as you want (hour a day, or few hours twice a week), etc.
- It will feel like it sucks (because it does) but as your daughter gets older, you should posture yourself for 50% custody....
- Do not fall into the trap of trying to negotiate UP from some low number like 10% visitation or something.  Make them negotiate down from your entitled 50%.....save you trouble downstream..