moved away.

[Davy]

Back in the days when mother were awarded "sole"  97.5% of the time the mother lost her sole for some of the same behaviors.  No drugs and she wasn't a prostitute who was picked up by the police every few weeks.

In my opinion, if gaining access to your children is considered a "hurdle" by anybody then that in itself is cause for her not to be around the children at all.  It should not be tolerated as "normal" when it is sick and very abnormal.

[Im-a-dad2]

Fortunately the Judge was, um, very pissed that my ex wouldn't even send me a measly report card, much less involve me in anything. The judge said to my ex: "He is still the child's father! He needs to know what's going on!"

I don't think gaining access is going to be a hurdle for me anymore.

[Davy]

E X C E L L E N T  ! !   good job.  congrats.

[Kitty C.]

I don't think gaining access is going to be a hurdle for me anymore.

I'm extremely happy that the judge ruled in your favor, but given your ex's history, don't expect her to roll over and capitulate.  I would imagine that she's probably pretty pissed off that the judge is telling her what she can and cannot do with her children (HER way of thinking).  So be prepared.....she may not automatically let you see the kids or give you the information you're entitled to.  Which means you just can't sit back and think everything wil be fine now.....you still need to document EVERYTHING....what happens and when, good or bad.  So that if she does screw up again, you have ammo to take back to court so that the judge can ream her another new one..........

Good luck and enjoy your time with your child! 

[Im-a-dad2]

Oh, trust me, I know all about documenting. I've been a frequent guest lurker on this site for a long time until I decided to post recently.

Also, the Judge specified that if my ex does slip up, deny visitation, meddle or be difficult in any way, that I am to bring her back to court immediately, and (get this) he would consider changing physical custody.

Now, I'm sure it was said only to scare her into behaving, but still, the look of horror on her face was nice enough.

I am not counting on her to give me info about our child. I am preparing to be able to convince the judge that he should give me joint legal, so I can get the info from the school myself. (FERPA) Besides, I'm going to know a lot more about my child now that I can actually talk with my child, without my ex hovering over and monitoring every word they say to me.

[snowrose]

I'm extremely happy that the judge ruled in your favor, but given your ex's history, don't expect her to roll over and capitulate.  I would imagine that she's probably pretty pissed off that the judge is telling her what she can and cannot do with her children (HER way of thinking).  So be prepared.....she may not automatically let you see the kids or give you the information you're entitled to.  Which means you just can't sit back and think everything wil be fine now.....you still need to document EVERYTHING....what happens and when, good or bad.  So that if she does screw up again, you have ammo to take back to court so that the judge can ream her another new one..........

Yes, that's exactly what I mean.  I've heard of it happening too many times among my friends.

Even BM here, when she had custody she usually couldn't wait for someone else to take SD.  But the one time I made SD's Halloween costume (at SD's request) and we wanted to have SD for 15 minutes on Halloween to get a picture of it - NOPE!  BM and her BF took SD out 3 separate times to go trick or treating, just to keep her busy until bedtime.  The kid had so much candy that BM forced her to give 2 pillowcases worth to friends at school.

So, it's real easy for BM to withhold visitation if she gets that bee in her bonnet.  With some custodial parents what's right isn't anywhere near the same thing as reality.

Glad the threat of custody change may have helped.  Hope that helps you with things for a long time to come.

[Kitty C.]

Now, I'm sure it was said only to scare her into behaving, but still, the look of horror on her face was nice enough.

*chuckle*  Too bad you didn't get a picture of that! 

[Davy]

Rightfully so the father is extremely happy because he finally gets to have his children or child by his side. I share in that joy since I've BTDT. 

Let us not forget the seriousness of this womans' offense against the child, the father, and the state.  As far as I'm concerned, she received a very light verbal reprimand for hiding a child for 2 years after abscounding with the child out of state substantially against state law, the court order and without the permission of the other parent.   These matters may well touch on criminal statues depending on the state.

Her behavior should not be twisted somehow into "denial of visitation" or treated like just another day in the life of a custodial parent.   I suspect the look of horror on her self-absorped face resulted from the shock of someone HINTING she MAY not be above man's laws or Gods laws. That's usually how self-absored and ill these people are.

[Im-a-dad2]

Davy - We have another hearing on the contempt motion (and joint legal) in 90 days.

I do plan to fight for her to be found in contempt, since I believe she should be held to the court order just like I am (God forbid I stop paying CS!) I also believe that if her actions go unpunished, then what's to stop her from disregarding and/or ignoring the court order in the future??

Either way, I will post the outcome.

[nnote]

Congrats, and...
You got lucky. Don't forget it and don't let it happen again
2 hours west may be out of state, but 2 hours east may be still instate. Would you have gotten just as lucky if she moved east? (or whatever direction it was...)
BTW... you didn't mention if you were dealing with an x with a mental disorder. If so, I can understand some of what happened, still, If I were the Judge I would have reprimanded you also for your inaction.
Regardless, it's time for action! Document x 3. Document Document...
The mothers actions were in-excusable, but you let it happen.