Question

[gemini3]

Davy, it seems like you're making some broad assumptions.  I think that it's actually better for him that the trial was pushed back because it gives him more time to show that he's going to stick around this time.  As it stands he is getting more than the standard visitation, and I can see why it would make sense for the mom to have one weekend a month.  It's important for both sides to have the opportunity for time together as a family, and to visit other family members. 

Also, before they went to court and got a parenting plan the mom was giving him MORE time, of her own free will.  I think this shows a lot on her behalf, and I don't think we should assume that she's talking trash about dad to the kids.  If she was an alienator why would she have allowed him visitation with the children without a court order?  That just doesn't add up.

Why would you say that they need to give the mother a hysterectomy?  From what the poster has said she has been pretty easy to deal with.  Saying that is inflammitory and doesn't help anyone's cause.

[Davy]

to CSVS : you're picking and choosing just to attack davy AND AGAIN trying to sway the post away from the subject matter post .  Clearly what I posted  is the  truth which you appear to have a hard time with :

"  As we know these matters are complicated and there is seldom a simple answer or resolution especially with atorneys/courts involved.  The kids grades slipping may be related to the  fathers's reappearance but the direct cause could be due to the mother's reaction and snide off hand negative remarks directed at the father which is upsetting to the kids.
We just don't know. "

Note I said "could be" and ended with "We just don't know.

Gemini : What ?  Broard assumptions ?  Hysterectomy ?
Just like you make broad assumptions questioning if "father stick around this time" and other derogatory comments to tear down the dad while building up mommy dearest.

My post are open and  honest.  I try to encourage the participants to find a way to work out the matters at hand.  In other words, let the courts and attorneys stand down.  Do you have a serious problem or is it just because you realize the court may not have view you previously posted and this father has a fighting chance. That's what the poster asked.  There's no need for you to turn each post inwards.  Don't shake your finger at me unless you want my finger in return.

[cvcs]

to CSVS : you're picking and choosing just to attack davy AND AGAIN trying to sway the post away from the subject matter post .  Clearly what I posted  is the  truth which you appear to have a hard time with :

"  As we know these matters are complicated and there is seldom a simple answer or resolution especially with atorneys/courts involved.  The kids grades slipping may be related to the  fathers's reappearance but the direct cause could be due to the mother's reaction and snide off hand negative remarks directed at the father which is upsetting to the kids.
We just don't know. "

I am very sorry, Davy. You did say that it was only a possibility. It may also be related to (and the direct cause being) a full moon during a wedding procession led by a high school marching band barking orders at large ballerinas wearing diving gear and carrying ostriches.

[Kitty C.]

C'mon......do you want to fan the flames or give the OP some advice or insight that they can possibly use?  CSVS, since you're new here, I would recommend reading regular posters well before posting a comment like that.  Davy is a regular who frequently uses analogies to make his point.  Others have different styles......this is his.  So sometimes it takes some reading to understand a poster to know where they're coming from, and whether they're being mean-spirited or just sarcastic.  Take it from one who knows.........it took me a while to figure him out myself.....right, Davy? 

And let's stay on topic........

[cvcs]

Kitty C. you are absolutely right about the tone being inappropriate, and I see that you're pointing out that posters having different styles. Words are powerful things, and fueling flames is not helpful. Please at this point take into consideration that the hostility with which Davy responded was not just a style, Kitty C. It was a bold presumption about a mom without knowing the situation. You're right about sarcasm not being useful here. My reaction was from the gut, and not from the head. It would have been better to address the original post in a positive way.

[Davy]

Again and again I posted :
" As we know these matters are complicated and there is seldom a simple answer or resolution especially with atorneys/courts involved.  The kids grades slipping may be related to the  fathers's reappearance but the direct cause could be due to the mother's reaction and snide off hand negative remarks directed at the father which is upsetting to the kids.
We just don't know. "

It is true .. WE JUST DON'T KNOW.  It could be the students are having difficulty with a subject matter or they have a new boyfriend or perhaps their grades aren't slipping at all and some admininistrator or teacher made that proclamation to show disfavor toward the father in an upcoming hearing.  Ya'll can be assured there will be no apologies for the original example I used.  It was an example.  It was Not sarcastic.  If you consider it hostile then you simply don't know hostility at all. It is also true ... As we know these matters are complicated and there is seldom a simple answer or resolution especially with atorneys/courts involved. WE JUST DON'T KNOW".

