Question

[Angus571]

I had my lawyer submit to her attorney that I am unhappy with the current agreement of one week on one week off for the summer.  I don't want it to be just for the summer...We will see what happens.

[shaden3]

Angus, I hope it's all right to go back to what you said early on: "I've done a good job of keeping things between us difficult..."

Is it possible that going forward with your lawyer in an adversarial way like this so quickly (after having been uninvolved so long as you noted) is setting the stage for more difficulties to come? You seemed to be very open to doing things in a way that gets you involved in a more meaningful way with your children, open to knowing that your reappearance is frought with challenges for your kids. Are you at all interested in working with your ex, rather than against her?

[Angus571]

I think we are beyond making amends

[shaden3]

I think we are beyond making amends

How we approach getting what we what and need is a choice we make. You can change your mind at any point, so please come back if you want to take control over how this plays out and you can ask for specific guidance. It will be here for you.

[Davy]

Whoosh !  Angus , come back to this board any time.  Thee is a lot of info. on this site and an army of good counsel.  Please keep us posted.  Best to ya !  Thanks for posting.

If anyone has a magic wand (without knowing the history of the participants) or they want to share new proven philosophies and theories as fact then I suggest SPARC will gladly document for the benefit of all.  So far, I haven't seen any verbage from some new posters that was not known as a six grader.

Otherwise, a poster should not contend or imply that are the all knowing and all telling.

[shaden3]

Davy, you may view your incessant "oppositional" nonsense as wry and entertaining. It's not. It's the self-serving, egomaniacal and childish stuff of someone who is outlandishly misdirected. Telling a poster that s/he can gets what's needed here by saying "it's here if you need it," could mean, you ranting toddler, that many posters here can and will guide him. If you took the time to read the posts, this would be known to you. However, there's very little good you do here, other than relate your hatred of anyone who can relate an intelligent thought that doesn't support your he-man-woman-hating hoohah. You jump to conclusions about everything everyone stands for, believes in and meant to say. Give everyone a break, man, and find a hint of kindness in your black soul.

[Momfortwo]

I would like to get 50/50 custody, don't know if I have a chance though.  I understand for 5 years I haven't been involved with school, doctors, etc, etc.  Plus I owe 17,000$ in child support.  Don't know if I could get that with my past?

Let's see if I got this straight:  You abandoned your children physically for 5 years, didn't pay your child support and you now want 50/50 physical custody? 

That isn't happening.  You chose not to be a parent for 5 years.  You chose not to pay your child support.  That will have a major impact with a judge.  And while it is good that you changed your mind and are now being an active part of the children's lives, that doesn't change the fact that you abandoned them. 

Rather than spending money on an attorney, you should spend the money paying off the child support arrears and counseling for the kids so that they can deal with what you did to them.   If you handle this right, you might be able to mend the damage you did to your relationship with your kids.  And trying to force 50/50 physical on children who aren't handling the current schedule well (their drop in grades is proof of that) is NOT handling it right.   

[shaden3]

MomofTwo, you've said some important things here. Angus does have options about what he might do with his money, and repairing the harm he said he did through child support payments and therapeutic care of his children are good ideas. Well said. Your ideas are positive and powerful, and this is just the kind of input that serves a poster well.

[Angus571]

New twist....

Ex has remarried, her spouse works for the goverment and he is being transfered next year.  She told me as a means to discuss options and give us time to think about it.  She is offering all summers with my girls and all holidays, with us splitting the cost of travel.  Now I am fighting for over 50% of custody since she is moving with the girls...Don't know how this will play out now, it's obvious that she is not fleeing and willing to give me a lot of visitation with the girls.  I don't know how a judge will view this now?

She has also done a lot of research on the new local area, schools/hospitals/doctors, etc, etc...They have done their homework and studies.  Plus she has family in the new area as well.

[ocean]

That is a normal visitation plan for long distance but since she is the one moving SHE should pay all travel costs. If it looks like the judge is going to split costs then ask for reduced child support due to the travel costs to see kids. Do you really think she will put them on a plane to see you after you have not seen them in so long? You can stop moves, meaning the kids stay with you and she can move BUT you have not been involved to get that yet. Do the kids want to move?