Wife went on vacation and didn't bring kids back.

[rocky]

My wife took kids on one last trip before school.  She didn't bring them back.  She came and got clothes and beds.  Says she is going to think about things for a couple of months.  I don't know that she intends to come back.  She and the kids are 1100 miles away in another state.  Our oldest has some emotional issues and doesn't do well with change.  I want my kids back but don't want to push her away. I hope for reconciliation.  How long does one wait before pursuing parental kidnapping?

[Momfortwo]

My wife took kids on one last trip before school.  She didn't bring them back.  She came and got clothes and beds.  Says she is going to think about things for a couple of months.  I don't know that she intends to come back.  She and the kids are 1100 miles away in another state.  Our oldest has some emotional issues and doesn't do well with change.  I want my kids back but don't want to push her away. I hope for reconciliation.  How long does one wait before pursuing parental kidnapping?

Unless you file in court to have the kids returned NOW, the court will view you as having accepted becoming a long-distance parent. 

Just how are you going to work on a reconciliation when your stbx is 1,100 miles away?  It's time to start thinking about your kids. 

[Giggles]

I agree with Momfortwo!  It's a sneaky game your STBX is playing that will most likely guarentee her to get primary placement eventhough she's the one who moved.

File an Exparte order NOW to demand her bring the KIDS back, she can stay to do whatever thinking she wants, but the kids need to stay with you!!

[Davy]

I adamantly disagree in part with Momfortwo.  Much of the serious material concerning like matters indicates an urgency to retieve the kids home because the children are at risk. are endangered, and/or are being exploited. Normally, there is a third party interferring in the family unit and many chracteristics of this behavior resembles a stranger abduction. 

There is absolutely no way to know how a court will view the situation.  The verbage about acceptance of long distance parenting is simply the beginning of the "abuse accuses" as a cover for the mother abductor while the children remain unprotected.... do not assume the children are safe because they are with a parent.  The urgency and only priority is the well-being of the children that have to be returned home immediately.

[grtdaddy]

she is playing you friend. she isn't coming back. best thing you can do is what everyone has said, FILE NOW!

[Momfortwo]

I adamantly disagree in part with Momfortwo. 

Not even quoting the rest of your post because it is just drivel.

He isn't going to be able to just go and pick up the kids with the mother there WITHOUT A COURT ORDER.  Hence, the suggestion to take LEGAL action NOW. 

As opposed to waiting so long that a court will view him as having accepted the move.  Which HAS happened before when the parent who didn't move dragged his/her feet. 

[Kitty C.]

There you have it, rocky..........4 responses that say exactly the same thing:  Get those children back asap and do it in a way that won't jeopardize their wellbeing:

'It's time to start thinking about your kids.'

'File an Exparte order NOW to demand her bring the KIDS back, she can stay to do whatever thinking she wants, but the kids need to stay with you!!'

'The urgency and only priority is the well-being of the children that have to be returned home immediately.'

'best thing you can do is what everyone has said, FILE NOW!'

[Davy]

Momfortwo

just because you make bold statements spreading falsehoods doesn't mean someone can't politely disagree ... which I did. 

Worst yet you respond with more falsehoods.  Absent any court order, like in this case, the father can just go there and LEGALLY retrieve his children even in the presence of the mother.
It would be much better if he had the backing of a favorable court order because it remove doubt but it certainly is NOT ILLEGAL.

Your constant statements "that the court WILL view " thisa or thata is simply stinkin thinkin and does not even approach rationality.  In those cases where a court has the view a left behind parent accepts the situation is definitely the start of "abuse excuses" and a reflection of the biases and prejudiceses of the court systems that do not protect children. 

[Momfortwo]

Momfortwo

just because you make bold statements spreading falsehoods doesn't mean someone can't politely disagree ... which I did. 

Worst yet you respond with more falsehoods.  Absent any court order, like in this case, the father can just go there and LEGALLY retrieve his children even in the presence of the mother.
It would be much better if he had the backing of a favorable court order because it remove doubt but it certainly is NOT ILLEGAL.

Your constant statements "that the court WILL view " thisa or thata is simply stinkin thinkin and does not even approach rationality.  In those cases where a court has the view a left behind parent accepts the situation is definitely the start of "abuse excuses" and a reflection of the biases and prejudiceses of the court systems that do not protect children. 

He will not  be able to retrieve the children if the mother, you know, the other legal parent, is there WITHOUT A COURT ORDER.  The cops simply won't get involved in what they consider a DOMESTIC DISPUTE.

Case in point, when my cousin was 15 years old (still a minor), she was upset.  She went to her older sister's house.  Without her mother's permission.  My aunt went there to pick up her minor child.  My older cousin refused.  My aunt called the cops.  The cops came. 

My older cousin refused to let them in the house.  Do you know what the cops did?  Absolutely nothing.  They needed a court order or my older cousin's permission to enter the house.  They had neither. 


And my younger cousin spent the night at my older cousin's house.  Do you know what kind of legal trouble she got into?  She didn't. 

The cops aren't going to be able to do anything without a court order unless they are in a public place WITHOUT the mother, you know, the other legal parent.

And if the father waits too long, he's going to have an extremely hard time getting the courts to believe that he didn't accept the move.   As stated before, it HAS happened where the left behind parent ended up being a long-distance parent simply because s/he didn't do anything in a timely manner. 

I am sorry that you are having a problem grasping that, but that is your problem. 

I am also sorry that you are under the illusion that the cops can do anything without a court order, it's very misleading when you give out information  that indicates that the cops can make the mother hand the child over in the abscence of a court order. 

[Mom0f3]

I see that you know your "wife" is 1,100 miles away from you, however do you know exactly where she is in order for you to get your kids back?  About eight years ago my SS Mother did that to my Husband.  She took the child with her boyfriend and they moved.  She gave us a fake address which the apartment complex told us they had nobody living there under her or her boyfriends name.  My Husband was going crazy without his son because we constantly had him before she pulled this stunt out of nowhere, when the month before she had very little contact with the child. 

My Husband and I sat in a parking lot near the boyfriends job and had to follow him at night to find out where they had moved to.  Once we found out where they had moved the next day we went to try and get/see my SS.  The mother opened the door, seen my Husband, slam the door in his face, his son cried for his Father, and she called the police.  I recorded the whole incident on video, when the police came they made my Husband leave the property.  He was unable to get my SS even though he was his FATHER.  Guess what no court papers at that time, we only had a lawyer and was working our way to court against the Mother.

Point being, I would file what ever it is you can.  I would not wait for anything.  Just because you show up does not mean you will get your child(ren), I know this from going through this with my Husband.  It might not be what you want to do, but it's what you have to do.  Why else would she leave and just not come back, even at the time school is starting if you have school age kids.