The reason you can't stay on topic is because you have nothing of value to stay on topic with.

Ya'll can be assured there will be no apologies for the original example I used.  It was an example.  It was Not sarcastic.  If you consider it mean-spirited or hostile then you simply don't know anything about a mean-spirit or hostility..

Geesh !  Go figure !

I have figured.  Ya'll just simply want to slice and dice less important sentences in a post
because of your deceiving pro-female, anti-father, anti children and anti-family stances brought on by your mis-guided idealologies.

Kitty, I think it was those frozen turkey balls that did it. You stlll have'nt invited me to partake but I think about it all the time. 

More later !

[cvcs]

"because of your deceiving pro-female, anti-father, anti children and anti-family stances brought on by your mis-guided idealologies." - Davy

Kitty C, that's not a style. That's a damaged human being.
Davy, please think about finding a therapist who can address whatever it was that hurt you so deeply as a kid, whatever abuse it was you suffered at the hands of whatever emasculating men in your life. My heart goes out to you, my head just doesn't understand why you attack people.

[Davy]

First of all I do not need to explain or defend myself to you or Kitty or the likes of you. 

WHAT IS IMPORTANT is that you keep to the task at hand as it pertains to the subject matter at hand.  It would be wise for you examine the purpose of "SPARC".

I strongly suspect you are a continuation of a troubled poster from the last several weeks and associated with an org. funded by HHS.  If that is the case then at least I've got your sorry butt belittling me with tax payer dolllars instead of destroying children.  So the kids win.

As you might guess I've had the best-ever of male role models and female role models.  Women tend to love me and feminists tend to hate me.  Just the way I want it.  I'm a guy's guy.   

I'm curious.  Why didn't you address your post to "Earl" ?  Are you hoping to find support by posting to Kitty ? 

[Waylon]

As mentioned in another post, we encourage debate here, even very ummm, spirited debate, but I would ask everyone to refrain from name-calling or gratuitous attacks. Fair enough?

[gemini3]

Gemini : What ?  Broard assumptions ?  Hysterectomy ?
Just like you make broad assumptions questioning if "father stick around this time" and other derogatory comments to tear down the dad while building up mommy dearest.

My post are open and  honest.  I try to encourage the participants to find a way to work out the matters at hand.  In other words, let the courts and attorneys stand down.  Do you have a serious problem or is it just because you realize the court may not have view you previously posted and this father has a fighting chance. That's what the poster asked.  There's no need for you to turn each post inwards.  Don't shake your finger at me unless you want my finger in return.

Davy, I don't see any comments that I made that were derogatory.  I cannot, however, say the same for you.  If you take the time to read all of the posts I have made on this board you will see that I don't take sides based on gender.  I am here because I believe that all children should have the benefit of a relationship with BOTH parents.  I think NCP's, be they male or female, get a bad rap in today's courts, and I am working at changing that - and not just by posting on this board

You say that you encourage participants to find a way to work out matters at hand, yet whenever I read your posts I am usually shocked at how quick you are to viscously attack people who have an opinion that differs from yours.

I have never said that I don't think this man should be part of his children's lives.  I don't think that he has a "fighting chance", as you put it, at getting 50/50 custody after disappearing from his daughters lives for five years, and having only been back for a year.  I think his time, energy and money would be better spent on his daughters than on lawyers at this point.  That is my opinion, and I am as entitled to it as you are to yours

I don't think I "turn each post inwards".  Instead, I felt that I was sharing a unique perspective that is extremely relevant to the conversation we are having.  What I had to say wasn't for your benefit, so I really don't care if you got anything out of what I said.  Don't tell me though that I shouldn't have said it, because I think there are a lot of people who would benefit from it, including this poster.  I think that more people who are going through separation and divorce should consider the impact their actions are having on their children, and less on how they are or are not affecting their ex.  If that were the case we would probably all have a lot less to put on these message boards. 

I especially take issue with you asking me, not for the first time, if I "have a problem".  It is the equivalent, in my eyes, as bowing up to someone at a bar because you think they looked at you funny.  Not something that I can find much respect for, and an attitude that I find to be aggressive and antagonistic.  I read a lot of anger in your posts, and I think that in your anger you are so ready for a fight you end up attacking the people who are on the same side as you.  Like me.